I’ve been seeing clients for seven years now, and I’ve always done a longer first session. I just haven’t been able to meet for an hour the first time, because it feels unfinished. So we do up to an hour and a half. I want to literally change their life in that first session; it’s just how I’m wired. I’ve had to learn, of course, that it often doesn’t work that way, and that’s fine. But still, the longer first session feels natural. We’re just not usually at a stopping point after an hour. I’m really more of a teacher, anyway, and it takes time to teach, in addition to listening to and supporting the client in the way that they need. And I want them to have an experience of peace in my office, in that chair, in that first session. So that’s how we roll.
That’s why I was so surprised when I recently had a first session that lasted… twelve minutes! Yes, you read that correctly. Twelve minutes. We’re talking 720 seconds, and that included the paperwork. As you’ll see, I was very happy that he let me write about this. It shows how this self-love stuff is so different, and how it can help so much faster if it’s the right fit. In fact, I really can’t imagine how a more traditional counselor would’ve handled it. Maybe it would’ve been fantastic! But I know that our way was like a laser, and it was super awesome. And the bonus with our way is that it’ll handle the bulk of anything that he ever experiences for the rest of his life. So we have that going for us… Because we’re taking the most powerful stuff in the universe – love – and we’re using it as needed on a moment to moment basis to heal and clear. Pretty effective.
The client is actually someone I’ve known for several years, though not very well. He found me online and emailed me, saying he had a problem that he thought we’d only need one or two sessions to resolve. I had no idea what the problem was, but this sounded like a good plan to me. So when he told me what it was, I thought it was the coolest thing. And for him to come talk to a professional about this really touched me, because it shows he’s a very good person; otherwise he wouldn’t have cared. And please don’t think I’m minimizing his issue; it’s just that I instantly knew how innocent it was. That’s it – it was the innocence that touched me right away. I almost started laughing because it was so sweet! Laughing in a gentle, “awwww…” kind of way. Because again, it showed how good a person he is at the core (which I already knew) and that he was horrified at what was happening! And I knew right away that we’d be able to knock it out in no time. Here we go…
His mother is quite advanced in age, and it seems she’s coming to the end of her time here. She lives out of town, and his siblings are in the same city and are taking good care of her. He said she’s not extremely wealthy, but they’ll all receive an inheritance of some sort, and it’ll be an amount of money that anyone would be happy to have. So the issue is this – knowing that she might pass away at any time, and knowing that he’ll receive an inheritance from her, he instantly smiles and has a good feeling when he sees that he has a call or a text from one of his siblings. In a split second, there’s the thought that since it’s from them, it must be about mom. And any day it could be the news that she’s passed away. And that means some money will be on the way. And he has an excited feeling. Again, all of that happens instantaneously. And he’s absolutely horrified and wondering if there’s something wrong with him!
As I said above, I thought this was the sweetest thing that he was telling me this, because I know him. I don’t know him well, but it’s super clear that he’s a really good guy. He’s just a good person. And he was explaining that he loves his mom and doesn’t want her to just die so he can get some money. But this thought just pops in his head out of nowhere! So I was so happy to let him off the hook, explaining that yes, thoughts just pop in our heads. It’s not necessarily even your thought; it’s just a thought. So… what do you do with it? Because he doesn’t remember signing up for thoughts like this. So what can we do? Love the thinker. Bam! This “loving what arises” stuff is so universal and so powerful…
The thinker is the inner child, and it’s deserving of love. Wouldn’t a child smile and be happy at the thought of more toys? Yes, that’s called normal. If he really feels into what his soul wants, though, it’s that his mother is okay and feeling good and that she’s around for as long as she wants to be around. But this is a part of him that responds to his sibling’s name on the phone automatically, without consulting his whole being. In other words, he’s not a terrible person and it’s not a big deal. It’s a chance to love that part of himself, though, and that IS a big deal. Because that’s how we return to wholeness.
So I explained that most people would feel good at the thought of more money coming into their bank account out of nowhere. “Here you go, have this free gift.” Sign me up! Again, that’s normal. So the part of him that’s aware of the fact that he’s going to get this money, and pretty soon, is totally innocent. It’s the inner child, a little four-year-old that doesn’t know any better. Read that again and breathe it in, because that’s the most important part of this whole thing – it’s nothing more than a four-year-old acting exactly like you’d expect a four-year-old to act. When he sees one of his siblings on his phone, that part shows up right away and is excited, like it’s his birthday or something. So what we do now is love that little guy. Put your hand on your heart and breathe that breath of love into your heart, blanketing him. And then calmly and slowly explain to him that he loves mom and hopes she’s fine, and that the universe is in charge of the timing of her passing. And that it’s okay to want some money, but let’s relax and enjoy mom while she’s here. And the whole thing settles down. Yay.
Read that again about loving the little guy/gal and how to do it, that slow and gentle parent-child conversation, because it can change your life. Like, big time. So powerful! When you take the time to stop and do it, that is… But what we just did would take less than thirty seconds. And then contrast that with how most of the world, without this understanding of “loving what arises,” would respond. Sibling calls, you instantly feel giddy at the thought that maybe she died, and then you squash that down and feel horrible about yourself. And you’re stuffing these energies each time it happens, beating yourself up more and more and wondering what’s wrong with you. Maybe you even develop anxiety and/or depression, along with some marital strife and health problems for dessert. But what’s truly wrong with you? Nothing! When you love that innocent part of yourself as it arises, those energies can flow. Plus, you become grounded in your soul, the larger part of you that does not want mom to die one second before she’s ready.
Another cool thing is that many years ago, he learned about the great benefit of taking slow, deep breaths. He’s been doing that for years, like when work is stressful. So I explained that all we’re really doing is adding love to the mix. We’re turning that breath into a strong blast of love for the part of him that needs it in any moment, the part that could use an inner hug. So he got it right away. And we were basically done!
I pointed out that in addition to taking care of the problem at hand, he’s now prepared for whatever shows up in the future. He said that he’s at a stage of life where he really has no stress, and that he has a healthy, awesome family. So he’s really good. The only thing, though, might be the idea of death in general, since he’s getting older himself. So we addressed that before we parted ways, using what we had just learned and practiced. With hand on the heart and eyes closed, we loved the one that’s curious about death, the one that’s afraid of death, etc. Love all of them and then go on about your day.
So that’s the tale of the twelve-minute session, one of my favorite sessions of all time. I know, there are too many favorites to count after all these years. What a gift, participating in these massive and loving shifts. There’s also a really interesting additional component to this session, and it involves me and what was going on in my life that day. It also involves my friend Charlie, and he has no idea. I don’t know if he even knows what I do, so maybe I’ll share this with him. I think he’ll be cool with it, though, since I’m only saying how he’s super nice and awesome! So look out for that post, and I’ll link to it when it’s done. It’s about the intelligent, connected universe and surrender. We don’t always know why things happen the way they do, and we definitely don’t always like it, but there’s always a reason. And it’s always for the best in the long run. I love this stuff… Peace out! And as always, I’m here to help if I can.