2016 Review, 2017 Preview, & A Personal Sharing

Hi folks. There’s always SO much to share with you here, what with the magic going on in the office as well in my life and the lives of my friends and family. And I’m so busy! Which is awesome… After five and a half years, I feel like the practice is finally on pretty solid footing. The transformations have been off the charts lately, too, and it’s been absolutely blowing my mind. So humbling, too – just trying to get out of the way. My clients really are teaching me some things, teaching me what is possible, even just in the last couple of weeks. Wow. So I’m super busy and not the most organized person much of the time, and we all need rest, so thankfully I don’t beat myself up anymore! A thought like “I should write more blog posts” isn’t even true, but most of us don’t really look at those “shoulds.” And since we’re always feeling our thinking, well, you know how that kind of thinking feels. So now that we have that out of the way, let’s get down to business…

Wow, what a year! Holy sh*t. This year has had some crazy high highs as well as some incredibly low lows and LOTS of pain, which I know would surprise many of you. I’m sure I’ll be sharing it all at some point, but it’s not the time yet. And I’m still clearing out and learning and understanding it all. Our old BS is simply on the way out – our bis ass egos, fears, insecurities, and false beliefs of being small. And the universe is really good at bringing us the exact situations at the exact times to shake that stuff up so that it can be seen and released. It’s a pretty brutal way of doing things in my opinion, and honestly I do not understand what’s up with this earth scene – I’m still working on that. And trust me, most others don’t know as well. I’ve thought I’ve known a hundred times, and there’s a ton of spiritual beliefs that are taken as law, but I’m seeing that most of that stuff is just mass belief and not necessarily true. After all, it really wasn’t that long ago when the smarties thought the earth was flat and they would burn you at the stake if you believed otherwise. Think about that one for a second… So I’m living in “I don’t know,” or “show me the money,” more and more. And there’s way more peace there. And I am NOT naturally oriented that way at all. I was a pretty serious know-it-all when I was younger, and I’m still undoing that pattern. One of my college roommates pointed it out junior year, and I was so thankful that he did. Because that’s not fun to be around. And again, thankfully I don’t judge it anymore! Just see it and choose with lots of self-love and innocence what to do in that moment. Bam.

So this year has had quite a shake-out, with the universe rounding off those rougher edges. I’ve learned how to truly feel the energies in my body WAY more this year, starting with what I wrote about this this summer on this topic. Then recent events brought about a TON of pain and anger, and it was like burning lava in my body! It was truly crazy! Since feelings are generally an inside job, this means that the cause must’ve been some deep, old, core stuff coming up. I was trying to sleep and I was just so mad. But I was feeling it as best I could, just allowing it to be there and move when it wanted to. And my mind was going off about the situation, but as best I could I didn’t participate. I watched it and let it do its thing, but it was tough. This feeling was SO intense. And I could not sleep at all. But you know what happened? By 4 am, after about six hours of lying in bed and not sleeping, I noticed something. It was gone. The feeling was gone. The burning lava of energy in my body that I described to someone as “the anger and rage of the whole country” had cleared out and was gone. I was me again; I was back. I still didn’t like the situation, and I had to deal with it, but that energy had left my system. And when it leaves, it’s gone forever. Now, there might be more, and in this case there totally was! And is. But I had no idea I could feel to that level. It was literally one of the most profound experiences of my life. So now I’m actually grateful for what had happened to cause it! And you know something cool? My sessions, starting the very next day, were on a different level. I mean, it was freaking crazy! And this is all just in the last several weeks, so I’m SO excited about that. This work is finally beginning to take form. Which leads to…

What about the future? In October of last year, I was convinced that I was ready to write a book laying all this stuff out in a really clear way. I joined something called Self-Publishing School, which is pretty cool. They try to make it as easy as possible to self-publish and even become an Amazon bestseller. In three months. Yes, you read that correctly. They lay it all out and you do exactly what they say, for just one hour a day. One hour a day. And I didn’t do exactly what they said for one hour a day. Total resistance, it wasn’t flowing, it wasn’t happening. I tried my best, but it just wasn’t happening. And I’ve noticed for years with me that when there’s resistance, it usually means the timing isn’t right. And I had a strong sense that I just wasn’t ready. Then this year happened, with all of the intense ups and downs, and I finally think I’m about ready. I’m WAY better at my job now because I “get it” much more deeply. My understanding of the truth has moved even more from the head down to the heart, and to being a lived experience. And I’m not saying that I’m there or that there’s a destination; you just keep deepening in the truth that what you are is NOT the body and the small identity that you see in the mirror. And what we really are is such an upgrade! And love is actually not missing, ever. And wow, I know that it sure can seem that way sometimes… We’ll be walking in a deeper feeling of love more and more in the coming year. I’m still feeling out how this will will look and sound on this blog, though, but that’s all good. Timing.

I think that the future of this work is not in individual sessions but rather in writing books. And maybe online programs after that, but no rush. On any of this. I’ve learned to get out of the way and to not force things. I’m not a forcer; it just hasn’t worked (see the “should” stuff above). I’ve tried before and then beaten myself up – is “beaten” really a word?? – so thankfully that’s pretty much a thing of the past. It feels so much better and everything works better in the end. A win win. The slow way really is the fast way… So that’s the vision I have, and it feels very natural. I want to reach more people, like exponentially more people. Way freaking more. And get this information in the schools, in businesses, etc. And get it to other therapists! That’s huge. And to psychiatrists and doctors. Please don’t give a stressed or depressed or anxious person a pill as the first step, as the answer. Instead, teach the person about how things work first – the stuff we talk about here. And see what happens. And then re-evaluate the situation. Because that alone might fix it.

So that’s enough for now, good folks. It feels so good to share more deeply with you here, and I’m sure there will be more of that going forward. We’re all in this earth thing together, so let’s share and help each other wake up and learn what we really are and what’s really going on. Remember all the stuff out there like the book Dying to be Me that’s so helpful in zooming out and seeing the big picture. And here at A Clean Mind, we’re doing our best to put it into action in our daily lives, the good, the bad, and the ugly. And let’s not forget about the beautiful, because despite how hectic and chaotic things can seem to be, there’s still plenty of that. And that’s a beautiful thing. Take care, and I’ll see you next time. Which will probably be soon because I don’t want my mom to worry about me based on what was written above. I’m actually incredibly awesome right now, Mom, and better than ever. We will discuss over the holidays 🙂