Corona 5: Can I Really Affect The Outer World With How I View Things?

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So yesterday we talked about the radical idea of having – and feelinglegitimate gratitude for coronavirus. And how that’s like shining a super bring light on it, speeding up its journey back to the light from which it came. I know this may sound radical, if not crazy, to many people. And they might wonder if we can really affect the outer world with such a practice. So I wanted to talk briefly about that today.

Let’s get right to it… Science from around 100 years ago says that you can’t NOT affect the outer world. That’s because it’s all connected. Simply by being aware of something, you affect it. What? Simply by looking at something or thinking about something, you change it. Because you are part of it. I’m no quantum physicist, but these are the implications of their discoveries in the early 1900’s.

A classic book that’s written by a non-scientist (so it’s actually very readable) is The Dancing Wu-Li Masters by Gary Zukav. You can also search the web, because there’s lots more recent stuff out there. But the idea is that since everything in the universe is literally connected at the deepest level, your awareness of something affects it. The only question is how much. Now, it may be a very small effect. But to ask how large the effect is versus IS there an effect at all? Those are two very different questions. And I’d rather be asking how large the effect is. So I wanted to really ground us in the fact that we can’t NOT affect something that we’re aware of; it’s just not possible. If we’re putting any of our attention onto something, then it is changed in some way. Isn’t that interesting? I sure think so!

So this post is mainly just a brief reminder of this very old science. It gets you thinking differently, and with more power. Also remember that spending any amount of time feeling grateful for certain aspects of this coronavirus situation sure is a vacation from worrying about it. And I’m not pretending this isn’t happening! I’m handling things as they arise, and in the best manner possible at the time. I’m being as smart about this as I can. And of course when worry arises in me, I love. But I’m trying to spend the rest of my time in this better feeling state. And it’s been feeling pretty food so far.

We have the inner and the outer. The outer is taking care of business, TCB. Getting your stuff done. Helping others. You get the idea. Just be appropriate in the world, be normal. But the inner is more how you see things, along with feeling gratitude for what you see. My work mostly involves the inner (using self-love first), but please know that it’s never at the expense of the outer. And the more we do this inner work, the more we tend to show up brighter and shinier in the outer world. It’s a win-win.

So keep this in mind, just be open to it. It really is fascinating. If you have some time on your hands, you might look into this “deep stuff” some more. Search “popular quantum physics” or “popular quantum mechanics” and see what comes up. Just do it for fun. I’ve always wondered why we’re still viewing things as being so separate, though, over a century after the discovery of oneness. That doesn’t make much sense. And the ancient spiritual folks have talked about how we’re all one for millenia. So this might be something good that comes from the coronavirus, a deeper understanding of reality. Who knows? It’s time we update how we see things, though, that’s for sure. And now many of us have more time on our hands to use to do this.

Speaking of which, I’ll be sharing how I’ve been spending more of my time pretty soon. It’s my “triple threat,” and it feels amazing. And powerful. I do this when I wake up in the morning, before I get out of bed, as well as any other time the thought crosses my mind. I definitely do it before and after I go shopping, and in the store as well. I don’t know if it’s helping, but so far, so good. And it makes me feel good, anyway, so I can’t argue with that. One part of it is our radical gratitude from the last post. So stayed tuned, hang in there, and we’ll get through this together. Keep up with focusing on your transformation (how this can actually help you), and give that radical gratitude a try as well. And as always, I’m here to help if I can. Using Zoom for web sessions, of course…

Corona 4: Using Gratitude? YES. It’s Very Powerful… Here’s The How And Why

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Okay folks, let’s talk gratitude. But not your grandparents’ gratitude. This one is fierce and powerful. That’s because the energy of gratitude is very, very strong. You might say it’s of an incredibly “high vibration.” Fear, on the other hand, is of a very “low vibration.” Think about a ridiculously bright and powerful state-of-the-art LED spotlight versus a weak flashlight from the 80’s with questionable batteries. Which one would you rather use to light up a big space?

The name of the game is viewing anything – anything – with more gratitude and less fear. And “viewing” means shining that light on it, the strong one or the weak one. That’s why you might’ve heard the phrase, “the light of awareness.” And I’m not pretending that we won’t have fear. But we already know what to do – when a part of us is afraid, we love that part on the spot as I talked about in our first corona post. Hands on heart and breathe love into your heart if you can. Else do it with eyes open and looking normal. That’s always first – loving what arises. So that handles fear as it arises – or anger, sadness, despair, hopelessness, confusion, insecurity, you name it.

Once that has been done to a sufficient degree, we do our best to shift to gratitude. And it has to be authentic, as a feeling in the body. We find something about the coronavirus that we feel grateful for. It doesn’t have to be the whole thing, but just one thing, big or small. I’ll give some examples below. And we even say, “Thank you coronavirus for [blank].” And if the words “Thank you coronavirus…” are triggering then you return to love. Then you continue with the gratitude. Just keep breathing and keep practicing this, and it should become more natural. And over time, gratitude will be anchored more and more deeply.

Just saying “thank you” and “coronavirus” in the same sentence is an evolutionary shift from what the world is doing. And we’re evolving beyond what the world is and has been doing. Remember, that’s the whole point of this. It’s a huge shift, a very uncomfortable jolt. But there is a plan. The world is not healthy now, and it hasn’t been for a very long time. And yes, I agree that this is extreme! I didn’t invent it or decide on it, but I’m absolutely doing my best to understand it and master it, so as to speed this whole thing up as much as possible. And to smooth it out as much as possible.

When we say, “Thank you coronavirus,” it sends a very bright light to the coronavirus. And that’s what we want. It’ll eventually return to the light from which it came (all things do – more on this in a post coming soon), so we’re literally speeding this process up. And I don’t know about you, but I’d prefer that we speed this up! So we learn to use gratitude. And… why not try this as a science experiment just to see how you feel? There’s nothing to be lost by experimenting.

Note: This brings us to an old superstition that if you speak it aloud, it gets magnified. Not true. Maybe this was true before, but it is definitely outdated now. I know because I’ve been doing this exact practice with other things, this radical gratitude for tough stuff, for the last couple/few months. And I’ve seen some crazy things shift, in my own life and when I’ve done it on behalf of someone I know, like a friend or client. Literally like magic. It’s crazy, and it has really gotten my attention. This stuff definitely seems to work. I started this gratitude practice only this year, as I said, and now I see that it was preparation for using it on the coronavirus. A quick boot camp. And like many things, I learned it from Matt Kahn. And he learned it from the universe.

So make no mistake about it, saying “thank you coronavirus” sends light and awakening to coronavirus. And that’s exactly what we want. When we’re afraid to say it out loud, we’re back in fear. And that literally slows down time. Gratitude speeds it up. Which is what we want. Just give it a try. Because it’s here, and we have no idea how long it will be around. So why not try something that seems radical? Do your homework on gratitude, and you’ll see that most paths of spirituality or personal growth and development make a big deal about it. Let’s try it here and see if that’s actually true.

So what might we be grateful for about the coronavirus? Let’s try to find some things, which I mentioned in a previous post. It is causing the world to simplify. It is causing the world to slow down. It is causing us to connect more with ourselves (because when we slow down, this is what happens). It is causing the world to come together more. It is causing the world to find joy in simpler things, like nature. It is causing nature to be healthier. Check out the blue skies in China or the clear water and dolphins in Venice. It is causing us to re-examine our financial structures. It is causing us to re-examine our current manufacturing system (relying on China). It is causing us to re-examine toilet paper. The bidet crowd is feeling good about themselves right now, by the way… It is causing us to re-examine our health system. And it most definitely causing us to re-examine how we handle pandemics and novel viruses, which could save us if and when one comes along that’s a much bigger threat than this one is.

There are plenty more things to feel grateful for, and you’ll have examples that are specific to you. If coronavirus has brought about one good thing in your life, put it on the list. And this is why I wrote the last post about always focusing on your transformation when tough things happen. Whatever those things are, and the list will probably grow over time, they are things that you can feel gratitude for.

So how do we put this into practice? Pick one thing to be grateful for. Then with eyes open or closed, say, “Thank you coronavirus for [that one thing]. Thank you.” Then FEEL the feeling of gratitude in your body as you breathe in and out, this is important. Really let it flow. It might even start to feel like the cells of your body are taking an energetic bath; that’s the high vibration working its magic. Repeat this as much or as often as you like. Then go to something else on the list and do the same. There’s no right or wrong way to do it. But if you are saying this and feeling the feeling – that’s huge – you can know that something is happening. It feels amazing after a while – and powerful. That’s what I’ve noticed. It feels like you’re blasting a bright light on coronavirus and on the world, on this whole situation.

And you know what, what if none of that is happening? Then you’ve still just spent some time out of your head, in your body, and feeling really good. Yay! It sure beats the alternative. So we’ve got that going for us. So part of me doesn’t even care if this “works” or not. Because I feel better. But with this gangster gratitude practice that I’ve done with other things in the last couple of months, something definitely does seem to be working. It seems to be affecting the outer world, to the degree that it has really gotten my attention. Loud and clear. And I’m a math major! I’m really logical. So I would not just say that flippantly, because I know those are very big words. And again, you can always give it a try for two weeks or a month and see. Science experiment.

What if you’re having trouble finding something to be grateful for about the coronavirus (or anything that’s difficult in your life)? Here’s the last resort, and this is really cool. It will resonate with some more than others, though, so don’t force anything; you are always right where you are supposed to be. So when you’re having trouble feeling gratitude for something, you might be grateful for the fact that this is making you really dig deep to find gratitude. This is stretching you; it’s causing you to grow. And if it’s helping you grow, then you can simply be grateful for that. Isn’t that cool?

Another way I like to look at it is that you’re sitting there racking your brain to find something for which you can be grateful about the coronavirus (or anything troubling that you see). Well, look at you! If you’re even attempting that, then you’re very different from the rest of the world of 7.5 billion people. You’re a light worker, leading the way to A New Earth. You’re anchoring something that’s really good and something that’s really needed. YOU CARE! So you can be grateful that coronavirus is reminding you of what a caring person you are. And of how much you are interested in growing (by finding gratitude in something that seems awful).

So there we go folks, shining the powerful light of gratitude on coronavirus of all things. And on anything else as well. It dissolves them faster. And we feel better along the way, a win-win. And when fear arises, or anything else that’s not pleasant, we love. I’m proud to be a broken record about “loving what arises,” probably for the rest of my life. It’s the central tenet of the new paradigm, the new times, the new era, the new way. We alternate between gratitude and self-love as needed, and we heal super fast and our outer world transforms as well. It’s pretty amazing. And it’s truly my honor and joy to share this with you. And more to come as I learn and practice it. Much love to you, hang in there, love yourself through it, do a radical gratitude science experiment for a month or two, and as always, I’m here to help if I can 🙂

Corona 3: Focus On Your Transformation

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So we wrote about handling this unprecedented situation emotionally, moment-to-moment, in our first post. And of course we use our simple method of self-love that opens the heart, spreads loving energy throughout the body, and allows old energies to clear. Then we talked about the big shift of human consciousness that coronavirus is here to initiate. That’s the big picture reason, to the best that I know now, for why the universe has orchestrated this. Because everything is a gift, everything is an ally. At any time in our lives, whether there’s a coronavirus or not, we meet painful experiences with the question, “Universe, what growth is in this for me?” This is called seeing through the universe’s eyes. And it speeds everything up. Which is what we want.

I said that the next post would be about using a very gangster form of gratitude as a super powerful tool to help speed up this shift and return the coronavirus back to the light from which is came. Job complete. I realized that another post has to come before that, though. And it’s one that was already on the list. Because it’s so central to what we do. And that’s focusing on your own transformation, as I said above. I’ve talked about it plenty, but I haven’t phrased it quite like this before. So let’s talk about this some now.

When faced with challenges in life, always focusing on your transformation and growth opportunity is the way to speed things up, to get through the difficult experience and to the other side of it. It’s the way to learn your lessons and grow, and in a way in which life gets more and more exciting rather than scary. We stop asking, “When is the next bad thing going to happen?” Because we know that if it does, it can only be here to make me better! Fact. Isn’t that wild?? This is called trust in the universe. This is called surrender. And that’s what we’re here to learn.

Now, there’s that part of ourselves called the ego that I talk about, and I talk about it like it’s an inner child. Cute and innocent, but not who we want running your life. And that child isn’t exactly interested in growth, because there tends to be growing pains. It likes to be in charge, and it often likes for things to remain the same. But the universe knows about the shiniest YOU waiting up ahead in the future, the most amazing version of yourself that you can be. And what are the best circumstances to get you there the fastest? Your life, your circumstances, exactly as they all are right now. And this is always true. Why? Because the universe is so smart. And yes, this includes the coronavirus.

Where humanity currently is, in terms of the evolution of its consciousness, is a place where growth is often coupled with pain. Said another way, it often takes painful experiences and situations to force us to grow. I believe that we’re evolving out of that, but I wouldn’t say it will happen anytime soon. And if so, great! I’m all for it. This means that often we don’t like what’s happening, and often we don’t understand it. “Did I really have to get a flat tire today?” Apparently so… You get the idea. And when this happens, what do we do? As always, we love first.

There’s a very good reason why I’m always talking about “loving what arises.” When tough things happen that trigger us and we love that part of ourselves like a child in need, it literally heals that part of us. And the old energies of the emotional trigger get cleared out. This is what it feels like when the child inside grows up, into the mature adult of the soul. And the more you do this, the more you have that 20/20 hindsight that knows there’s always a good reason for what is happening. Because it’s just happened so many times – looking back and saying, “Oh yeah, I totally grew from that. It sucked but I’m so much better off now.” So you start to know it in real time rather than in hindsight later, “This is my ally; it’s here to make me better. Thank you.” And after a while of practicing this, surrender becomes more natural and you get triggered less. You simply have too many life experiences, too much data, that shows that everything REALLY IS here to help you. And the triggers become less of a big deal. “Oh, I guess there was more in me ready to be healed and cleared. Yay.”

Now let me be very clear that this coronavirus is a very, very big one! Good lord. So I’m not saying this is easy. But I am saying that if you look at it as an ally – and just give this a shot – and you ask how you can shift for the better, then you will have a better experience than you otherwise would have had. What’s more, it might even speed up how it negatively impacts your life. I’ve seen some really freaky (in a good way) stuff happen when people learn and practice this. It’s like it’s melting obstacles, because we’re getting out in front of our lessons and just going for the growth without being forced so much. Over and over again. I always say that I get to see this not only in my own life of living this way, but also in the lives of all the clients with whom I share and have shared this understanding. It’s truly amazing.

So let’s get right down to it. What shifts can you make? Just ask the question and breathe with it, and see what pops in your head. And if this question triggers you in any way, you love first! All good. Hand on heart and breathe and open. Then ask again, breathe, and listen. Maybe slowing down. Maybe simplifying. Maybe eating a healthier diet. Maybe cooking more. Maybe less alcohol or weed or pills or whatever. Maybe less caffeine. Maybe more exercise. Maybe keeping your house more well-stocked with toilet paper. Anything, big or small.

Maybe more meditation or walks to relax your body and mind. Maybe staying in closer touch with your friends and family. Maybe getting in closer touch with who you are as a soul (see: meditation or walks). Maybe better financial responsibility and more savings. Maybe being more civic-minded. Maybe being a better neighbor. Maybe a shift in your job, like if I use this as an opportunity to do more online group teaching rather than mostly 1:1 sessions in person. It can be anything! Focus on that, and you’ll be getting out in front of this thing. I’m telling you, this is how the universe works. This is why it does the things it does. I’ve just seen it and experienced it too much now. And I don’t always like it! I say that all the time. But I AM hell bent on understanding it. The universe must’ve put me in a package that’s not into pain for a reason, and that’s to figure all of this out and share it with you. We got this, and it’s always my honor and joy to be in a position to help.

So focus on your transformation first, focus on what this is nudging you (or shoving you) to shift. After that, you might focus on those around you. Like if you are a parent or a spouse. Can those relationships improve? Can the family unit improve? We’re talking about becoming healthier people, healthier couples, healthier families, healthier friends, healthier communities, healthier everything – and in every way. If we all do this, and very lovingly and gently (not rushing or beating ourselves up), let’s see what happens with this novel coronavirus. When the mission is accomplished, there’s no more need for the change agent. And why not try this as a science experiment for a month or two? Because even if what I’ve said about the bigger picture turns out to not be true, you’ll be a happier and healthier person than you were before anyway. With better relationships. So your experience will certainly be better than it would otherwise have been had you not shifted. So it’s a win-win! And I love win-wins.

So there we go, folks, we’re focusing on our own transformation – all the time. Again, I was already going to write this, because it’s so central to how we are learning to live. If something painful happens, first love yourself as needed and let the emotion clear to some degree. Then ask how it can make you better and shinier. See through the eyes of the universe; get out in front of it. Why did the universe orchestrate this? To make me better, always. When you don’t like it or don’t understand it, you love. And then you ask again. And we always ask and then listen. Something might float up or it might not. Something might float up three days later, when you’re in the car or in the shower. There’s usually more than one thing, too; that’s just how it works.

As you do this more and more, your life might just become more amazing than you could have ever imagined. This is real, folks, and I’m blessed with having a front row seat in the lives of so many people as they learn and practice this. We do have some healing and clearing to do first, though; there’s just no getting around that. Trust me, I’ve tried. And tried some more. The universe will win. But at some point you’ll begin to shift more into surrender, better at it than you were before, and when you notice this is feels good. “Bring it on, universe, because it will all only make me better. And I’m armed with a very simple yet powerful practice of self-love, so I’m covered.” So amazing.

Note: Matt Kahn’s second book is actually called Everything is Here To Help You. I got to write a preview of it here, before it came out. That was really cool. He even liked what I had written so much that he posted it to his Facebook page. I didn’t know he even knew about my article, and then a guy in India reached out to me. I asked how he found me, and he said on Matt’s Facebook page. What?? Awesome! I can be pretty persuasive if I believe in something, so I thought it was a fantastic post. Because I believe that book is worth the fifteen bucks or whatever a book costs. I mean, come on… So check that out if you want, and it’ll go into lots more detail than I have here. And you’ll get out in front of the universe more and more. And you’ll start to grow with less difficult experiences. Hang in there, and lots more to come. We’re in this together, and we’re going to get through it together. Change is happening, though; we’re being forced into it. But this is our destiny, as we move toward A New Earth. And as always, I’m here to help if I can. I have a very clean office and we can Zoom sessions, too. And so much love to and for you 🙂

Corona 2: The Big Picture Reason For This

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Woowoo alert on this one, and on the next several of these corona posts. But what do we have to lose? Always remember that I’m not a nut job, I’m a math major. Well, maybe that makes me a nut job… That’s doesn’t make me right, but I am a reasonably grounded person at least. And with material like this, if one little thing resonates with you then it can be huge; it can change your life. And I’m sure there’s at least something here that can help. And it might be big. Just be relaxed and open, and feel for that one thing. Here we go…

So my understanding is that humanity is in the process of moving out of separation and into oneness. That’s what evolution does. We’re evolving to what many call A New Earth, where it’s a much nicer place. An amazing place! Where people work together. Where they don’t step on each other so much. Where there’s plenty of food and resources to go around. Where people are healthy. Where the natural environment is healthy. There’s clean air, clean water, and abundant wildlife. Where people are joyous. Where there’s very little disease, and definitely very little mental disease. The list goes on.

Now, if you’re thinking that I’m talking about switching to socialism or communism or something like that right away, that’s not it. Those things could never work where we are now, at our current level of consciousness. I don’t know if this will be in tens, hundreds, or thousands of years. I have no idea. But that’s where we’re headed. Because evolution is just a natural thing; it’s a force that cannot be stopped. You can’t stop a tidal wave. And the evolution of consciousness is a tidal wave.

To see this, just go back in time. There used to be overt segregation. Before that, there were hangings in the town square. Before that, there were beheadings in the town square. A woman could be accused by any man of being a witch, for example, and with no trial or chance to prove her innocence, they’d put the vice on her head for all to see – as entertainment – and they’d tighten it until her head exploded everywhere. This used to happen, a lot. And speaking of entertainment, there used to be arenas filled with people watching a lion tear a person to shreds. As entertainment! Can you see that we’re very clearly heading in the right direction?

Now that it’s 2020, most of these things could never happen. They’re simply unthinkable. Why? Because we’ve grown, we’ve evolved. There’s still a ton of injustice and awful things happening, but it’s moved more underground. But that’s just how it works. It moves from being out in the open to going underground. As humanity continues to grow and evolve, injustice will be eradicated more and more. This is the big picture of what’s happening. It’s the evolution of human consciousness.

So how does coronavirus come into play? I believe that it’s a big kick in the collective human ass to get humans even more on track. It’s a quickening. It’s an acceleration of the awakening process. We’re being called to simplify. We’re being called to slow down. And this will naturally lead to people connecting with themselves more – their true selves. Connecting with their heart, with their soul. Right now we’re all running around without stopping. And there’s a light that’s inside of us that’s begging for us to stop and get to know it. Like it or not, and please know that I’m not a fan of people struggling like they are right now, but coronavirus is a big jolt that’s going to shift us in this direction of a higher consciousness. This is a very zoomed out view of what’s happening.

Regarding this light inside of us, always remember that I’m a virgo with two math degrees. I’m super woowoo and open-minded because I’m SO logical. I’m ridiculously logical. Some of my friends called me “Slide Rule” in high school. I’m very curious and open, though, so I’ve studied the near death experiences (NDEs) and out of body experiences (OBEs) a ton. And with no prior beliefs or opinion on the matter, just curiosity. And let me say that there’s a freaking mountain of evidence that what we truly are is pure, eternal light. And this universal light or consciousness is animating all the different bodies you see, like earth is one big Halloween costume party. But what we truly are is the aliveness of these bodies, not the bodies, not the characters. And that aliveness is ready for us to get to know it. The Self that we are can’t be silenced any longer, because it’s time for us to get to know our true Self to continue our journey to A New Earth. And it’s not an option. Remember, it’s a tidal wave.

As for resources for expanding how you see things, there’s a ton out there. I love books like Dying to be Me, Proof of Heaven, Many Lives Many Masters, and Soul Survivor. Check out the works of Dr. Raymond Moody, Dr. Ian Stevenson, and Robert Monroe. Read this stuff like it’s fiction, very relaxed, and just see what lands. And remember that if something feels true by at least 51-49, go with it. And make the old belief get back to 51%. Don’t wait. This will greatly speed up your journey. Don’t have any loyalty to your beliefs, because that’s how people hold on to stuff that’s just not even close to being true.

Note: What happened in Many Lives Many Masters has actually happened in my office. It was incredible. I was totally high-fiving the air. And one of the past life traumas my client was experiencing (and thus clearing) was the “witch” with the vice on her from above. It was nuts! Read about it here. And read about more of hers here. I think she experienced four or five of them in total. So cool.

The more you study this stuff, the more you see that spiritual awakening is real. You see that what you are now – YOU, NOW?!? – is literally an infinite being made of pure, infinite love. It’s so crazy to comprehend (which is why I stopped trying!). Since I talk about this stuff a lot, people tell me their stories that they don’t tell many people. I guarantee that you, whoever you are that’s reading this now, has either had an NDE or OBE or you know someone that has. Your NDE/OBE Kevin Bacon number is 1. Guaranteed. It’s just incredible. This. Is. Real.

So we’re in a world that has no idea about this fact of what we all really are. Many people do, but humanity overall does not. And this fact has said times up, it’s time to grow. It’s time to know what we really are. And the world will change as a result. Can you think of things you did when you were younger that you couldn’t imagine doing now? Something you weren’t proud of. You mistreated someone, perhaps, in a way that you could not do now. Why? Because you’ve changed, you’ve grown. It’s a different you. And one that’s an “up-leveled” version. It might even be something you did as a child. Something very selfish or foolish. And now you’re no longer a child, so you simply could not do that same thing now. It’s not possible.

We’re growing up spiritually, from spiritual child to spiritual adult. From spiritually immature to spiritually more mature. That child is the “ego,” which is that baby inside of you, that inner child that I talk about all the time. And the adult is the soul. Every adult was once a child, and all children experience growing pains. It’s part of life. And humanity is experiencing a massive growing pain now. This is just what’s happening. And coronavirus is the catalyst.

Please note that I’m not a fan of something this extreme. I think it’s a bit brutal. A bit? Understatement! Apparently the universe did not consult me on this, though. I’ve said this a lot – I’m not suicidal, but I can’t wait to be on the other side, when this body is done, to ask the universe, “Why do we do this earth thing?? Does it really have to be THAT harsh and painful and brutal?” Seriously, I’m very curious about that. And a huge party of my growth until maybe a year ago was healing the part of me that got so pissed off about it all the time. Because then I’m super angry and I’m still here. And I’m still seeing and experiencing lots of pain. I’ve come a long, long way in this regard, and I’m very happy and proud of that! And of course I used the self-love method that I’ve talked about for a while now to heal it.

Anyway, I just wanted you to know where I’m coming from. I’m happy for the big picture shift that’s happening now, but I absolutely feel for the world right now at the same time. And when I have my moments, I love that part of me that needs it. And then I keep on living, as simply as possible. As a musician, espresso connoisseur, and mostly non-cook, I have SO many friends that are in the service industry or the music industry. So this is tough for me in many ways. And lots of my clients have had to cancel because they’ve lost their jobs and can’t afford it. This might even be the catalyst for a shift in how I do things, in fact. Online classes that are more affordable, in addition to individual sessions. The funny thing is, though, that this is what I’ve wanted to do for about two years now, and it just hasn’t happened. The universe is in charge of the timing. So we’ll see how that unfolds.

This has been enough for now, I think, and I hope you got something out of it. I have lots more to share coming up, but we needed the big picture first. Just read, breathe, and be open. Let you body tell you what lands. Just be open and curious, with no pressure to know anything. It just works better that way, and you learn and grow faster. But this zoomed out understanding sets the stage for what’s coming next, which is a very radical form of gratitude. Yes, gratitude. For the coronavirus. Really? Really. It sends light to the coronavirus, which is what we want, and that speeds up this shift or growth process. Fear slows it down. So that’s coming soon, maybe tomorrow.

In the meantime, hang in there and simplify. Try to find ways to relax. My friend is a yoga teacher and she recommends lying down close to a wall and putting your legs up the wall for several minutes. And just breathe and relax and zone out. This relaxes your body and nervous system a lot. Blood flows the other way, which is healthy. It’s like an internal bath. There are plenty of things like that you can do. And of course love yourself through this as needed. And I look forward to connecting for more! I’m always here, and we ARE going to get through this. Done deal, I promise. And… I love you 🙂

Corona 1: Moment-To-Moment Self-Love Technique

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We’re experiencing some very crazy times right now with this coronavirus. Understatement, I know. I’m going to write a series of posts about what I know, and I hope they’ll contain some things that can help you right away. Even if they help a little, or if there is one nugget that resonates with you, it’s well worth the read. The first one today will be about what we always do first, and that’s loving the part of ourselves that needs it in any moment. Like when we’re upset in any way, any way at all, big or small. This lets those energies flow. The second will be about using gratitude – gratitude?? – yes, gratitude – to help speed up what we’re going through and to also positively affect your immediate circumstances. And the third will be what I know about the bigger picture of why this is happening, what the reason is. Because there’s always a reason. We’re trying to see things through the eyes of the universe, which we’ve talked about before. And note that we don’t have to like or understand the reason. And when we don’t, we love that part of ourselves on the spot. That always comes first. In exactly the manner described below. Here we go…

Remember that the foundation of this work that I’ve been sharing the last several years can be called “loving what arises.” And it’s really more like loving WHO arises. As in, what part of you needs love in any moment. When you’re scared, angry, sad, anxious, stressed, feeling insecure, unsure, inadequate, or whatever – it’s always only a part of you that feels that way. And trust me, I know that that part can feel like the whole thing! I get that for sure. I experience that as well. But it’s actually always only a part of you. And the essence of loving what arises is saying “I see you” to that part, the second it shows up. “I see you and I am with you. How you feel is valid.” It feels amazing after a while.

I’ve talked before about The Baby Analogy, where you view the part of you that’s triggered as a younger version of yourself. It could be a baby, your first grade yearbook picture, whatever. Cute and innocent. You only want to give him or her the biggest bear hug ever. If that works for you, then great. And if not, all good – it can just be a part of you without the “younger you” connection. The point is that a part of you is showing up saying it needs YOU. So what can you do?

One way is to close your eyes and put your hands on your heart and breathe. Then let the breath be a breath of love for that part of you – the scared one inside, the mad one, the sad one, the anxious one, etc. You’re saying, “I see you.” You’re saying, “How you feel is valid.” And it’s so healing. Remember that we don’t choose our feelings. Rather, they just show up and say, “I’m here, what are you going to do with me? Are you going to judge me or ignore me? Or are you going to love and accept me.” That part of you is asking to be seen, and it’s asking for respect.

Note that you don’t have to like it to love it – that’s huge. You don’t like your own child when he or she throws a tantrum in the grocery store, but the love remains exactly the same. As you’re rushing the child out of the store and away from the public! Loving it just means seeing it; acknowledging it is there and it is valid. I don’t love fear or anger or sadness, but I absolutely love little Ashley with a bowl haircut that feels that way! All day long.

Each time we do this, our heart gets healed a little – or a lot. And the triggered energies that have arisen are getting cleared each time as well. That’s why I like using the breath. And letting it be a breath of love that blasts your heart makes the breath so much more powerful. It’s so direct. It feels so powerful after a while, like a fire extinguisher. Like it’s filling a gas tank that was empty. Like it’s healing a wound. So huge.

Note that you don’t have to stop and close your eyes each time. You can do this anytime, anyplace. You can be at work and something happens that triggers you. In this case, maybe you have a cancellation or your boss cuts your hours or lets you go. You feel those triggered energies arise in your body. And right away, you catch them with that breath and you’re a big open space – open is key – for that to arise and to be. Your awareness says, “I see you and I’m here with you,” without even a word in your head. You can do this while face-to-face with your boss or a client or a friend or family member. And those energies are allowed to move and eventually be dispersed. If you’re feeling them, they’re saying goodbye on the way out. Otherwise they get stuffed down, they build up, and then they explode later – often on somebody who is innocent. Sound familiar? We’ve all done this before. Let’s take this opportunity to master it as best we can. We got this.

When you are alone later, and this could even be in your car (while it is parked), you might want to close your eyes and put hands on heart and really blast that part of you with love. And let the emotion flow. And it will. Remember that it’s being cleared out of you. It’s a good thing. You might even start and end your day doing this, even for just a few seconds. Times like these might call for such measures. And you know what? You’re learning to love yourself more and more. If you’re doing that, often things in the world end up working out for the better. I’m telling you, folks, I see it not only in my life but in the lives of all the clients with whom I share this. It’s really freaky sometimes. It’s amazing.

So that’s the first step that I practice myself and teach others, anytime we’re triggered. Whether we’re alone or not. Loving what – or who – arises. In times like these, of course we feel a wide range of emotion; that’s why this is so important to understand and practice. When we love what arises in this manner, we validate all of it and let the triggered energies flow. Then they don’t build up and explode, so our relationships are better. And often the outer world shifts as well. Hang in there with this thing, and there will be more to come in the coming days. We got this. Things will be changing, though, but for the better in the long run. I believe it’s all destiny. And we got this. We have no choice anyway. So hang in there and love that heart as needed, as your first and most immediate step. Talk soon.

Death, Doorway Into The Eternal Relationship Of Love

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Let’s finish up our impromptu series of February relationship posts with a talk about death. Death?? Yes, death. And let me say right away that I know there’s lots and lots of pain around death, and I’m not being dismissive of that with what I’m about to say. I know that pain well. Because this understanding comes from the passing of my own dad in 2002, which was extremely painful. But some really freaky stuff happened starting about a year later that gave me a whole new understanding of what’s really going on. And I learned – for real – that death is of the body. And… we are literally not the body. We are the aliveness of that body. And that aliveness could be called the soul. And the soul is real, and it is here.

Note: My understanding is that it’s not like there’s a “here” and a “there.” It’s more like it’s all here, but it’s vibrational. Think about looking through a camera and putting it in and out of focus. When you do this, what you see changes. But it’s pointed at the same place the whole time. Same thing with a telescope. An X-Ray telescope will give you a completely different image than a regular telescope that’s pointed at the exact same place. It’s all vibrational. So it’s all here. So interesting.

Also note: I wrote about death five years ago this month in a post called Is Death Really Real? This is an important conversation, and very healing in the long run.

So the invitation of death is to learn how to get to know the soul. Then when the body dies, the relationship doesn’t end, it changes form. This is because the body changes form, from a dense physical body to the light body of the soul. I’m telling you, this stuff is real! That new body is of a higher vibration, beyond what our eyes can see. Plenty of people can see, though, and they’re known as “clairvoyant” (which means “clear seeing”). By the way, there are lots of people with “extrasensory perception” out there. Those that hear are called “clairaudient,” those that feel are “clairsentient,” and those that just know things are called “claircognizant.” I’m in the latter two categories to some degree. And I’ve been told that my hearing is open, but I haven’t really explored it yet. I’ve only heard a couple of times when I was in that hypnogogic state, in between sleep and wakefulness. It was super brief and vague, but it was really cool. And it was definitely not my voice. Back to the story…

So what’s up with this soul thing? It’s a living presence of love, and it’s actually them! Think of their best qualities, their best essence, but without the baggage. And it was them the whole time they were on earth, but they were in a body and a character with a name and a past and what not, and they were probably lost in that like pretty much everyone else is. Innocently, of course. But they were actually this ridiculously radiant soul the whole time (and so are you, right now – amazing but true!). Think of the soul as the aliveness that animates the body. Think of the soul as a sun that shines light (love) everywhere, in all directions, without discrimination. Ahh, feels so nice… And I’ve been able to feel this love as a beautiful and not so subtle vibration in my body ever since that crazy night in 2003. Back to the story…

I remember when my dad was in the hospital for the last time and wasn’t leaving, his body finally succumbing to lung cancer. We were all there, and they have those machines with the vitals like heart rate, blood pressure, etc. And you could see them all declining. And then they’d rise a bit, and then decline some more. They were very clearly trending down. And at some point, you could tell the aliveness with just not there anymore; the soul had left. The soul is not the body; it is that which brings the body to life.

I was living in Palm Springs, CA at the time, so I was the last to arrive. My brothers were there, as well as other close family members. He was already toast at that time, actively dying, vegetable state, but when I walked in he started kicking his legs. It was so amazing. And damn, I’m writing this at a coffee shop with tears in my eyes now… That always happens when I think about this time. Anyway it was really amazing. And then that was it, the last one had arrived, and it was time to go. And off he went.

I can honestly say I feel even closer to him now, though – and we were always fine anyway! But he’s not in that body anymore, so there aren’t any bodily limitations. I talk and he hears me – anytime, anyplace. And I can feel him and his love anytime I want. I’ve gotten tons of signs. And dreams, too – the craziest one was just a few days ago, in fact. And I’m not even a big dreamer. I’ll talk more another time about what happened that night a year after he died, but suffice it to say that it got my attention, and it changed everything. My brothers have had really cool experiences as well.

So just consider that death is not the end of the relationship, but rather the beginning of a new relationship, a relationship with the living, loving soul. And it’s actually a very real thing. It’s actually right here with us and available to us. It’s just not in that physical body anymore. Talk to them, and ask them to help you get to know who they are now. Be honest with them, and tell them anything you need to tell them. I think talking to them is very healthy. If you’d like to study the research on near-death experiences (NDEs) or out-of-body experiences (OBEs), there’s a VAST amount of material out there. Like, a ton. Dying To Be Me by Anita Moorjani is an excellent place to start, and it has the miracle cancer comeback as well. The link is to the blog I wrote about it a while back. Highly recommended.

Since I’m known as a safe person to talk with about this kind of thing, people tell me their stories, stories they don’t tell just anyone. I guarantee that at least one person you know has had an experience like an NDE or an OBE. I’m here to help get this information out there more, as well as to normalize it. And to talk about it. Like we talk about sports or the weather. Why not? That’s how I roll, anyway. I just love this stuff. And not only is it super interesting to talk about, but the implication is that death does not exist. Freaking yay!! Again, the body dies, and that can be very, very painful. Understatement of the year. But praise the lord that we are not the body. And the relationship changes form, since their body changes form. And we ask them to help us get to know what they are now, that which is beyond any death. And thus death becomes the doorway to true LIFE. So amazing. So I send you love and healing and respect, especially if you are grieving at this time. And as always, I’m here to help if I can. And Dying To Be Me really is amazing, by the way 🙂

When The Universe Tests You With A Clone Of Your Ex

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Sometimes when we break up with someone that’s not good for us, the universe is very pleased. But it wants to make sure we’ve really gotten the point… So the next person that shows up is often similar to the ex, or maybe it’s a “lite” version. I see this a ton in my office, so I wanted to bring it to your attention. It’s pretty fascinating, if you ask me. And if you know what to look for, you’ll be just fine. Remember, what we’re learning to do is see everything through the eyes of the universe. “I’m onto you, sneaky Universe…” I love it.

The classic example I see is the sensitive and the narcissist. This is because my office is like a magnet for sensitives. This is true whether they’re in a relationship or not. But when they are in a relationship, it’s often with someone that’s narcissistic to some degree. And note that everything is on a spectrum; a spectrum of sensitivity or a spectrum of narcissism. So to say someone is narcissistic doesn’t mean they’re necessarily the worst person in the world. It can, though, and bless their hearts…

Also note that I’m not judging anyone for being any certain way. I know that we’re all on a journey, and we bring certain traits in with us. Other traits are imprinted on us long before we’re old enough to have any say. It’s been said, for instance, that narcissism is a result of emotional neglect. I don’t know for sure that that’s always true or not. But either way, I have respect for all souls that are here having this human experience, which can be so challenging. Understatement. At the same time, however, I’m absolutely all about helping the sensitives stand up for themselves and let the more dominant and disrespectful ones know what is okay and what is not okay. Let them know how they need and deserve to be treated. Back to the story…

Let’s just take an extreme example, someone finally divorces their abusive husband after many years. It took that long to stand up for what is right, for how that person needs and deserves to be treated. How ANY person needs and deserves to be treated. And how is that? With respect. So the person is free, and it feels amazing! And then… they start dating. And they’re dating someone that seems wonderful. And all of a sudden, they notice something. Something feels strange, something feels off. Something feels… familiar?? Something feels abusive. NOOOO!!!

It might not be straight up abuse; in fact, it’s probably something much more subtle at first. But it’ll still have the energy of abuse, which is disrespect. And the person’s feeling is, “That’s not okay with me; that’s not how I will be treated.” If we want to really nail it, we let the person know right away. And to me it’s easiest to let them be innocent (even if you really don’t like what they did – it’s just easier on you). You might say something like, “Hey, what you said or did is not okay with me. You can do that, but you’ll have to do that with someone else. And I hope you’ll grow to where you won’t ever do things like that. It’s time to up your game.”

Doesn’t that sound amazing? And doesn’t it FEEL amazing? And it’s doing two really important things. First, it’s about the sensitive rising up to embrace the masculine within, thus coming into more balance as an individual and shining a brighter and brighter light. Because there’s power in those words. It’s a firm boundary. And note that it can be said very matter-of-factly, with a “just saying” sort of vibe. In fact, the person has a better chance of hearing you that way. The more healed and cleared you are, the less emotion there will be, and that’s just a process. The unique and simple practice of self-love that we teach here is the best way I know to get there, but life will do it anyway. Being married to the abusive guy for many years, in fact, will have a ton of growth in it. It can be slow and painful growth, though, so we’re just speeding that up.

The other important thing that those words are doing is helping the other person grow. The universe does not want anyone allowing themselves to be dominated by another. The universe wants the sensitives to learn how to stand up and say, “NO. That’s not okay. You can’t do that to me. Ever. Shame on you. Up your game.” The person might seem to get it or not, but know that you’ve done your job. You’ve planted some important seeds, so it’s time to move on. The universe will bring that person who and what they need next. It can be a pretty brutal process, but this is just how it works. And we’re getting through it. Slowly but surely.

I had one client that saw me who had indeed been married to an abusive guy for over twenty years. And when she came to see me, it was because she was having concerns about her current boyfriend, of around two years. I helped her see that she deserved WAY more, and she was able to get out of that one. He wasn’t as bad as the husband, but it was still nowhere close to acceptable behavior. Husband Lite. So we went from twenty years to two, which is a major upgrade! But I also gave her this zoomed out view, so that she would be ready in case she noticed something that didn’t feel right with the next person she dated. Even on the first date. Kick him to the curb! Have high standards, because you need it and you deserve it. We all do.

Once that’s been done to a sufficient degree, putting up that boundary of what works and what doesn’t work for us, we tend to finally attract someone that’s in a totally different category. In the case of men, it might go from the abusive caveman type – bless their hearts – to a more sensitive one. One that is naturally more caring. One that just wouldn’t do some of the same things that the others did. Not that they’re perfect, but they’re just in a different category. This is because the learning with the others has been done. It’s like we’re always graduating to the next class.

So there you go, folks! I’ll bet most of you have noticed this in your own life or have seen it in people you know. If not, I’ll bet you will now. It’s really interesting. And even though it can be tough when you’re going through it, that’s mostly because you don’t have this zoomed out view of what is going on. And now you do. It’s been said that knowledge is power. And while I don’t know that that’s always true, it sure is in this case. So I hope it helps you! And definitely spread the word on this one if you see it in your life. Let’s take the smoother and faster way of growth rather than the slower and more painful way. And as always, I’m here to help if I can 🙂

The Pause, A Deeper Dive

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So we just talked about The Pause, the simple communication tool in which you pause before you speak. I actually wrote about it in 2013 as well. And we talked about how this allows a deeper and wiser YOU to respond, rather than your triggered emotions, your wounding. So it was mainly about the emotional aspect of The Pause. What I’d like to do today is get into the YOU that’s able to respond when you pause. You know, the wiser and calmer you. The more thoughtful you. The more resilient you. The more badass and amazing you.

Before we do that though, let’s really highlight that anytime you’re feeling emotion, it’s being cleared from your energy field. It’s saying goodbye on the way out. It’s a good thing. Always remember the post called How To Heal & Clear The Past, because it’s so foundational to our journey here as humans on earth. It’s literally part of your evolution and the job you came here to do. It’s big. So there.

And now, onto that part about what’s being accessed through the doorway of The Pause. Let’s just get right to the good stuff. The more you pause, the more you’re you’re getting into blank space. And what lives in blank space? The intelligence of the universe. Your soul. Your higher self. Pure consciousness. The Light. God. You could use any number of names, which are symbols, but they are all pointing to the same thing. And that thing is amazing. And that thing is what you really are, right here and right now. We have to get our wounding healed and cleared first, though – that’s the game. And the more that’s done, the more light and soul will radiate through your body. You will shine a brighter light, for the benefit of all. And it begins to feel really, really good. Isn’t this amazing??

So say you’re in a conversation, and it could be with anyone. There’s this amazing YOU that’s always there, but something happens and you feel some amount of triggered emotion rise up. In that moment, it’s come up to be cleared. The real YOU is still there, but it sure can be tough to access. The better you get at pausing and recognizing what’s going on in the moment, though, the easier that access becomes. In a split second, you are aware of a part of you that is angry, sad, scared, confused, or whatever. In a split second, you shine the light of your own awareness on that part of yourself (like it’s a child inside). “I see you,” says your awareness. “I’m here with you, I got you. It’s okay that you feel this way. We’re being healed and cleared right now, hang in there. I love you.” That’s what your awareness says to the triggered part of you in that split second. This is how healing and clearing happens. And you get better at doing this in the moment, in The Pause, which then gives you more access to that deeper part of you that can respond in the best possible way. It’s pretty amazing if you really think about it.

And how does that deeper part of you respond? Usually in a better way, with better word choices and a better tone. Not in a doormat kind of way, though, always agreeing and caving in to the other person. The words can still be very, very strong and direct, in fact. But they’ll be intentional and not reckless. And they’ll be more effective. People will tend to hear you better. Conversations will be less combative. You’ll actually get somewhere rather than spinning in the same old circles, over and over again. Wisdom will speak through you more. And is it YOUR wisdom? No, it’s THE wisdom. Literally the intelligence of the whole universe that you are connected to.

NOTE: Let’s pause – ha – to remind ourselves of something that’s very important, something that we tend to forget. A statement like, “the intelligence of the whole universe that you are connected to” might sound super woowoo or far-fetched. But it’s actually science from the early 1900’s. Yes, folks, over a century ago they discovered oneness, even at the physical level. We’re all living in a big ass sea of connected energy. What? This stuff is legit.

So in the blank space of The Pause, something can come through you that’s not personal, it’s universal. It knows you and it knows the person you’re talking to. It knows the details of the situation. It knows the details of all involved. And it knows what’s best for their growth – and yours. And it knows exactly what to say. But it needs space through which it can emerge. And that is why we learn to pause. Are getting why I said earlier that there’s more to this than meets the eye? So much more. And the beauty is that the doorway in could not be more simple. You pause before you speak. That’s all.

So there you go! I hope you enjoyed that. And read it again as needed, so that it can really sink in. Also look at times when you feel like this wisdom has come through you, as words out of your mouth. After all, it’s your birthright. And now as you practice The Pause, it might feel downright exciting. I mean, you’re healing and clearing your past so that the light of the universe and your soul can shine through you more. And the words that the universe wants to say in that moment are able to come through. This is big, folks!! And I hope it gets more and more fun. Because it IS fun. And we all deserve more fun, not less. So happy pausing! And as always, I’m here to help if I can 🙂

Relationships: The Pause

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Today let’s continue our February relationship talk with a simple but super powerful tool called The Pause. There’s a good chance you won’t do it, though, more on that below. But we’ll talk about it anyway. It’s there anytime you are ready, and it can give you immediate results. And it’s so simple! Because it’s simply pausing before you speak. That is all.

WARNING: There’s more to this than meets the eye! So don’t be deceived by the simplicity…

I wrote about this exact thing back in April 2013 in a post called Tool: Pause Before You Speak (apparently I like fancy, imaginative titles). That was seven years ago, so it’s probably time for a refresher. That post pretty much says it all, though, so I’ll let you read it for yourself if you’d like. The first thing to understand, though, is that it’s primarily about emotion. When you don’t pause, the emotion tends to do the talking. And when you do pause, a deeper and wiser YOU is able to respond instead. Which one sounds like the better option for your life?

You see, we are currently living in a world that’s super reactive. People are having emotional conversations that are like ping-pong matches, with their triggered feelings firing off back and forth, back and forth. It happens fast, with words just coming out of your mouth. There’s often very little awareness, very little choosing of words and tone. Who is doing the choosing? Your triggered emotions. “Is that what I really meant to say? Could I have softened it a bit? Was my tone what I really wanted it to be?” Then you add text messaging, email, and social media to it and people are pressing send or post or tweet when they should probably sleep on it first. And what is sleeping on it? A really long pause.

So how do we change this? How do we act instead of react? We pause. And then we speak (or write or whatever). Because a lot happens in that pause. It changes what you say from a reaction to an action. A reaction is when the emotion does the talking and responding, as we described above. And an action is when YOU do. The wiser you that’s always there, underneath the triggered emotion, watching it all.

Pausing before you respond, even for just one breath, gives you a chance to get deeper than the triggered emotions that have risen to the surface. And there really is a wiser, more thoughtful you that lives there. Another way to look at it is that when you react quickly and emotionally, it’s really your woundedness responding. Is that what you want doing your talking for you, your wounds?? Hell no! We learn to love our wounded parts so that they heal over time; that’s what this work is all about. But in the meantime, we train ourselves to realize that anytime we’re feeling triggered, it means our wounds are inflamed. So it might be a good idea to slow down and take some breaths before responding.

Also know that we can never do anything wrong by blowing up on someone or overreacting or whatever. It’s never a “right or wrong” thing, it’s more that we might not say what we truly wanted to say. And it might be taken the wrong way, and rightfully so. And we might have to do some cleanup later. Sometimes, in fact, we might even ruin a relationship. So we haven’t done anything wrong, per se, but letting it fly emotionally all the time might make our lives more difficult and painful than they really need to be. But hey, that’s our path, that’s our journey, and we’ll learn at some point! I’m just trying to help speed things up.

NOTE: Sometimes when you do blow up on someone, that’s actually what was needed to get their attention and crack their thick shell. I think I’ve talked about this before. So know that sometimes the universe actually needs you to do that. My clients beat themselves up all the time for this, those sensitives that are so mindful of doing everything perfectly for other people. But sometimes those other people don’t treat them with enough respect. That’s when some emotion and fire might be called for. I’ve talked about “sensitives rising up” before – it’s a huge thing happening now as the Feminine rises top to take its place alongside the Masculine – as an equal. And if you’re reading this, you might be a part of it. It’s mentioned in this post about a hypothetical guy that’s been acting like a jerk regarding his child support.

So now that we’ve covered The Pause, let’s talk about why you might not do this. Because this is actually really cool. And it’s also a preview of what we’ll probably be talking a lot about in the future. You see, there’s a part of you that doesn’t want to “just breathe.” Think of it as the child inside that we talk a lot about (this is also what the “ego” is, by the way – not an enemy or something bad, but rather an innocent inner child that still has lots of growing up and maturing to do). This part of you likes to talk a lot in your head and be in charge, and when you “just breathe,” it feels like it doesn’t have a job anymore. It feels like it’s dying. But it’s not! It’s just growing up into that part of ourselves that’s calmer and wiser, mentioned above. The parent. The adult. The soul.

So I just wanted to touch on that a bit here to normalize why sometimes a part of you does not want to “just breathe” before responding to someone or something. Especially when your body is burning with triggered emotion. But also know that this burn is actually a good thing! Because it’s old emotional energy that is leaving your system, saying goodbye on the way out. Yay.

So give The Pause a shot, and let’s see how it goes. Was your tone any different? Were your word choices any different? Even a little different is huge, because it is heading in the right direction. And if so, what were the results? Were they able to hear you more? To understand what you were trying to communicate? To see where you were coming from? Did the exchange go any better at all? Less combative? More on the same team, even when navigating a disagreement or a touchy situation? The more you practice The Pause, I guarantee you’ll get those results more and more. Just gently practice, and feel very good about yourself for doing so. You’ll also get triggered less and less over time, because you’re actually allowing that old emotional debris to be cleared out. And that’s a game changer. So happy pausing! And as always, let me know if I can help 🙂

Everything Is Relationship

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We’ve done great so far this month, folks. First, we took a very zoomed out view of intimate relationships in The Relationship Post. Then we talked about about how to know when a relationship has expired (according to the universe) in The Eviction. Those are both full of stuff that’s really important to understand, because the more you see relationships – and everything else – through the eyes of the universe, the smoother and more amazing your life will be. You might even find yourself naturally manifesting better versions of other people, too, when they’re around you. It’s really amazing how that can work. Anyway, another reason why these ideas are really important for us to understand is that… drumroll, please… everything you experience is relationship!

You’re in relationship with your home and everything that’s in it. You’re in relationship with your job and all the people there, as well as the office furniture, the printer (PC Load Letter Error, anyone?), the computer, the stapler, etc. Note: If you don;’t get those references, then you should see the movie Office Space. It’s amazing. Back to the story…

You’re in relationship with your car (if you have one) and all of the stuff in it. You’re in relationship with your plants (if you have any… I currently have two and I might get one or two more). You’re in relationship with your clothes. You’re in relationship with anything that you own or use. You’re in relationship with any person in your life. You’re in relationship with your SELF – that’s a central thing that we deal with here, because it’s like the hub of the wheel, from which the spokes emerge. And note that this includes any part or parts of yourself that you don’t like or that you’re ashamed of (often referred to collectively as The Shadow, and we love them, too).

You’re in relationship with your city or your geographical location. You’re in relationship with the foods you eat and the drinks you drink. You’re in relationship with your breath… That one is huge, and I’m sure we’ll have more to say on that later. You’re in relationship with your habits, your patterns, your addictions, and your dependencies (we wrote a lot about this last month in the Dry January post, the super general follow-up, and then the Dry Anything post after that). And not only are you in relationship with all of those things, but you’re also in relationship with your perceptions of them. And you’re in relationship with your perceptions of yourself regarding them, which is big because that’s where so much of our self-judgment comes in. And we’re clearing that stuff off the planet, people, we really are!

You’re in relationship with your emotions. You’re in relationship with your body. You’re in relationship with your mind. You’re in relationship with the universe, and the plan that is has for you. You’re in relationship with your desires. You’re in relationship with your hopes and dreams. You’re in relationship with your past, that one is big. Can you see how everything is relationship?

So what’s the point of all this? I have no idea… just kidding… So let’s apply what we talked about in The Relationship Post, which was primarily about intimate relationships. And let’s also apply what we talked about in The Eviction. Because just as with intimate relationships, you can look at these other kinds of relationships in terms of your growth and how much they’re helping you to thrive as a person. Are they in the “helping you thrive” category, or are they more stagnant or even soul-crushing?

And this doesn’t mean that you’ll always love everything in your life. You might not feel like your job is super amazing, for example, but it might be the best way that you know of – at this time – to support yourself and to pay the bills. If that’s the case, then don’t just get up and quit without a plan. But you might start to ponder other options, too. And ask the universe! Say, “Universe, thank you for letting me know if there’s a better job for me now. And thanks for helping me hear you.” Then you might surf the web or ask around about job options. But you know that the universe is in charge of the whole thing, so it doesn’t have to energy of, “I have to make this happen by myself.” That’s not what we want…

So we can look at everything in our lives, and we can gently assess how healthy the relationship seems to be. Does it seem to be vibrant? Stagnant? Somewhere in between? And one by one, we can ask ourselves if that relationship feels like it’s still good or if it’s time for a change. We can treat everything in this manner. And we can certainly feel into whether or not any evictions are underway! Those are the relationships that are just miserable. It could be your job, your car, your roommate, your house, your morning routine, you name it. And if it seems like an eviction is in progress, that the universe is saying it’s time to move on because there’s something better up ahead, then we can gently ask ourselves, “Then what’s the next step, what’s the next move?” And we see what comes up for us.

So there you go, folks, we’re taking our new, zoomed out view of relationships and applying it to everything in our lives. Because we’re in relationship with everything in our lives. When you see it this way, maybe it can simplify things for you. We gently ask ourselves – and feel int… How healthy is this relationship? Should it continue? Is it close to expiration? And we know we can’t do it wrong, because the universe will make it more and more obvious if we aren’t getting the picture. And the universe will never judge! We do plenty of that ourselves, and we’re getting out of that habit as well. So I wish you all the best with all of your relationships, and I’m always here to help if I can!