Flipping Desire

Posted Posted in Other Cool Topics, Spirituality/Religion

This is really cool, folks. We’re going to take another look at desire to see if we can have a totally different experience of it. And yes, it comes from listening to Matt Kahn, which I kind of do a lot these days… For like the last nine and a half months straight… Whoa, the gestation period of a human baby, interesting. Well, not straight, because when you’re full that means it’s time to take a break and let things integrate, let what you’ve learned sink in. After all, the slow way is the fast way. And then when you feel ready again, you pick up where you left off. And that’s how it works. It’s just like when you water the grass, if you keep watering for too long the water will puddle up; it needs to sink in before it’s time for more water. So many of us are shifting so fast – really fast! – and we need periods of rest and integration. Back to the story… Oh, wait – first let me tell you that this comes from Matt’s Becoming The Beloved retreat from October 2017 that I’ve written about that’s been on sale for $99. For sixteen hours of these ridiculous, transformational talks. Do it! Here we go…

There are many of us that tend to experience desire as lack, a reminder of what we don’t have. And that doesn’t feel good. The thought pops in that we want something, and then we feel bad because we don’t have it. We’re always practicing loving what arises here at A Clean Mind, so it can certainly help to love the part of us that feels this way; we always align with the breath first (fancy words for “take a deep breath”), and we love what arises. Giving some loving attention to the one inside that feels lack can never hurt, and it can even help you start feeling better immediately.

But let’s take it to the next level. And note that some Law of Attraction (LOA) folks will be familiar with this. I’d recommend putting what you know aside for now, though, so you can check this out with fresh eyes. I’ll address LOA a bit below, and I’m sure we’ll address it more later in a post called The New Law Of Attraction. Because we’re in a new paradigm now with new rules, so let’s start fresh. And anything you already know will still be there to pick up again anyway, so there’s no pressure, no risk. Back to the story…

So let’s experiment with something besides desire being an experience of lack. Let’s flip desire and let it be a good experience, a fulfilling one, rather than an unpleasant one. And this will happen energetically, because feeling is energy. And even when you do get what you want, it’s not the thing itself but rather the feeling of having it that you’re truly after. So even if you don’t have something physically, you can still have the experience energetically. What??

So actually feel the desire; feel that energy in your body. Let it flow, let it move. You might even close your eyes and imagine that you already have whatever it is that you want (and please, if you’re driving then either don’t close your eyes or pull over, thanks). When you do this, it can feel really amazing! Again, that’s because you’re having the same experience energetically. Then just go on about your day, with that nice feeling lingering.

This is where we have to be sharp, though, and this is where we’ll deviate from some of the LOA thought process. Because our foundation is that the universe is super smart and it knows what’s best for us in every moment (that’s actually the new law of attraction, by the way, that you’re already attracting exactly what you need for your soul to grow in the most efficient way). The universe is in charge of what I have and what I don’t have, not my ego (even if it’s a fancy spiritual ego like the one that’s unraveling in me!). The more we’re rooted in this understanding, the more we can let the feeling of desire be a fulfilling, positive energetic experience of having what we want. And then we just go on about our day feeling good and spacious. But the LOA stuff generally moves right into thoughts like this: “How do I make it happen? I need to get that. I need to manifest it. Why is it not here? Why is it taking so long?? Why do I suck at manifesting? Am I being punished?! Was I a major jerk in my past lives?” And that kind of thinking, even more subtle versions (I exaggerated to make it clear – but trust me, many people do think that way), feels awful.

The LOA folks tend to go right into manifesting mode, in which they need to do some work to make it happen, to bring what they want into reality. And then there’s judgment if it doesn’t work or if it takes a long time. But here’s the deal, it’s the ego that’s doing all that fancy dance, not the soul. It’s like having a five-year-old with the car keys, about to crank up the engine. Not the best plan! It’s totally innocent, so innocent, just wanting desperately to help. And it’s part of everyone’s journey (present company included, big time!). But it’s not the best plan.

So let’s shift to how the soul sees things. Because with the assumption that the universe is in charge – meaning it’s totally fine that I don’t have it, of course I don’t have it, because clearly I’m not supposed to have it at this time! – that game is all out the window. We don’t have to do that anymore. I’ve played that game, and I know for a fact that many people that do end up judging themselves mercilessly. They’re always needing this or that, and peace is nowhere to be found. Wanting it, and then enjoying the feeling of imagining having it, and then going about your day – that’s where the peace is. Wanting leads to more wanting; having leads to more having. Breathe with that for a bit, because it really blew me away when I first heard it. What we’re doing now is having the experience. And then we’re going about our day. Done.

Another take is that desiring something is a preview of what life already has in store for you. That’s pretty interesting… But you have to be prepared to receive it first, and sometimes that requires change. Maybe our desires, then, are what the universe uses to lead us into growth. So the preparation time can be long or short, and it has nothing to do with your manifesting abilities. This really is that separate post called The New Law Of Attraction, which we’ve pretty much covered already. So much more simple. When you notice a desire, shift right to the feeling of having it. But not to make it come to you (that’s the universe’s job), but just to have a nice experience in that moment. Then just go on about your day, knowing that you’re being prepared to receive it. And anytime a part of you shows up that says, “But I don’t have it and I want it,” just love that little one on the spot. And… go on about your day.

By the way, “little buddy” and “little honey” have become the names I’ve been using in sessions and in talks when talking about our heart, our inner child. And it’s become sort of a running joke, because it sounds so cheesy and ridiculous. But it works! So maybe that’s another blog post. And there might be another one called “Then Just Go On About Your Day.” Because that’s a big theme, too. Stop over-analyzing everything! And I will, too. Just keep moving forward. See how bad you can do it (because you probably can’t). If you really need a certain insight or thought, it’ll pop in much better the less you try.

So there we go, folks, the tale of Flipping Desire. Test this out and play with it. And here’s a final thing to point out that’s really important – there will often be a part of you that feels a burn when you make the choice to dive into the energetic experience. If not, great, but if so, then it’s just that little ego that thinks it needs it now. So… let it burn, a very loving burn. It’s just some innocent smallness in you that you no longer need. Love the burning one and move on. And in short time, those old energies will be cleared out and you really will start to have the nice energetic experience of having what it is that you want without any sense of lack. You’ll also become more rooted in the fact – FACT! – that the universe is in charge, not your ego, and it knows exactly what it’s doing. And your whole relationship with desire will change, because you’ve flipped it from a negative experience of lack to an experience that is fulfilling. And do you know what will happen then? You’ll just go on about your day.

More Honesty: Don’t Let It Go!

Posted Posted in Other Cool Topics

We recently wrote about honesty, and we talked about being honest with how our heart truly feels. Whether we want it to feel that way or not. As an example, we talked about how affirmations actually don’t work for many people, and it’s because there’s an issue with honesty. Nobody is trying to be dishonest; it’s just that they’re not fully acknowledging how their heart feels. And when they don’t actually believe what they’re affirming, the inner child calls BS, and that ends up not feeling good. And then we wonder why we suck at affirmations. Hilarious! When you know what’s happening, anyway…

The good news is that we can simply switch to an honest version of the same affirmation. So if “I have perfect health” feels good, then that’s fantastic. But if not, then just change it to whatever is honest and true for you in that moment: “I want perfect health,” “May I be blessed with perfect health,” or “May all beings have (or be blessed with) perfect health.” In each case, the vibration of ‘perfect health’ is being anchored more and more deeply in your mind. And since it’s honest, it feels good.

Another example came to mind, and it’s the old teaching of “let it go.” So let’s take a deeper look. What if you can’t let it go? What if there’s a part of you that just can’t seem to let it go? No matter how much you want to let it go, there’s a part of you that cannot do it! What do you do then? What most of us do is ignore that part. Or maybe we try harder to let it go, and we end up judging ourselves because it’s not working very well. Whether consciously or not, we’re denying the part of ourselves that’s having trouble. We’re ignoring it and insisting that we have to let it go. And when we do this, our heart gets pissed… And the inner child actually has the power to turn up the heat in our lives in an effort to get our attention – exactly like a child might do by acting out to get its parents’ attention. (We’ll be talking about this more in future posts, by the way, how the inner child is actually the whole universe dressed in a baby costume trying to get your attention; amazing, but true – and very, very powerful). So honesty is a very important part of our path, and again, I mean honesty with how we truly feel. We don’t have to like it, but we have to be an open space for it if we want it to heal and shift.

So once again it comes back to your heart, your inner child, and its deep need and longing for your acknowledgment and attention. Acknowledgment that you see how it feels and that whether you agree or not, you’re always going to be there for it with loving support. Acknowledgment that how it feels is legitimate. Notice how we’re loving what arises here? We’re seeing that a part of us just can’t seem to let it go – even if it seems trivial and we really want to be able to let it go! – and we’re being an open space for that part of ourselves. We’re saying, “I see that you can’t let it go. That’s okay, and I’m here for you regardless. I’m sorry that you can’t let this go, and I love you no matter what.” Can you feel how different that is? It sure beats Judgement City, in which we’re wondering, “What the hell is wrong with me; why can’t I let this go!!”

So there’s another example in case it can help. The new paradigm that we’re in is one of extreme honesty, honesty with our heart and how it feels. It’s like an innocent little baby, and it needs our loving attention and support… always. Whether we want it to be different or not. This feels better, and I’ll bet the external circumstances of your life will shift more as well when you think and act this way. And even if this feels difficult or strange or even impossible, you can absolutely learn how to do this. How do I know? Because I have! And I am. It just takes your willingness to gently practice, with no concept of success or failure and no time frame.

Before we go, let me make sure we’re clear that this has nothing to do with the outer world, nothing to do with the external. It’s all about the internal, your inner child and how it feels. It’s all about noticing how your heart feels and giving it some loving attention. So do what you feel is best regarding the other person involved or whatever the situation is that you’re having trouble letting go of. And often times what’s best is to take a timeout to love your heart. Postpone dealing with the situation if you can and tend to your own emotional needs. And then the “you” that will revisit the situation later will be a totally different “you.” An upgrade! And many times, the situation will change or shift on its own. It’s really cool how that works.

So give it a try, and as always, let me know if I can help. And now I will let this laptop go and go to the beach! I got some early season tanning work done a few weeks ago, but it’s faded. You know what they say, tone it or tan it! And I’m definitely not going to the gym anytime soon. I’m actually walking a bunch now; hey, baby steps. And honestly, even that is pretty awesome. Peace out 🙂


Posted Posted in Other Cool Topics

Let’s talk for a bit about something that not a lot of people talk about. And that’s honesty, but in a different way. You see, lots of people learn spiritual teachings (aka personal growth, self-help, etc.) that seem awesome and seem to help at first, but then they stop working. Why? In many cases, it’s because they’re actually being dishonest with their heart. So after a while, they don’t feel good anymore and the teachings aren’t really helping. Like affirmations. The idea is great, but it’s important that we believe what we’re affirming to be true. And yes, this is contradictory to many of the Law of Attraction (LOA) teachings. I’m going to write a post called The New Law of Attraction at some point, because most of us are in a different place now with a different set of rules. I’m pretty sure the whole karma thing isn’t for us, either, and that’ll probably be a future post. Just like the rules change as you grow from elementary school to middle school, high school, college, and beyond, they also change as you grow as a soul.

Once I gave a series of talks to a group of women, and we always took questions to clarify everything. One night, one of them said that her counselor had given her some affirmations to say everyday. That might sound great, but then she said that they always made her feel worse! I smiled, because I had noticed the same exact thing with myself a long time ago while doing – or attempting to do – a similar mantra practice. I told her she felt bad because she didn’t believe the mantras. So deep down a voice was calling BS each time she said one. The dialogue might go something like this, and it’s really pretty hilarious:

Her: “I am powerful.”

Inner Child: “Bullsh*t.”

Her: “I am strong.”

Inner Child: “Bullsh*t.”

Her: “I am the Light.”

Inner Child: “Bullsh*t.”

Her: “I am abundant.”

Inner Child: “Bullsh*t.”

In calling BS, the inner child is simply saying, “I don’t believe that. You can’t fool me, so why do you keep trying? And when you say that stuff, it’s like you’re ignoring me and how I truly feel. Do I even matter to you?” Ouch. Because I’m finally learning that it’s all about our heart, all about the inner child. If the inner child ain’t happy, you’re never going to be happy; not for long, anyway. Because the inner child runs the show, trust me on that. I know, pretty crazy! But the inner child will win in the end.

So how do we make the inner child happy? By being super loving and attentive towards it, of course, as we’ve been talking about for a while now. It’s called loving what arises, and it encompasses your feelings and your thoughts. Pretty cool… But we also make it happy by being honest. Honesty with our heart is very, very important in the new paradigm that we’re in. If “I am abundant” just doesn’t feel true, then say “I want more abundance,” “I wish I had more abundance,” “May I be blessed with abundance,” or even “May all beings have abundance.” Those feel good. Why? Because they’re honest. And your heart values honesty over trying to fake it ’til you make it. Plus, it’s still bringing the vibration of abundance into your subconscious mind. In fact, my understanding is that saying those statements anchors the vibration of abundance into your subconscious mind equal to saying something like “I AM grateful for my abundance.” So just go with whichever is most true and know that it’s doing some powerful work for you.

So let’s always start where we’re at, so to speak, by being honest with our heart. Honest with how we feel. Honest with what we want. Honest, honest, honest. That’s very important, and it’ll start to feel really good. Trying to BS ourselves or BS the universe had its time, but that’s part of the old paradigm that we’re no longer in. So I wanted to address it here. Hopefully I’ll write about more examples as they come up so this can be more clear. But maybe you get the idea for now. You can say things like, “I want to be nicer to myself. I want to love myself. I want to treat people more lovingly.” That’s all honest, and it’s starting to anchor the things that you want into the subconscious mind. And that’s probably our next frontier, by the way, anchoring what we want in the subconscious mind. I’m not fully there yet, myself, so that’s still in the laboratory, so to speak. In due time, in due time. I’d say we’re at a pretty blazing pace anyway, though, so all good.

So there you go, take a look at how honest you’re being with how you feel. If you’re not being honest, it probably comes from an innocent place – like you wish things were different. But when you’re honest with your heart about that, you might start to feel better before things change. And that’s pretty powerful. So happy practicing, and again, I’ll write more examples as they come up. In fact, I think I have one that just popped in. Until then, peace out!

The Energetic Vacuum Cleaner

Posted Posted in Other Cool Topics, Spirituality/Religion

There’s a phrase I’ve been using in my sessions that I’d like to introduce you to, and it’s the Energetic Vacuum Cleaner. And since I often like to shorten things up, we can also call it the EVC. And I can never remember how to spell “vacuum,” by the way – such a weird spelling. I always start with two c’s, but then I remember how weird the word is spelled, so clearly there has to be two u’s, because that’s super weird. So it ends up being “vaccuum,” but then it looks like something’s just not quite right. I’ll bet I’ll remember it now, though, since I’m writing all of this ridiculous stuff about how a random word is spelled. So go with your ridiculousness, people! Don’t hold back. Unless you’re at work… don’t get fired or anything, and if you do then please don’t blame me. Back to the story…

So we’re all carrying around old “stuff.” Which means old feelings. Which means old frequencies, or energies. A phrase I love is “emotional debris.” And what do we use to clean up “stuff?” A vacuum cleaner. So it sure would be nice to have an energetic vacuum cleaner. Well, it turns out that we do have one! What is it called? Life. The universe. More specifically, it’s when crappy things happen to you… Yay.

Remember the post not too long ago called Another Spilled Smoothie? That’s the EVC in action. When you’re triggered and you’re doing your best to just let it burn, remind yourself that the EVC is literally sucking old stuff out of your energy field, stuff you no longer need or want. You’re being cleaned out in that moment, so just surrender and let the process happen. Thinking this way might even make it so it’s okay and you’re less annoyed. And after a while, you might even like it! That’s some crazy stuff right there… But it can totally happen, because now you’re reminding yourself right away that it’s the ego unraveling and burning away, and emotional debris is being sucked from the cells of your body. Those are both very, very good things right there.

Also – and this is HUGE! – know that sludge is only leaving when more light or soul is ready to inhabit your body. You see, when more of the good stuff (your soul) is ready to enter and make a home, it needs some space. Yep, some ego needs to go. So the soul has the universe trigger you to kick in the EVC. The EVC sucks out some sludge, burning up some ego and carving out space for the light to enter. And as this happens throughout your life, you feel better and better. And life gets more and more magical. Isn’t that freaking cool???

So there we go, good folks, the Energetic Vacuum Cleaner, or the EVC. And you know what? I spelled it right the first time! And this is a short blog post. I could get used to this. Probably not, though… Anyway, much love to you and whatever is going on in your life. And as always, I’m here to help if I can.

I’m Going To See Matt Kahn Again!

Posted Posted in My Stories, Spirituality/Religion

Hello, great folks. As you may have noticed, about three months ago I had quite a profound time at my first Matt Kahn retreat. So… I’m going back! It’ll be next week in Portland, Oregon. I lived there briefly with my younger brother about ten years ago, so it’ll be nice to return. I also have some old friends from Pensacola there that I’ll be able to connect with. There won’t be a whole lot of free time, though, because the hours are pretty long. But that’s okay, because after all, that’s why we’re there. This one will actually be about twice as long as the first one, so it should be pretty crazy. I’m very psyched!

I think we’ve had a pretty strong run of posts since I got back from the last one, so who knows what will go down next. I have several partially written posts that I’d love to finish before I go, but no pressure. I just love where we are, though. I think we’re really ready to deepen and deepen into this new paradigm of loving what arises and understanding that the universe is always serving our highest growth. Even when it’s painful… And as I always say, I have absolutely no idea why the super bad stuff happens to people that don’t deserve it. But I do know that we can heal and thrive, so we focus on that and move on (because we don’t really have a choice).

Something else that I’d like to share here is another way to differentiate the old way from the new way. This is something that I learned recently from Matt, and it makes a lot of sense, makes it really clear. If you really think about it, the old way of growth has traditionally been very masculine. There’s lots of work and effort, spiritual work, personal growth work, however you want to phrase it. And at some point, this usually takes lots of personal will to get it right and do it right and try harder if you don’t. And of course this inevitably leads to lots of judgment, mainly against ourselves. There’s also usually an enemy to defeat, which is also a very masculine idea. It could be the ego, the mind, the lower chakras, feelings, resistance, habits, patterns, etc. I’m not saying that this masculine way is wrong or bad; rather, for so many of us it’s just no longer the time for it. So it’s ineffective; it’s no longer working. It had its time and place, and that time has past. It’s still the right path for many people, but not for anyone that would be reading my stuff! For us, it’s time for the feminine to rise up and take its rightful place. And if you’re curious or confused, just ask yourself if those masculine ways are still working. If you’ve ever thought you weren’t working hard enough, then I have good news for you – you weren’t supposed to be! You were in the wrong classroom, innocently blaming yourself. And this is the right classroom for you. It’s a totally different ballgame. I mean, are you truly at peace? If so, then great! But I know for a fact that most people are not, and they’re trying soooo hard. Then they wonder why their spiritual tricks aren’t working anymore, and they get into the judgment and blame game. I’ve been the king of that, and it’s not very fun…

So what’s this more feminine way all about? Loving what arises. Whatever arises, love that. And we aren’t in control of what arises; the universe is. It could be anger, jealousy, sadness, fear, stress, insecurity, etc. As we notice a feeling (or thought), we trace it to the one inside that feels (or thinks) that way. And who is that? You guessed it, it’s the inner child. That little dude (or dudette) is using those annoying or painful feelings or thoughts to get your attention, saying, “Hey, I need you now.” So we give it an inner embrace, an inner hug, an inner “I got you, I love you, I’m here for you.” Right there on the spot. And then we go on about our day, as is appropriate. We’re being an open and loving space for whatever arises, and that‘s how we heal.

And again, the intelligent universe is in charge. That’s more feminine, too, because now you don’t have this intense inner boss trying to run the show (of the peace and healing that it can literally never comprehend!). The universe knows the order of the most efficient path for you, not the inner boss. Heal (i.e. love) this first, and then that, and then that, etc. And we might wonder if this is ever going to end! So we immediately love the one that’s concerned. But at some point, we start to feel better, and more confident. We start to get the sense that the super sensitive child in our heart is toughening up, is feeling stronger and more grown up. Why? Because we’ve learned to be its nurturer and protector by loving what arises. And this feels good, very good. That long line of who needs love is starting to get smaller. Amen.

This more feminine way is actually very balanced. We’re not afraid to do any work we have to do, or address what needs to be addressed, so the masculine is always on call (and if we do notice that fear, we love it by loving the one inside that’s afraid). But bringing in the feminine is the name of the game now, and it’s so powerful! How do I know? Because I’ve been experiencing it. And it’s so cool… I’ve been experiencing it in my sessions with clients as well as in the talks that I love to give. And in regular interactions with people, too. I’ve been bringing more space into all of these situations and interactions, slowing things down, and it’s been getting more and more powerful. Deeper. You can feel it. So cool. And the good news is that this is totally not natural for me! So there’s hope for all…

So there we go! Just a little update. And it’s always my honor to pass this stuff on. I’m seeing with the clients that are finding their way to me that my role is pretty clear: to be one of the ones that’s ushering in this new spiritual paradigm. It’s just such an honor and privilege to share this. It’s really the best job in the world, because I’m seeing how needed it is. These beautiful and innocent souls have been coming in, and they’ve been working and trying their asses off. And they’re not at peace and they’re crushing themselves for it. And life just doesn’t make sense. And then when I share what I’ve been learning and experiencing, things feels so much better, often right away. Things get simpler. And the journey starts to make sense.

There’s a good bit of this new stuff that I haven’t shared here yet, because to be honest I don’t know how at this point. It’s more of the big picture “why” sort of thing, and it’s definitely getting further into woo-woo land. But I’m obviously a major woo-woo (because I’m so damn logical and have studied so much, like near death experiences and quantum physics, without a prior belief system to adhere to), so it’s only a matter of time. So we’ll see how that shakes out. I’m pitching a really cool talk to give around town now, and it’ll explain everything. So if you’re local, be on the lookout for it. And in the meantime, take care, and love that “little buddy” or “little honey” in your heart as best you can. And if that seems difficult or impossible, try your best to love the one that can’t love yet; that’s your doorway in. And as always, let me know if I can help. And I’ll see about those partially written blogs posts… And then Portland! OMG……. Peace 🙂

The Slow Way Is The Fast Way

Posted Posted in Client/Friend Stories

I’ve found myself saying this a lot this year, “Just let 2018 be about [insert whatever we were talking about, usually loving what arises or understanding that the universe is always happening for our soul’s growth – and note that I definitely do not understand why super awful stuff happens].” So we relax and let 2018 be about this, no rush. As in learning it, practicing it, deepening it, getting used to it, shifting it, doing it, etc. We’re really slowing down and relaxing into the shifts that we want. Because you know what? The slow way is the fast way. And please know that I’m totally not wired this way! I came out of the womb quite the opposite, in fact, so I’m finally starting to get it myself. I want it now, but peace just doesn’t seem to work this way. I know because I’ve tried… a lot… It’s pretty funny to look back on, now that it’s finally shifting.

A big part of this shift involves going with the assumption that if the universe is so smart (and I think we can agree that it is), then if we were supposed to be different, or “further along,” then we would be. The other assumption, which I now well, is the opposite. And it feels terrible! It’s that moving finish line that we’ve talked about before, where we’re always not where we’re supposed to be, not quite there yet. We’re always behind, working on stuff. We should always be better or different in one way or another. And that feels awful. Why? Because the body is telling us that it’s not true.

One of the most advanced things you can do as a human is to simply be where you are. With all your perceived flaws, inadequacies, quirks, habits you don’t like, or whatever. Allow yourself to be as you are. Because how do you know you’re supposed to be different?? I mean, seriously! The universe can create galaxies and turn an acorn into a massive oak tree. An acorn. Some of the same math is found in the design of the largest things, like galaxies, and the smallest, like atoms. As well as everything in between, including all over your your body and in plants and animals. (Look up the golden mean or the golden ratio). What?! Amazing but true. And wow, that’s pretty smart! So don’t you think it can handle shifting you if it really wanted to? But here’s the thing, it actually is shifting you all the time, but usually in a pretty relaxed, loving, and gentle way. And when we allow ourselves to be where we are, how we are – when we fully own and accept that this is exactly how things are supposed to be – then we can settle into that nice flow. And we finally start to find some of that peace we’ve been wanting (or chasing). And then the shift we’ve been wanting can happen more naturally. Yay.

NOTE 1: As I’ve said a bunch, I’m still working on understanding the shifts that aren’t so gentle, like trauma and tragedy. Still, though, we can use loving what arises, which is the cornerstone of what we do here, to move ourselves through it. And that will make a huge difference.

NOTE 2: I was on the local news right after Christmas talking about goals, and my suggestion was to be nice to ourselves first. That’s Goal #1, and after that we can think about the gym, diet, or whatever else. When we’re nice and loving rather than mean, then those things will happen naturally over time. But I also said to be smart! If you’re doing something that’s dangerous or that’s killing your body, or if you’re in jeopardy of losing your job, finances, relationships, etc., then you might need to be more forceful. And get some help, too; there’s lots of help out there. So that kind of extreme stuff is not what this is about. That’s common sense, though. If the doctor tells the alcoholic that s/he could be dead within six months due to liver failure, then it might be time to stop drinking. Do what you have to do, and with the help you need, to stop. You get the idea. Back to the story…

So give this a shot. Slow down and own whatever you don’t like about yourself. Own it and relax about the whole thing. How do you know you’re supposed to be different? If that’s really just an assumption, and it feels bad in your body, then pick another assumption! How about this one: Maybe I’m supposed to be exactly as I am now, and I’m knocking it out of the park. I get an Oscar for my performance as me. Because the universe is so smart that it must want me to be this way. And it’s okay if I don’t understand everything now.

Also remember that earth ain’t easy. This is simply NOT an easy place to live, and you’ve actually been doing your best. And yes, my best has sucked before, too. So has everybody else’s, and that’s life. And the more we slow down and accept these things and see that maybe the past is how it was supposed to have gone down, we start to feel better and lighter. And we actually shift faster. And peace begins to become our reality, a very subtle reality that gets stronger and stronger over time. Wow, the slow way is the fast way. So… peace out! And as always, let me know if I can help.