So… Is This a “Guy Thing?”

Hello, good folks 🙂 What I’m about to do here is way out of the norm for me, for reasons that you’ll see. And I mean no harm to anyone, I really don’t. Not the normal beginning to these blog posts! No assumptions about anyone I don’t know, and no judgment whatsoever. Literally. This is all a big hypothetical “what if…” And then we’re going to learn some important and amazing things, because it all ties perfectly into a topic that I’m sure we’ll be covering plenty this year – because it’s a thing! It’s a huge thing now on the planet, and it’s not going anywhere anytime soon. And that topic is – The New Man.

The caveman days are past us, folks, and it’s time for the masculine to step it up in terms of its evolution. And it’s starting to happen, it really is, despite the awful things you still see, hear, and experience. Now, let’s get super general… The masculine evolves by allowing its feminine aspects to come into proper balance. And the feminine evolves by allowing its masculine aspects to come into proper balance. You can read a couple of posts from 2015 that talk about the New Feminine: Insecure, Codependent Female? Not Anymore… and Women Rising Up! And apparently now, almost five years later (yes, the feminine is totally more advanced), it’s finally time to address the masculine. Why? Because of this “random” post I saw on social media the other day… Seriously folks, the universe works in mysterious ways.

NOTE: I think I’ve said this before, but I use the terms “masculine” and “feminine” rather than “male” and “female” because we’re talking about qualities. Bodies can be anything, since all beings – in whatever flavor of bodies they’re in – have both masculine and feminine qualities.

So basically, I’m responding to a social media post that a friend made about her baby daddy. But it’s so classic; I see this in my office all the time. That’s why I’m responding to it. I immediately realized that my readers can benefit a TON from this, especially the sensitives and people pleasers out there that let others treat them disrespectfully, and the people that don’t want to put up a boundary because it might not be “nice.” Even when the universe is screaming at them to do it. Sometimes the universe needs you to get a little mean to get a person’s attention, and to put up a damn boundary, and a firm one at that. “Sensitives Rising Up” is a huge thing that’s happening on the planet, and it’s been happening for a decent while now. It describes most of my clients, by far. And me! So this is really good stuff. And note that “Sensitives Rising Up” is really the feminine allowing its masculine aspects to come up and into balance (i.e. the evolution of the feminine). I just love this zoomed out way of seeing things, don’t you? It’s so simple and clear. So this post will talk about the evolution, the future, of the masculine and the feminine, all rolled into one. Yay.

Now for the big disclaimer: I do not know the guy that’s involved. And I’m aware that I’m hearing only one side of the story, although it seems to be pretty honest and based on mathematical facts, as you’ll see. So let’s literally act like this is a fictional story – that way we can glean all the gold nuggets we can, and without getting bogged down by whether a specific detail is true or not. Because this is a blog that’s designed to help people, and I think this story can help a LOT of people. Or else I wouldn’t touch it with a ten-foot pole! Because I’d hate to disparage someone that I don’t know and be wrong about it. I’m not into that. But this is just so rich, and with such common themes that I see all day long in my office, that we have to milk it for what it’s worth and learn. So here we go… And did you like my tip-toeing there? I don’t have a legal department, so I’m doing my best…

So I saw this post my friend made, and she was taking a survey. She has a young daughter, it sounds like middle school or so, with a man. She and the man are no longer together (I don’t know anything about their history). There’s no legal arrangement for who pays what, and it sounds like my friend is paying for way more than he is. That’s the math that I’m talking about – either it’s true or it isn’t. Let’s try to keep this as simple as possible and stick to the facts. She said they “split rent and bills,” and then she pays for everything else. That includes insurance, as well as clothes and shoes. It includes extracurricular activities, including ballet and tap, and soccer. Each of these activities has its own kind of shoes and uniform, and for a growing girl at that. My friend said she even paid for their daughter’s last birthday party, and with no assistance. None, zero, zilch. Not a penny.

She said that when she’s tried to get more financial help from him, he’s made it very hard to actually get the money. She described her last attempt as a “wild goose chase,” having to eventually get it from a third party, weeks after it was due. She says she has envelopes full of receipts and bank statements, all for naught. She also said he hangs out at a local bar like five nights a week. I’m not judging the act of hanging out at a bar, not even every night, but I am pointing out that if that’s true, it costs money. So my friend says she goes without, pinching pennies, stressed out, even asking her own friends for their hand-me-down clothes – all so she doesn’t have to deal with this guy by asking for his fair share. She works and goes to school, and he works a lot. He tries to reason out why he’s right and she’s wrong (classic over-masculine… don’t fall for their “debate champion” techniques). But to me it’s just math. It sounds like it sure is in this case, anyway, because their lifestyle definitely doesn’t sound excessive. Not even close.

She says that her daughter loves and benefits from the extracurricular activities, as do most kids. Because it’s really, really, really healthy. And for so many reasons. There’s the learning of the skill or activity itself, along with creative expression that nurtures the heart and soul, social interaction and development of social skills, physical activity that’s good for the body, confidence, hand-eye coordination, balance, etc. She said she’s written all of the expenses down, divided the amount in half, and she gets nothing back except for his cruel, demeaning words and defenses. He even says she’s “nagging” him, and he says their daughter doesn’t need any of that stuff. And then he goes to her recitals and soccer games. Come on, bro – you can’t have it both ways. If this is even remotely true, it’s just math. And it doesn’t add up. Is that what “fuzzy math” means? Just sayin’.

She said he’s also blamed her for getting pregnant in the first place… ouch. What’s more, she said he’s done his best to manipulate their friends to get them on his side and to even think she’s a terrible person. And it’s worked to some degree! Maybe even to a large degree from the sound of it. So she feels lonely and isolated, with these people that were her friends now thinking she’s no good. And he gets to keep the friend group. I’ve seen this a ton, too – it’s classic narcissist, just do a quick bit of research. And know that those aren’t true friends, by the way. Yes this sucks, it’s painful and hurtful, but there absolutely must be higher caliber friends out there. And as you’ll see below, it sounds like a lot of these people are in the yoga community. If this is true, even to some degree, then it feels very shallow for what true yoga is about. More on that below, because we’re going through an evolution of the spiritual world now, in addition to the evolution of the masculine and the feminine (and everything else!). And that’s really the reason I’m here. Back to the story…

So she posted the question, “Is this just a guy thing?” She’d heard that before, but her heart said no way, that’s crazy! So why not take a survey? And the answer from those that responded, which is super obvious, was… “Oh Hell No!” So let’s try to break down what we can learn from this. First is the “Oh Hell No!” part. If their lifestyle were extravagant and excessive, as I said above, then I could see some objections. But not to birthday parties, insurance, and basic extracurricular activities. Not to clothing and shoes (and I’m guessing everything else that the daughter wears or uses, aside from “rent and bills,” such as toothpaste). So we’re very clear there. No way, it’s definitely not a “guy thing.”

Next, let’s talk about something that really fires me up. Okay, the final thing fires me up even more, because it ties into my true life’s purpose as stated above, so let me simmer down a bit… Ahh, that feels nice. Okay, the next gold nugget gets into the “Sensitives Rising Up” theme that I mentioned earlier. Many commenters asked why she didn’t just take him to court? After all, that’s exactly what the court system is for, so use it. And what did she say? “That would be mean.” She doesn’t want to do that to him. Umm… To my friend, I love you. But I’m going to blast away a little bit here. Because this is a huge thing on the planet now, and it’s time for it to come to a damn end…

Wait! Let’s soften a bit first, with some love (see the feminine rising up to balance the masculine that was ready to blast away – this is what I was talking about above, so cool). First, let me say to all the sensitives and people pleasers out there – and I’m actually one of you! – THANK YOU. Thank you for caring about others. Thank you for caring so much that you would put others before yourself, even others that treat you disrespectfully. Thank you. And I truly mean that. Some people hurt others – intentionally – and then they actually feel good about it. Read that again and let it sink in. Could you even imagine doing that to someone? Intentionally?? No way, and you know it. Can you see how different that is?

So thank you, and we need more of you on the planet. But know that the universe is also forcing your hand at rising up, having a backbone, having a spine. Being strong, putting up boundaries, saying no. Saying that’s not right, that’s not okay. Saying, “I deserve respect. I deserve to be treated well.” Getting a little bit mean when needed. And even taking someone to court if the universe is simply giving you… no… other… options... Feel into it and do your homework on what that would entail, because maybe that’s your next step. Remember that we’re always looking for just the next step, not the next twenty years. So whatever it is, do it. Do your research, do your homework. And get a little bit mean. It’ll feel good and appropriate after a while…

Wow, that felt fantastic. As we softened by letting the feminine arise, the words that came out described how it’s time for the feminine to stand up by letting the masculine arise! That’s so cool, the ole flip flop. Now let’s address the “mean” part. Is he being mean? Taking someone to court after all.. of… this… dragged… out… ridiculous… unfair… nonsense… IS NOT MEAN! It’s right. And get this, is he growing by being allowed to act like this? No way. And will he grow if he’s forced to “man up” and take better care of his daughter by paying his share? Yes, absolutely!

NOTE: What we just did there is huge – we shifted to seeing through the universe’s eyes, and asking what the universe wants. Because that’s the real question, in any situation. And it always wants growth and transformation for all involved, so that we can all shine a brighter light on the planet. More on that below. But a very important shift.

Taking someone to court, even when he’s forced your hand (read: the universe has forced your hand, and for the growth of all involved), might seem mean to you at first. But he hasn’t listened, he hasn’t done the right thing. Over and over and over. He’s basically said, “You’re going to have to be meaner to get my attention.” And for a sensitive, this can be very painful! But it is time, because it sounds like you really have no choice. And this is exactly what I’ve helped so many clients with over the years: “If you think that’s mean, then get mean, dammit! Please get freaking mean!” And I absolutely love it, helping these beautiful souls find their inner strength 🙂 Because it’s not mean at all; it’s strong, it’s right, and it’s fair. It’s tough love for the narcissist in an attempt to crack open that thick ass shell. Read that one again and let it sink in, because it’s exactly what is happening. Hey, something has to get their attention, and apparently the universe has asked you.

When the pendulum has been swung WAY out to one side for a while (doormat), it’s normal for it to swing a bit far out to the other side (seems mean to you) before it naturally settles into its sweet spot (amazing perfection). So be mean; it’s healthy for you, and it’s actually what is best for your soul’s growth. This is literally your spiritual work practice now. Read that sentence again, and maybe even close your eyes for a few seconds and breathe and really let it sink in. This is your spiritual work right now – it’s literally not yoga or mediation or energy stuff or whatever else, IT’S THIS. And to be honest, there’s nothing mean about it 🙂

So the last part about soul growth and spiritual work brings us to the final thing, which is what really fires me up. And remember, this is hypothetical! Seriously. But this is a thing on the planet now, not the details, but the same general vibe of it, so it’s important to talk about. So apparently this fictitious person teaches lots of yoga and even mentors others (budding yoga teachers, it sounds like). He’s also a massage therapist. And if the essence of what was posted is even somewhat true, then I sure hope he reads this, to be honest. Because I want him to learn and grow and benefit, I truly do! If he were real, that is. I want that for all of us, because we’re all souls in bodies doing our damn best. And without a User Guide, in case you haven’t noticed. And sometimes our best sucks. So there’s zero judgment. But sometimes we do need to get rocked a bit to get back on track. So here we go. And angels, please help me do good job here 🙂

NOTE: If any spiritual people get triggered, please read all the way to the bottom. Maybe more than once. There’s really good and powerful stuff in these words, and maybe it’s all good. But if they trigger you, then it’s actually still all good, because there’s a very good reason for it! And you can always reach out to me to discuss. And know that I love you, I love everyone. We’re in this thing together, we really are. We got this. But the spiritual world is in the beginning of a massive shift, and I know that it can feel like an attack sometimes, regarding what you’re used to and what you’ve been taught. Back to the story… And yes, my zig-zagging here is absolutely hilarious. Classic sensitive not wanting to be mean.

So the true, modern spiritual path – for most people today – is not so much about the fancy, mesmerizing, esoteric stuff. It’s much more about messy earth. It’s not about activating the higher chakras, it’s more about clearing the lower chakras (yes, you read that correctly, because then the energy moves right up). It’s about being human. It’s about being a good person. It’s about acting with integrity. It’s about dealing with your stuff. It’s about being open and honest in relationships. It’s about trying your best to be a good communicator. It’s about respecting others, since they’re a soul in a body as well (just like you).

Lots of people are amazing at yoga or mediation or energy healing or astrology or whatever, but they still tend to act in an unsavory manner to some degree, and a bit too often. And they think they’re super evolved and even superior, in many circumstances. The problem is that they’re putting the cart before the horse. I know because I’ve done this and lived it, and for many years. Definitely not to the degree of this hypothetical character, though, but it’s the same idea. What’s up is that these people are in spiritual middle school, that’s all. And that’s not a judgment, it’s an observation. Because we all have to successfully pass middle school to get to high school, college, graduate school, doctoral program, etc. So middle school is just as important as any other grade or age! But someone that acts in this way, make no mistake about it – they’re not nearly as advanced or evolved as they think they are. But all good. Own it, embrace it, and do the work – and ask the universe for help – and you’ll shift just fine. It’ll most likely take some time, though, so slow down and don’t rush your path; the universe is in charge, and it knows exactly what it’s doing.

I’ve been intoxicated by fancy spiritual stuff before, and for many years at a time. And that’s what was supposed to have happened. So I get it. But we have to eventually get the order right – deal with your sh*t first. Be a good person that respects others. That. Comes. First. The basics. I’m not against yoga, energy healing, astrology, meditation, or any of that, not at all. It’s amazing, in fact! I’m totally a woowoo; I’m just a reasonably integrated one, and getting more integrated all the time. Because there’s an order to things. And I had to put the horse back before the cart, after quite a long and arduous – and painful – journey in the spiritual world. So I try to help people avoid this detour if and when possible. I took a very thorough detour, in fact, so that I could spot it really well and then help others – to save them time, energy, lots of pain, and the inevitable self-judgment, no matter how subtle. I’ve just seen it so much where someone replaces the basics with the more esoteric, the more fancy and complex. And that’s what someone that’s spiritually immature would do. Because that stuff is very alluring, very intoxicating, very shiny. So no judgment. Let’s just get the basics down first, that’s all. And you’ll be much happier that way.

So to our hypothetical yoga teacher massage guy, I say this… First, be a good, respectable person if you have not been. If you have not been. If you feel – not think or reason or justify, but FEEL – that you should be doing even one percent better, then do that, now. Don’t think, just do. Remember, this is your spiritual practice, this is the fast way. It’s actually no longer the stuff you’ve been doing. That was perfect for then, but this is now. It’s a path, and there’s an order to it. And the universe knows the order, not you. Deal with the issues that are in front of you if you have not. And again, don’t try to argue and reason and manipulate – that’s nothing more than useless mental masturbation. If you have a child, it sounds like you owe more money. Own it, it’s just simple math. You got this.

Also know that “it was your decision to get pregnant” doesn’t work anymore. That one is done, period. This situation is real; it’s already happened. It’s a done deal. And when you pay, pay on time, making it easy and effortless. That’s what a true yoga master would do. Treat her how you’d like to be treated if the roles were reversed, and be proud of yourself for doing so – that’s your spiritual practice. It’s called spreading the light, and it represents real spiritual evolution. Then, knock yourself out with all the yogic study and practice you want. But only after you’ve taken care of your business. You got this, brother.

Note that this process will most likely take years, so again, slow down. Right now, it sounds like you’re being led by your “spiritual ego,” which most people don’t even know about or talk about. I had no idea that it existed for well over ten years, and I was right in the middle of it! I was the poster boy for that, and innocently, I might add; it’s all so innocent. But it’s rampant in the spiritual world and definitely so in the yoga community. It’s your ego dressed up in spiritual garb, saying spiritual words, reading spiritual things, etc. But it’s not your soul. It sure can look like it and feel like it, though! Your soul deals with the expenses of having a daughter, even when it’s not happy about those expenses. And even when it’s not happy about having a daughter. Earth is messy, earth is real. And people use spirituality as a bypass all the time (look up “spiritual bypass” – like, now – it’s really important to understand this – I’ve done a TON of this). That game won’t last long, because your soul will get louder and louder over time. And the universe might even use the court system or something else that’s harsh to bring about the shift that needs to happen and that is ready to happen. There’s the smooth way and then there’s the way that rocks you. Try to get out in front of things; it’s much less jarring to your system and to your world.

NOTE: If these words regarding the spiritual stuff have been triggering in any way, then that’s simply your spiritual ego bumping up against the truth. And if not, great! Also know that your spiritual ego is actually not an enemy or something bad, but rather an innocent baby in your heart that needs your own love and attention to heal and to feel safe. And it wants no part of messy earth. It has a good gig now, trying to stay above it. It fears growing pains. See it, love it, reassure it, and it’ll actually integrate back into your being. It thinks this process means death, but it really means going home. Home into your heart. That’s where the self-love comes in, which is actually the centerpiece of the new 5D spiritual paradigm. Not complex spiritual knowledge and fancy practices and what not. That stuff is great, but it’s NOT central. Loving your heart’s wounds is central, and allowing your energy field to be purged of all its old emotional debris from lifetimes and lifetimes. Just scroll back on this blog and read a ton and you’ll get the idea.

I’d also check out to a ton of Matt Kahn for some spiritual ego rehab. Here’s his YouTube page, and if you contact me, I’ll even send some audio tracks on a google drive so you can check them out. He has two excellent books and a brand new card deck that redefines card decks (I’m serious!), and also an active Facebook page. There’s so much here on my blog (if you scroll back) that might help, including stuff about him as well and the teachings that come through. He’ll be in Sarasota, FL April 17-18. Go. And take your spiritual tribe with you. This is the new 5D stuff. Bigger, stronger, faster. But it doesn’t look like you might think! It’s way more integrated. That’s what 5D means – oneness (which is even a scientific fact from the early 1900’s). Oneness, the marriage of opposites. Bringing together the spiritual and the material into one (that’s what “integrated” means, from above). But note, it can trigger your spiritual ego to pieces, even with his super loving delivery. But that’s a good thing, a very good thing. Yay 🙂

I love you and may you be blessed with all the light and healing there is. I wish you a smooth journey. But I’ve seen people like you, hypothetical yoga bro, and I’ve been you. Innocently. It was part of my path, my stepping stones. You really might want to try to get out in front of the shifts the universe is going to have you make, because it will be much smoother that way, as I said above. I’ve learned this lesson the hard way, over many years, because I was being trained to be a helper in this exact area. But timing is timing, and I’m certainly not in charge of that; that’s the universe’s job, and it’s a mystery to me. I honestly have no clue what your path is. But it does feel like a shift is imminent, and I truly wish you all the best with that. And may the angels and guides and helpers all assist in the most graceful way possible. Amen.

And to my friend, your next step is most likely to use the court system! Unless he has an awakening (and soon – no more messing around, okay??). And holler if you need to or if you have any questions or anything, I know this is a lot. But you got this. And getting stronger isn’t mean, it’s actually what the universe wants for you (and requires of you, eventually – life will just get more painful until this happens). Because you will ALL benefit. You’ll grow, he’ll finally be forced to grow, and your daughter will benefit as well since you’ll be less stressed about money and her dad will be more fully involved (kids pick up on everything). I send love to the situation, and I wish the very best for all involved!

And one final time, let’s zoom out and remember that this was written about a hypothetical situation to illustrate some important points that are very relevant today. And it goes with themes and types of characters that I see in my office and in the world all the time. I’m just doing my best to help us see what’s going on in the bigger picture, so that we can shift faster to the New Earth that we all want and that we all deserve, and that’s on the way anyway. Much love to you all, and peace out! And as always, I’m here to help if I can 🙂