Hello again. These are my final notes from Matt Kahn’s 5-day Standing For Love retreat (they’ll have the audio for sale in July). It was at the World Forestry Center in lovely Portland, OR on April 25-29, 2018. You can read my general, mind-blown impressions here. Because it was freaking insane!!! Okay, I had to get that out of my system… But seriously, it was craaaazy!!! I guess there was a bit more…
His retreats (and everything he does) always unfold intuitively, based on what the universe deems necessary for that situation at that time. It’s so cool to watch because it just happens, it just comes through. He said that this retreat ended up having a theme for each day. Day four was Saturday, and the theme was Relationships. That was a big day for everyone… The planet needs healing around this so much, so it packed quite a massive charge. And day five was Sunday, a shorter day, and the theme was Self-Responsibility. Which was perfectly appropriate for releasing us back into the wild as we set out to take our brand new selves back home!
Saturday 4/28/18 am (Relationship Day)
We had an amazing session! We did these huge repeat-after-me group clearings with the men first and then the women and then both. HUGE releases for so many people. Lots of emotion running through many of the attendees. Like, primal releases and sobs. For a long time. The men went first to ask the women for forgiveness for all the atrocities and abuses of power, etc. over the centuries. And the woman said yes. And I forgot what the women’s was, to which the men said yes. I mean, hey, I had enough on my plate with our own stuff! But whatever it was, I wholeheartedly agreed. And then altogether, men and women, the gist was that we’re healing everything from the past that’s gender-related and moving into a whole, healed, balanced future. With the men embracing the feminine within and the women embracing the masculine within (like my post from a free years ago, Women Rising Up!). Anyway, this was a major group healing.
NOTE: when I’m saying “men” and “women,” it’s really referring to masculine and feminine energies. So it could be in a body of any variety. It’s the energy, not the body. Back to the notes…
For all of us, all the time, act with integrity no matter what. I’m the only one that has to be polite, and no mercy for me.
To another person, or to your inner child, say, “How may I serve you?” The inner child is actually your soul or “higher self,” which is the whole freaking universe – dressed up as a baby! So when we ask it “How may I serve you?”, the universe sees a master. And then the universe says to us, “How may I serve YOU?”
Loss is only initiation for more gain. “What am I being prepared to gain?”
Saturday 4/28/18 afternoon (Relationship Day)
The talked a lot about the tendency and need to be right. The price of being right is that the other person feels unsafe. It’s all about the right to be seen versus the need to be right.
You can even vent without the need for the other person to agree. You just “let it out.” And their job is to literally just stand there. And then you’re done and you move on and have a great day. They don’t have to agree or have any opinion whatsoever. It’s not their stuff, anyway, so let’s let them off the hook. There’s much more peace in a relationship this way.
When you don’t need to be right, those that do need to be right don’t bother you. If you just let them be right, it’s the end of the dance (even though they’re never really going to be satisfied with anything you say or do).
People can only waste your time when you don’t choose to use it to grow (remember to use the forgiveness process for when you’re triggered).
Talking about bodily illness and symptoms… “May I change my relationship with it?” Look at it as an opportunity. Try to have a different experience with it. What is it inviting me to do or see or change?
Sunday 4/29/18 am (Self-Responsibility Day)
NOTE: Here’s the link to a video of 90 minutes of this morning session, so you can watch it for yourself! And he goes through the forgiveness process called “Send it Back” several times.
Lots of talk about boundaries… Check in with yourself before saying yes! And you don’t need anybody else’s approval. Only do things for others if you want to AND if you also have it in the tank to give.
Be caring for others, not their caretaker. The difference is that your peace doesn’t hinge on their healing. That’s their journey.
The Mirror Teaching 2.0 (for empaths): The good in others mirrors the light of your soul. Their conditioning that doesn’t trigger you is what you’ve healed. If it triggers you, you’re still healing it.
Narcissists come from emotional neglect. Most people have a tendency to be self-absorbed at some point, to varying degrees, as opposed to self-aware or self-responsible. A narcissist has the inability to consider other people.
Let It Go 2.0 (for empaths): “My feelings matter.”
NOTE: this is what I was talking about in my recent post about honesty, and especially the follow-up called More Honesty: Don’t Let It Go!
When someone triggers you, they’re showing you there’s something in you that’s ready to be healed. So it’s a good thing; embrace it!
Again, here’s the trigger (forgiveness) process. You’re triggered. How do I feel? Look back to whoever made you feel that way the first time or the most. “I forgive you, and I send it back as blessings for your journey ahead.” Then to the person that triggered you, “Thank you for triggering me” (obviously this can be said silently). Also the very relaxed form of sitting with ourselves that we did Thursday night is great for doing this, as well as for self-awareness and self-responsibility in general.
Triggered always means there’s another layer that’s ready to be healed. And this process clears our whole lineage and also clears some density in the one that triggered us, too (because oneness or unity consciousness is here!).
A Christ says, “God, if there’s anything in me that needs to be buffed out, then trigger me now!” And life can have anyone do it, because it’s not about them, it’s all about healing the past. Plus, it’s always Source (God, the Universe) dressed up as a person anyway.
Communicate your needs, don’t share your blames. Set the person up for success. Rather than an “I statement,” for example, at least have another suggestion. And own your own stuff. Like, “Hey that triggered me and I know it’s my stuff, and I’m working on it. But if you can communicate with me in this way instead of that way it’d be great.” And of course we’re always doing the trigger process to clear the past as well.
If the feeling (or some of it) stays after doing the forgiveness process, the sidebar to the process is sitting with the feeling. It’s the parent sitting with the child to heal the neglect it’s experienced. Be the softness around the emotion that says “It’s okay” and “I’m here with you.” And if it replies that it’s not okay, say, “Then it’s not okay, but I’m here with you.” It’s a memory, so it only knows the past (which was not okay). But we’re the observer, so we know the present (i.e. that we’re okay now). It’s the innocence of the memory sitting with the parent (the observer). And this is how the memory is healed.
Like an expectant mother sits with a hand on her belly, we’re sitting in excitement waiting for a moment of transformation to be birthed. Waiting for a new, expanded consciousness to be birthed.
This is a big deal! We’re the cosmic liberator, because when we do what those before us – generation after generation – couldn’t do (The Process), we’re healing all of them. By clearing our emotional cellular body. None of it is ours; we came here to heal the collective, and it just looks like we’re each doing it in one body. It’s a very big deal!
Now we know how to be around other humans! We know the rules of engagement. We have the right to make boundaries. And we clear stuff whenever it arises (the radical forgiveness process) instead of judging and blaming. The Cosmic Liberators. “Free people free people.” Wow!
Sunday 4/29/18 afternoon (Self-Responsibility Day)
After an experience like this, what else can you say????? WOW! I’ll be back at the next one in October, can’t wait. And I can’t wait to go back home in the meantime, too, because it’s time to live and deepen this awakened consciousness and shine more and more light.