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Corona 1: Moment-To-Moment Self-Love Technique

We’re experiencing some very crazy times right now with this coronavirus. Understatement, I know. I’m going to write a series of posts about what I know, and I hope they’ll contain some things that can help you right away. Even if they help a little, or if there is one nugget that resonates with you, it’s well worth the read. The first one today will be about what we always do first, and that’s loving the part of ourselves that needs it in any moment. Like when we’re upset in any way, any way at all, big or small. This lets those energies flow. The second will be about using gratitude – gratitude?? – yes, gratitude – to help speed up what we’re going through and to also positively affect your immediate circumstances. And the third will be what I know about the bigger picture of why this is happening, what the reason is. Because there’s always a reason. We’re trying to see things through the eyes of the universe, which we’ve talked about before. And note that we don’t have to like or understand the reason. And when we don’t, we love that part of ourselves on the spot. That always comes first. In exactly the manner described below. Here we go…

Remember that the foundation of this work that I’ve been sharing the last several years can be called “loving what arises.” And it’s really more like loving WHO arises. As in, what part of you needs love in any moment. When you’re scared, angry, sad, anxious, stressed, feeling insecure, unsure, inadequate, or whatever – it’s always only a part of you that feels that way. And trust me, I know that that part can feel like the whole thing! I get that for sure. I experience that as well. But it’s actually always only a part of you. And the essence of loving what arises is saying “I see you” to that part, the second it shows up. “I see you and I am with you. How you feel is valid.” It feels amazing after a while.

I’ve talked before about The Baby Analogy, where you view the part of you that’s triggered as a younger version of yourself. It could be a baby, your first grade yearbook picture, whatever. Cute and innocent. You only want to give him or her the biggest bear hug ever. If that works for you, then great. And if not, all good – it can just be a part of you without the “younger you” connection. The point is that a part of you is showing up saying it needs YOU. So what can you do?

One way is to close your eyes and put your hands on your heart and breathe. Then let the breath be a breath of love for that part of you – the scared one inside, the mad one, the sad one, the anxious one, etc. You’re saying, “I see you.” You’re saying, “How you feel is valid.” And it’s so healing. Remember that we don’t choose our feelings. Rather, they just show up and say, “I’m here, what are you going to do with me? Are you going to judge me or ignore me? Or are you going to love and accept me.” That part of you is asking to be seen, and it’s asking for respect.

Note that you don’t have to like it to love it – that’s huge. You don’t like your own child when he or she throws a tantrum in the grocery store, but the love remains exactly the same. As you’re rushing the child out of the store and away from the public! Loving it just means seeing it; acknowledging it is there and it is valid. I don’t love fear or anger or sadness, but I absolutely love little Ashley with a bowl haircut that feels that way! All day long.

Each time we do this, our heart gets healed a little – or a lot. And the triggered energies that have arisen are getting cleared each time as well. That’s why I like using the breath. And letting it be a breath of love that blasts your heart makes the breath so much more powerful. It’s so direct. It feels so powerful after a while, like a fire extinguisher. Like it’s filling a gas tank that was empty. Like it’s healing a wound. So huge.

Note that you don’t have to stop and close your eyes each time. You can do this anytime, anyplace. You can be at work and something happens that triggers you. In this case, maybe you have a cancellation or your boss cuts your hours or lets you go. You feel those triggered energies arise in your body. And right away, you catch them with that breath and you’re a big open space – open is key – for that to arise and to be. Your awareness says, “I see you and I’m here with you,” without even a word in your head. You can do this while face-to-face with your boss or a client or a friend or family member. And those energies are allowed to move and eventually be dispersed. If you’re feeling them, they’re saying goodbye on the way out. Otherwise they get stuffed down, they build up, and then they explode later – often on somebody who is innocent. Sound familiar? We’ve all done this before. Let’s take this opportunity to master it as best we can. We got this.

When you are alone later, and this could even be in your car (while it is parked), you might want to close your eyes and put hands on heart and really blast that part of you with love. And let the emotion flow. And it will. Remember that it’s being cleared out of you. It’s a good thing. You might even start and end your day doing this, even for just a few seconds. Times like these might call for such measures. And you know what? You’re learning to love yourself more and more. If you’re doing that, often things in the world end up working out for the better. I’m telling you, folks, I see it not only in my life but in the lives of all the clients with whom I share this. It’s really freaky sometimes. It’s amazing.

So that’s the first step that I practice myself and teach others, anytime we’re triggered. Whether we’re alone or not. Loving what – or who – arises. In times like these, of course we feel a wide range of emotion; that’s why this is so important to understand and practice. When we love what arises in this manner, we validate all of it and let the triggered energies flow. Then they don’t build up and explode, so our relationships are better. And often the outer world shifts as well. Hang in there with this thing, and there will be more to come in the coming days. We got this. Things will be changing, though, but for the better in the long run. I believe it’s all destiny. And we got this. We have no choice anyway. So hang in there and love that heart as needed, as your first and most immediate step. Talk soon.