My readers know that I’ve slowly been “coming out of the closet” regarding my strong belief that death is not real. You can read about that here. The body dies, and fortunately… we are not the body! For now, let’s just think of it as if we are that which animates the body for a relatively short time. And what we really are is just fine before, during, and after the bodily experience (regardless of how the body lives and dies). I’ve just studied this stuff too much and have seen what amounts to this logical math major as way too much evidence. We are spirit or soul or whatever you want to call it. Too much evidence. And we’ll be talking about that more. Please understand, though, that I’m a “legit licensed counselor” and that I’m living and working in the deep south at that. So I’m taking my time. But I definitely believe that death ain’t real. And yes, I still cry at funerals. I miss people. I hate to see others in pain. But I still don’t believe in death. Not even a tiny bit.
So a client of mine that I hadn’t seen in a while came in a couple of weeks after her beloved mother had died. Her body had been sick for years, but my client didn’t think the end was so near. Her mother knew that it was, though, and was very much at peace with it. “My work is done, and you don’t need me anymore,” her mother said very nonchalantly. To which my client replied, “I’ll always need my mom!” Her mom said, “I’ll see the twins. I’ll give you a sign.” Without missing a beat, my client said, “Just whistle.” You see, whistling had an old significance between the two of them. And the twins had been aborted when my client was pregnant many years before, as the result of a very difficult and painful decision.
Her mom passed away shortly thereafter, like maybe even that night or within a couple of days. And two things happened, either the night she died or only a day or two after. The first was a dream. It didn’t feel like any old dream, though. It was much more vivid and realistic. And I’ll bet she’ll remember it for the rest of her life like it was just yesterday, because I’ve talked to so many people who have had a similar experience. Some call this is a visitation.
In this “dream,” her mom was looking radiant, before the effects of cancer had worn her body down. She still had her eyebrows, for instance. And she had a huge smile. Behind her was this warm, beautiful light that even the sun paled in comparison to. Warmer and brighter than the sun?? Yes, warmer and brighter than the sun. Wow! And the message was quite clear: “All is good. I’m perfectly fine.” Needless to say, this provided great relief for my client.
The other thing happened when my client was at home and in the kitchen. I think this was actually the night her mother had died. And in comes her young daughter. And she was whistling. Bam! My client remembered the exchange with her mother about seeing the twins and giving her a sign. “Why are your whistling?” asked my client. Her young daughter replied, “I don’t know.” I asked if her daughter whistled a lot. My client said that she had whistled before, but in spurts. And she was not currently in one of those spurts. She had not whistled for some time. So cool…
This is yet another interesting tale regarding the mystery of death. When you start talking about these things, people start speaking up about their experiences. There are tons of them. Tons. In fact, just this week I was teaching the class at the innovative rehab, Gulf Breeze Recovery, that I now teach every two weeks. And I mentioned this story. And one of the guests there got this look in her eye and glanced over to one of the other guests. I asked her what was going on, and she said she had the same dream experience not long before with one of her parents, I think it was. She was new there, and I had never met her before. And I don’t usually talk about this there. The timing, though, was perfectly lined up, as far as when I had seen my client, when that guest had arrived at GBR, and when I next taught class. And it provided more healing and understanding for this guest.
When we hear and share these stories more, suddenly death doesn’t seem like such a mystery. And it really does start to seem like the body dies, and yet we are not the body. This also jives perfectly with the people that have near death experiences and come back saying that we are literally not the body and that it has no more to do with your true identity than the clothes you are wearing. Which is to say, nothing. Zero. Zippo. Zilch. Nada. You get the idea. (And by the way, if you’re naked as you read this then just imagine that you’re wearing clothes…)
Afterlife is a pretty cool documentary that’s available on Netflix. And there are tons of books by Dr. Raymond Moody (who is featured in Afterlife) and others. The book Final Gifts is pretty cool, too. It was written by two hospice nurses who finally decided that after ten years in the business, they simply had to tell the story of the astonishing things they had witnessed.
This post is meant to demystify death and bring comfort around the subject to you and your loved ones. It’s time we talk about this more. If a blind person can die for a few minutes, be revived in a hospital, still totally blind, and then describe the whole scene in visual detail, then that’s a game changer (watch Afterlife!). It’s time to get real with what’s really going on, because there’s so much more peace to be had once we do. If death is only of the body, then I’m not truly separate from a person after s/he dies. I can carry them around with me, talk to them, love them, feel them. Anytime, anyplace, 24/7. This happens in my office all the time. In fact, I’ve recently noticed that when a client tells me about a loved one that has died, I often feel a strong tingle in my body. I’m serious, and I’m a freaking math major! There’s no embellishment. I’m not trying to do this; I’ve just noticed it, because it can be quite strong. Not subtle. And yes, I still cry at funerals. But on the other side of those tears there is great joy. Why? Because we are no longer separate. There is simply no true separation. So we can be even closer to that one than we were before. Pretty cool, and quite the game changer… Let me know if I can help!