16 Hours of Matt Kahn For $99!

Posted Posted in Spirituality/Religion

You might remember me shouting from the rooftops last summer about Matt Kahn’s Feel Good Now retreat, on sale for $111 (I think that’s still good, by the way… do it!). This was a 5-day retreat in Portland, OR back in April 2017, and it’s hours and hours of talks that are designed to blow your mind and totally change your life, as this new stuff integrates. Well, here’s another one, and it’s even less expensive, by twelve bucks. Hey, it all adds up… The next 5-day retreat he did was in Portland as well, in October 2017. It’s called Becoming The Beloved, and it’s on sale for $99. Do it.

It’s sixteen hours of talks, all about relationship. Relationship with yourself, relationship with the universe, relationship with your soul mate, etc. If you want to attract your soul mate, then you first have to become the one with whom they’d actually want to be! That’s what he did, for nine years actually. It’s amazing stuff, and all of his stuff is super general in case “relationship” doesn’t resonate with you at first. Because when we take a deeper look, everything is relationship. Of course it all starts with your relationship with yourself, which is what we talk so much about here. And then there’s your relationship with the universe, which is also something we’ve been talking about here for a long time. Then there are your relationships with other people, both close and distant, healthy and unhealthy. And it all extends out from there to every area of your life. You’re in relationship with your body, your possessions, your job, your free time, your hobbies and interests, your ethnicity, your beliefs, food and drink, sex, where you live, etc. Everything is relationship. Isn’t that interesting?

Anyone that’s into spiritual stuff or growth, or that resonates with anything that’s “deep” in any way, do it if you can! $99 is an extremely low price for a long-term investment in yourself. If there’s one life changing piece of gold, then it’s worth it. And let’s face it, in sixteen hours of this guy talking, one nugget is a layup. I feel so pushy… But, it’s out of love! I went through the spiritual rat race for years, and I’m just trying to save you some time and pain. But all good, your intuition is your guide. Nothing is for everyone, and you know you the best. This post is meant for those that have been resonating even a little bit with what I’ve been sharing about my experience with Matt and his teachings.

If you’re interested, click here. Then click Add To Cart, enter promo code BTB2017, and take it from there. And I really will try to be less pushy and “sales-y” in the future, but I can’t make any promises… Peace out!

Notes: Matt Kahn Retreat, Sunday AM

Posted Posted in My Stories, Spirituality/Religion

Here’s the sixth and final installment of my notes from the Matt Kahn retreat in January. And my initial impressions are written up here in case you want some context.

NOTE: He uses certain words interchangeably: the Universe, Source, Life, God, Light, the Divine. If you have any baggage with a certain word or words, just pick one that works for you! The last thing we ever want to get hung up on is a word, as I’ve done a million times before. It’s just a symbol, so always look at what the speaker is pointing to rather than what your meaning is. Because they’re often not the same. And they’re the one that said it anyway. This is such an important thing to be aware of as humans that are always in communication with one another. Okay, here we go…

He said there’s nothing like the feeling of getting all areas of your life dialed in. His last was getting healthy, which he said was the hardest thing he’s ever done. And his recent marriage tied into this as well.

Back to abundance from yesterday, he said it’s hard to talk about it without it sounding like reward and punishment. So he asked the universe for a way to talk about it objectively to take the personal sting away. So here it is, and it’s pretty awesome. And so simple!

The universe is objective and energetic. It responds to intensity. The polarity is excitement and fear. Which are you most aligned with? Whatever you desire, are you more excited about it or afraid? If you’re more afraid, then the benevolent universe would rather protect you from what you’re afraid of than give you what you’re less excited about.

We’re always sending mixed signals. Children are good manifestors because they just want, want, want. Be specific and decisive with the universe.

Why be afraid? That’s in the ego’s domain. The ego wants what it wants like crazy, as long as it’s not here. Anticipation is the prime function of the ego. The ego lives to anticipate, needs to anticipate. That’s why people get so triggered at retreats! The ego can’t stand to sit still with nothing to anticipate.

Ask, “What would this moment be like without anything to anticipate?” Everything is waiting for you, and you’ll get there when you’re supposed to. It’ll all be revealed when you’re ready. All we do is commit fully and live this moment out and let it all come.

Waiting for enlightenment is anticipating what happens when we stop anticipating. Bam!

Do we anticipate the breath? We don’t, and it just comes. And it’s already within us. I’m saying this so you can relax.

So what else can we not anticipate? True love, plus everything else we desire. Anticipating is just what most of us do to pass the time until it comes. Life already knows what you want, whether you have a vision board or not, so just relax.

You can’t prepare for your destiny. It’ll show up not when you want it but when you need it. It doesn’t come when you expect it because it’s there to take you beyond your ideas, not to confirm your ideas.

Relationships often come when each person isn’t ready, because they’re being more themselves. The more natural we are, and normal, the more doors open. That has big implications to all this spiritual work, too, with so many of us always trying to attain and be better.

It’s actually normal to feel good about yourself. Of all things to question, why question yourself? Unless you’re doing things that are really bad for you, that’s obvious. Judging ourselves so much is like making a judgment about a movie character before they become the hero by the end of the movie. They’re still being molded. So just sit back and watch the movie!

We balance the deep stuff with being normal: a routine, interactions with others, etc. And not always having something to process! Don’t try to always better yourself, because it’s going to happen anyway. Let life be in charge.

Take a break from checking in on yourself. If you’re going through emotional upheaval, then check in; that’s common sense. Else relax. We have a spiritual hyper vigilance. Then he gave the hilarious analogy of a hotel employee constantly knocking on your door to ask if you’re okay and if you need anything. Like every few minutes. Finally, you say, “No, I’m not okay! I’m not okay because you won’t leave me the hell alone!”

Even self-love needs to be spacious and natural.

Also let’s not use inner spiritual work to hide from other areas of our life that need attention. Spiritual work is what we do when all of that has been taken care of.

Ask if you always have to have a spiritual process going on. Often there’s a secondary gain when you always have a spiritual process, because if you don’t then you might not feel connected to God or to yourself. But you’re always connected! Have a hobby or interest instead.

His desire for us is to be the most heart-centered, awake beings we can be. But he wants to instill in us the most natural way of approaching it. He and others (like his friend Kyle Cease) are part of a new breed of spiritual teachers that are teaching how to go about all of this. The “what to do” has been taught, but the “how” hasn’t been taught in a way that doesn’t leave us feeling spiritually insecure and weird. Just weird people, not normal. And that leads to insecurity. Hilarious.

There’s a time for spiritual stuff and a time to be normal. It’s like a firefighter that always has the full set of gear on. Trying to eat with the mask on, trying to sleep with that huge suit and mask on. Wait until the alarm sounds for all that! If we relax our spiritual impulse, then everything we’ve received this weekend will be fully integrated and will stick.

After so many years of intense spiritual process to prepare for the work that he’s doing, Matt’s spiritual process now is just being a human without a process.

Have at least one interest other than spiritual growth that’s in the direction of self-expression and creativity.

Consciousness has a masculine and a feminine aspect. The drive for spiritual truth is masculine. But the receiving is feminine. We need balance. The expansion of consciousness must be tempered with creativity because creativity is in the domain of the feminine. Creative expression plus spiritual expansion is the magic combination.

He’s helping us to become more settled, which is what he means by “normal.” And those that aren’t settled are in the process of becoming settled.

The deeper we go, the more natural life wants us to be. And when we’re not, it comes to a halt. And then some external things might shift, too. Like relationships coming to an end.

We can be settled right now, and it begins with having nothing to anticipate. There’s everything to receive and nothing to anticipate. Being settled is just being you, exactly as you are. It’s your natural state. Your life’s purpose is to be settled in yourself.

Sometimes when the universe doesn’t seems to be answering your questions or responding to you, it’s helping you to become more settled. It’s like the parent that’s holding a child so that the child can fall asleep. If the parent keeps talking to it, it won’t fall asleep. That’s the universe with us, but we’re falling awake. Whoa…

No matter how near or far we are from our goals, life’s trying to settle us right here, right now. Then we taste and feel perfection, and life really begins. The universe can’t help us decorate our space until we move in. And this is what it feels like to move in (that amazing feeling in the room now and throughout the retreat in every session). WOW!

Notes: Matt Kahn Retreat, Saturday PM

Posted Posted in My Stories, Spirituality/Religion

Here’s the fifth installment of my notes from the Matt Kahn retreat in January. And my initial impressions are written up here in case you want some context.

NOTE: He uses certain words interchangeably: the Universe, Source, Life, God, Light, the Divine. If you have any baggage with a certain word or words, just pick one that works for you! The last thing we ever want to get hung up on is a word, as I’ve done a million times before. It’s just a symbol, so always look at what the speaker is pointing to rather than what your meaning is. Because they’re often not the same. And they’re the one that said it anyway. This is such an important thing to be aware of as humans that are always in communication with one another. Okay, here we go…

This afternoon’s theme is the end of adversity. We all want to manifest the end of pain, loss, and adversity. That dimension occurs when we accept the invitation of the present moment to face the moment just as it is.

Adversity, inconvenience, etc. all happen to force us into the present moment.

If we’re present at the retreat, what’s so different when we leave? It’s different only because we say it is. It’s just a different set of hand puppets! Family, friends, co-workers, neighbors, etc.

Why not just be one way all the time? Be open to the moment as it is. Then adversity isn’t necessary.

Amazing inquiry: How do you know you’re not me? Whoa… I don’t! He went on for a little while about this, and everyone’s head was blown open. Even though we see different bodies, how do we KNOW? Not believe, but know. How do we know, at the end of the day when all is said and done and the play of different bodies in time and space is over. We don’t.

NOTE: To those to whom this sounds crazy, I hear you. But it actually has to be reality; it just doesn’t appear that way. Whether you look deeply at spirituality, religion, quantum physics, or the vast research on near death experiences and out of body experiences, there is no other possible conclusion. True separation cannot exist! Pretty crazy. Back to the notes…

So a crime only occurs when one forgets that the other is himself/herself. True forgiveness, then, is saying, “I pardon you of your mistake (of forgetting that I am you).” The one that’s in a position to forgive is always the one on a more advanced path. And the perpetrator is assisting that one on its journey.

This is a BIG step to take, but it’s the end of adversity.

This forgiveness pardons whatever it forgives and welcomes it home into the light, and it is transmuted on impact, automatically.

He did a cool social experiment some time ago and went around his hometown of Seattle silently forgiving everyone he saw and pardoning them – for whatever. And it radically changed how he related to life! We just deliberately hand out pardons to all humans. And then life starts to have a peace treaty with us.

Forgiveness has nothing to do with guilt. It’s just going around and constantly wiping the slate clean from a human energy field, all those that you forgive. Wow.

We forgive all for having related to others as being other than themselves. We do it for ourselves as well. And we do it for anyone from history, too. History is God dressing up as wilder and wilder characters to see if we’ll still recognize the light no matter how dense it looks.

Just pardon and set free and move on.

Matt invited us to think about what our biggest fear was. Then he told a story about how throughout his life, his biggest fear was that he was actually dark, like the anti-Christ, the devil, etc. So he played small to save humanity from this coming to be. Finally he faced all darkness and looked it in the eye, face to face. The worst stuff he could think of: Satan, the devil, the Anti-Christ, entities, Lucifer, demons, etc. And he forgave each one of them. He pardoned them and set them free. And in doing so, he became too big for Hell to contain. Then he could really unleash light on earth.

Then he went through lots of nasty stuff, anything that came to mind – animal abuse, murder, torture, rape, conspiracy theories, human trafficking, reptiles dressed as politicians, you name it – “I forgive you.”

Then he forgave us for for everything he could think of, and our lineage, to initiate us into having the power to forgive all humans – we receive it ourselves to be initiated into it, and it extends out from there.

When we first meet people, silently forgive them on the spot.

Forgiveness is how we purify our soul, raise our vibration, and clean the slate of others so that they can reach their highest potential.

Nothing has to be right (i.e. their actions), except our response: “I forgive you.”

NOTE: He always says to never stay in a dangerous, abusive situation. Be smart as far as your actions, and make sure you’re safe.

Judgment is the withholding of forgiveness. When we don’t forgive, it’s because of our pain. But forgiveness is what heals the pain. Forgive or fester, that’s the option. When this teaching truly hits us, there will be no option but to forgive.

With all of the injustices happening in the world, we’re being the solution and not part of the problem. This isn’t just how we step out of adversity, it’s how we’re freed from fear. Fear is what everyone else is swimming in, so let’s drain the pool!

When we’re doing this forgiveness all the time, darkness is afraid of us. So it hides. And we go around blowing up hiding spots.

Hell is the absence of forgiveness. It’s how life is when we don’t know the power of forgiveness. So if forgiveness is an option, great. And if it’s the only option, welcome to Heaven.

We forgive ourselves for holding others to expectations they’re not designed to meet. And we also forgive ourselves for lowering the bar. So we forgive both sides.

Let’s end this all now! And stop holding back our light and perfection.

And if we make choices we don’t think are good, own it and don’t blame. Let it be because we chose to instead of to cover up pain from someone or something else.

Choose everything in our lives. Own it, embrace it, and live at full capacity. And if we make changes and others are in pain as a result (like changing who you hang out with), then forgive us and them. But make sure we’re choosing those that choose us. Commit to life!

When wondering what life wants you to do, first commit fully to life exactly as it is and then wait for further instructions. So it comes back to the present moment from earlier.

There’s religion, which is man’s attempt at understanding the way of spirit, and then there’s the way of spirit, which is forgiveness in action. Just pardon and set free.

After all this talk about forgiveness, something really cool happened. A woman was super honest and said her body was literally burning. She was super triggered and felt like running. It was because the teaching was going on so long, like “I get it already!” And by the way, when he speaks, it’s a very strong energetic transmission, so it’s not just the words. And you can totally feel it. So the Light in her that was being awakened was pushing up against her ego/conditioning. What she was feeling was kundalini energy or God pushing against the ego, which is the part that’s not meant to survive. He asked what would happen if she didn’t run but let the fire burn instead? And just breathe. What burns is only what we don’t need, making room for more light or soul to come through.

Then a guy stood up after her to say he was experiencing the same thing (several others said they were), and he was also feeling like falling sleep and even passing out. Matt explained each. Falling asleep happens when we’re not used to our nervous system being so relaxed. Our mind only associates a level of deep relaxation with sleep, so the body thinks, “Yay, bedtime!” The feeling of passing out is different, though. That’s when the conscious mind is being challenged too much, with old beliefs crumbling. It freaks out, so the intelligent body just bypasses it altogether by passing out. Then the subconscious mind can take over and receive the teachings just fine (the conscious mind will catch up later). So interesting. Then the teachings continued…

When an empath feels what’s in another’s body, just forgive it. For example, “I forgive this anger.” You’re the one that’s in a position to forgive it because you’re the one that’s more aware of it. And the gold that comes from your act of forgiveness goes into their energy field for when they’re ready to receive it.

Then he talked some about money and abundance. Money is often a reflection of self-worth. The opposite of self-worth is self-doubt, and doubt = debt. Note that this is true for us as energetically sensitive ones or empaths, but different rules apply to others. Others on a different path often start out with abundance, only to feel an emptiness inside that forces them to look within. Or they start out with abundance only to lose it, thus forcing them to look within.

Abundance is about reclaiming your power, living with conviction, and being unapologetically you. There’s often an exchange of money for something of value. If someone doesn’t want to pay for your services, then maybe they’re not ready to receive what you have to offer.

Then he talked a bit about death, saying that after we take our last breath in this body, we take our next breath in a soul body or light body. So the breath never stops. When you’re with a dying person, say, “I/We love you, we’ll always be connected, and it’s safe to go now.” Say it over and over like a lullaby. This helps to usher them into the light.

Cool Q&A from a woman that’s a nurse in a “high acuity” area (i.e. there are extremely sick people there). She’s empathic and has long shifts with verbal abuse from the patients. She said she knows it’s the worst day of their lives, and she wants to be able to stay at a high vibration to serve them as best she can. He said to strive for a “pure” vibration, meaning it’s the highest that she can ground and embody rather than something unrealistic, leading to the roller coaster that she’s been experiencing. He said to open and meet whatever comes, such as the energy of the verbal abuse (this is the powerful feminine). Don’t be afraid. You’re the doorway to Heaven to transform it and pardon it for all. Also take short breaks if you can and change your breathing and constantly empty out. Say, “I allow the energy I’ve taken on from others to be taken out of my field and returned to the light now.” This “empties the recycling bin.”

Then she asked about being so triggered by rude patients when she’s working her ass off for them. He asked, “Who are they reminding you of?” She said it came down to her parents who were never around. She wanted their attention and worked hard for it. He said to forgive them and then see if the universe responds. See if different caharacters show up (i.e. less rude patients) or if she has less of a reaction when they’re rude.

NOTE: This is why the Q&A’s are so fascinating, because he’s like this intuitive laser. He’ll always ask something like “who are they reminding you of” to take it way deeper. It was really cool to watch. That example might not sound like anything special, but he did it over and over, and sometimes it seemed like it came out of left field. But it was always spot on. Back to the notes…

He talked about the difference between children and adults regarding wanting. Children just want what they want, while adults will think of if it’s good for them or if they need it.

The difference between a soul mate and a twin flame is conduct. A soul mate always has high conduct, because intimacy is a great responsibility. A twin flame, on the other hand, might come into your life and wreck things with lower conduct and respect. It always leads to growth, though – that’s always the bigger purpose.

Notes: Matt Kahn Retreat, Saturday AM

Posted Posted in My Stories, Spirituality/Religion

Here’s the fourth installment of my notes from the Matt Kahn retreat in January. And my initial impressions are written up here in case you want some context.

NOTE: He uses certain words interchangeably: the Universe, Source, Life, God, Light, the Divine. If you have any baggage with a certain word or words, just pick one that works for you! The last thing we ever want to get hung up on is a word, as I’ve done a million times before. It’s just a symbol, so always look at what the speaker is pointing to rather than what your meaning is. Because they’re often not the same. And they’re the one that said it anyway. This is such an important thing to be aware of as humans that are always in communication with one another. Okay, here we go…

There’s an in-between state that most of us are in, in which consciousness has awakened and the ego finally sees itself. And it’s ashamed at what it sees. It’s like when the old president has just moved out of the White House but the new president hasn’t fully moved in yet.

There are two sides to the awakening journey: the pushing away (masculine) of worldly stuff, roles, patterns, etc. and then returning and embracing them (feminine), but from a higher place, a higher level of consciousness. This new integrated ego is the light of our being expressed in personal form.

But first, the ego becomes conscious of itself and is ashamed at what it sees.

Question: What’s the thing about ourselves that we’re most ashamed of? And then can we be a loving space for that shame? Can it be okay (and even normal and natural, actually) that we’re ashamed of ourselves?

Maybe we know in our head that we’re God in form, but when we look in the mirror we only see shame and ugliness. It’s okay to feel however we feel: guilty, insecure, inferior, etc. Because consciousness awakens before the emotional body matures, and it ain’t easy to see it all. It’s okay that we want everyone to see our light and beauty even if we don’t see it. Can we be a loving space for shame?

Matt said he felt ashamed of himself for most of his life, even though he was popular and successful. Finally he realized it was just the unhealed, unresolved shame from the collective and not his personally.

Also as empaths we feel so much because our energy fields are constantly healing those around us and flushing it up, automatically and without our even knowing it. But then we take it on and make it personal, but it’s not ours! When we become aware of this it stops.

So negative feelings are what we’re clearing in others, while positive ones are what we’re activating in others. Understanding this emotional feedback is the key to mastering being empathic.

For us, earth is an “angel academy training ground master course.” We get to come here and be a true angel or spirit guide for someone. But the fine print says that person is me! This is the place where angels come to be initiated. And a big part of what we’re clearing is the stuff in our family lineage.

Our healing journey has nothing to do with what we do or don’t feel, because without the belief in ownership, that’s all gone. Same with our thoughts. How do I know it’s mine? Like when you’re in your car and another car is blasting the radio, and you can hear it.

We are the doorway to Heaven, so as things arise, say, “I allow you to pass and enter the light.” Be the doorway to Heaven (that you already are), not the Universe’s detective (always trying to heal what you think is wrong with you – when it’s actually not even yours).

Matt told a cool story about being in line at the grocery store. He was behind a person of a different ethnicity than him, and all of a sudden he heard lots of terrible racial slurs in his head. He was horrified, because he’s hated racism since he was a kid, and he’s always actively stood up for the oppressed from a very early age. So he’s wondering if he’s really some racist deep down! He knew this couldn’t be true, so he felt into it and realized that his energy field was clearing the other person’s field of all the racist sludge, literally cellular memories, that they were carrying around from their whole life. The universe is so smart, because maybe that person had never done any healing work, so the universe puts a healer (i.e. an empath) next to them in line at the grocery store. So as empaths, we’re all healers.

Consider: What if what I’m trying to resolve isn’t mine at all? How does that feel? And the ego wants to be the one to fix things. It wants the credit, so it’s cool with a very slow healing journey. Without ownership, that’s all gone. So this is a very big shift.

How people treat us isn’t about us; it’s a direct reflection of their relationship with the light within. We’re all Divinity incarnated, but at varying levels of awareness (that’s a VERY nice way to put it!).

So thinking about troubled relationships, like with your family, friends, partner, or whoever… Do you have a relationship with them or do you only experience their relationship with God, their relationship with their own light and truth? If we know how misaligned in consciousness they are, we’ll expect next to nothing. As opposed to expecting what they are simply not able to deliver.

Any experience is an opportunity to learn and grow from, but it’s not ours. Just like a movie, we can watch as much of it as we want, as many times as we want. We are free to learn from it and enjoy it. But our name is not in the credits.

So regarding what we feel and think: We welcome it, pardon it, and send it to the light. We don’t use it to define ourselves as being less than God.

This is a living, holographic training program for angels in which we have real life practice scenarios called “I am.” As in I am betrayed, I am abandoned, etc. And the name of the game is called How Do I Respond? We bless, pardon, and act politely. Out loud if appropriate, but otherwise silently. It’s like a video game and we get ten points each time we do this, and then we simply move on. And at the end of the day, we won.

Matt has known that’s what earth is for a long time, from all of his meetings with angels, ascended masters, and the Galactic Council from a very early age, beginning with his first out of body experience (Note: in chapter 2 of his first book, Whatever Arises, Love That, he tells his story, and it’s really cool). It’s a video game – a game called Love – and he decided to master it from a young age. And we’ll get smashed and hurt along the way! But we play full on, because it can only be the smashing of what we don’t need. So bring it on.

This is a holographic training program and we’re here to shine our light as brightly as possible (and that’s different for everyone). And there are really good reasons for all of it. They’re cosmic, not personal. We’re here to bring the cosmic to the personal.

When he realized he’s actually perfect (the divine incarnated, like all of us), he worked even harder. But we reach a level where we’ve made it, our own level of embodied perfection.

This work and journey isn’t what exhausts us. Ownership exhausts us (the empath’s ownership of what is not theirs, from above).

Gatherings like this are cosmic briefings. We join and are reminded of what the game is and then we go home and return to the hologram and hopefully don’t get our asses handed to us so much!

A dream (i.e. the hologram) isn’t “not real,” it’s a simulation of reality.

We learn to live on the edge, not afraid to be devastated. Pain sucks, but when the waves knock us down, they’re actually carrying us to the next place we’re meant to be. Also pain clears space for more love.

Some of us use self-love to prove something to ourselves, like proving that we’re worthy of love. Like we’re working super hard to get a gold medal in the spiritual olympics. So instead, love the part of us that can’t love and let it know it’s okay. And it takes time! We’ve all been in such a rush. We have to trust time. Like food cooking in the oven, set the timer and leave it alone. If we open the oven door to check on it all the time, it’ll never be able to fully cook.

Don’t hold back – live unleashed and be unapologetically you. Pain comes from holding back, not from what others do or don’t do to us. This is a video game, and we’re waking up in the dream. “Unleashed” means you’re ready to be seen and to see others.

He talked about something he calls “meta-incarnation,” as opposed to reincarnation. This is the idea that we’ve lived THIS life many times (Note: Hey, how do I know?? I have no freaking clue, and I don’t think you really do, either. And that’s fine! Let’s be open to anything. The universe will tell us what we need to know, exactly when we need to know it). He said if something’s not working for you, maybe make different choices that we’ve been coming back so many times to make. Let’s make this movie one that we’d really want to watch! So that our conduct and our choices and our lives captivate our attention in their amazingness.

The Netflix of Heaven is where we put a movie on and then jump into the screen to be the main character. Question: What’s the area of my life that needs to change in order to make the movie more amazing?

Notes: Matt Kahn Retreat, Friday PM

Posted Posted in My Stories, Spirituality/Religion

Here’s the third installment of my notes from the Matt Kahn retreat in January. And my initial impressions are written up here in case you want some context.

NOTE: He uses certain words interchangeably: the Universe, Source, Life, God, Light, the Divine. If you have any baggage with a certain word or words, just pick one that works for you! The last thing we ever want to get hung up on is a word, as I’ve done a million times before. It’s just a symbol, so always look at what the speaker is pointing to rather than what your meaning is. Because they’re often not the same. And they’re the one that said it anyway. This is such an important thing to be aware of as humans that are always in communication with one another. Okay, here we go…

Awakening is not an experience but the space between the experiences and also the one witnessing all experiences. Shift your attention from what is seen to the seer. It feels nice!

Asleep consciousness is a dream of meaning (like always unconsciously superimposing your past onto the present). Awake consciousness is a reality of relationships (between the seer and the seen). A spiritual ego just goes from personal meaning to spiritual meaning.

The more we know about stuff we see, the less interested we are. And the less we know about stuff we see, the more interested we are. So let’s dare to know nothing about ourselves! “Here’s what I know about myself” turns me into a freaking epidemic. Because the ego always looks for the negative, the “imperfect.”

Just be the seer, or be in observer mode: All I know is that I’m seeing this. When we know (actually when we think we know…) stuff about what we see, we’re in perceiver mode (automatically defining everything we see). And as long as we know stuff about ourselves, we’re in perceiver mode. If we know nothing about the observer, we know nothing about the observed.

Observer mode is awakened consciousness. Also observer equals breath. So I am the breath, and we’re done! Also breathe equals light. And the one in any interaction that’s breathing with more conviction, (i.e. deep or shallow) will influence those around them. This is the energy game.

Your breath is where your power is. It’s all about breath and love. And the love of breath leads to the breath of love. So they are connected.

When we ask a question and don’t get an answer, the answer from the universe is, “Honey, return to your breath.”

For most people, their greatest life purpose or fantasy is to be something other than what they are. But the breath’s greatest fantasy is to be us! We’re the breath’s Halloween costume.

When we notice anything we don’t like, like a thought or a feeling, it’s a reminder to stop and breath. A change of breath pattern causes a change of brain pattern, it reconfigures the emotional body, and old DNA is replaced with new. Consciousness rises and we see things from a different perspective or dimension.

When we feel great after a retreat or healing session or whatever, and then later we feel we “lost it” and have returned to normal, it’s a preview of what life will be like when we re-pattern our breath. Just stop and breath deeply more often. Time will fall away, too.

Breath is love. Breathe in goodness and blessings for me and then breathe out goodness and blessings for the world.

Loss strips us of things, leaving only the breath. So loss is a signal for breath awareness. Breath is always there to be gained. When rooted enough in breath, we can experience loss without grief.

When conditioned and asleep, we need to be constantly stimulated. When we’re awake, we’re nourished by the breath.

We’re learning to be grounded more in peace. And peace is not a state like bliss or ecstasy, but rather the space in which all states come and go. The ego gets bored of this and finally dissolves. Then the more we’re rooted in peace, joy arises as confirmation.

Get to know the vibration that’s peace and spend more time there. Like every morning and evening.

Don’t aspire for the highest consciousness there is. Aspire for the highest consciousness that you can embody and ground, and then radiate it to all. Then they can integrate it smoothly. This is called the “purest” consciousness for you. It’s always about being able to fully embody and ground it.

“Pure thought” is not the thoughts themselves, but your loving response to your thoughts.

“Pure action” is your response to the actions of others.

Iloka or Aloka (don’t know the spelling) is the “heavenly haze of heaven” that Matt channels and brings to earth when he speaks. The 3D world we see sort of pixelates and dissolves and this fog emerges, along with true Reality. Note: that’s what many of us experienced in these sessions, literally seeing differently. It was pixelated for many people, and one person even asked about this to make sure she wasn’t going crazy. For me, it was sort of a blurry vision from time to time and definitely the energetic haze. Someone asked him why he kept looking at his phone the first night, and he said it was because he couldn’t see the clock on the wall to check the time – due to the smoky energy. He sees all kinds of crazy stuff. Anyway, that was funny.

Integration is permanent grounding. Grounding is bringing energy down. We can do grounding exercises over and over, but integration happens when we truly desire to be here in the body. Most of don’t want to because we don’t feel safe.

Cool Q&A from a guy had tightness around his navel area. Matt said a barrier to the sacral chakra can be disillusionment and betrayal. He has to be cool being himself and not trying to change to impress others or to be accepted. Then Matt tuned in and heard the word “failure,” so without assuming anything he asked if that resonated. It totally did. So why bother participating on earth if I’m just going to fail? But it’s actually the feeling of the ego unraveling! Matt said it’s the final chapter of this guy’s dark night of the soul. He said to stay in the breath and to be the battlefield, not the soldiers and the war. The key is consistency, routine, and being healthy. Don’t do anything to check out, even small. Then Matt gave him a repeat after me: “Ahhh.” Just let it happen, and the your new life will emerge. Needs a little more time, though. Awesome.

Cool Q&A from a woman with PTSD. He said to start to feel safer, start to take time to compliment herself for anything she does right. Over time, the subconscious mind will see she’s not the same as she was when the trauma happened; she’s a different person now. So she’ll start to come from a new vibrational reality. The he said to rewrite the subconscious mind, do this: say, think, or write down three things she’s grateful for, three things she’s done right, and three things she wants in her life. Just keep doing that. And it could be as many as you want, but he just picked three. And be consistent. It’ll change her relationship with herself over time and she’ll feel safer and safer. And then she’ll be able to process the cellular memories of the trauma. And an add-on that feels good is, “I’m doing this for myself and also for those that are too paralyzed to do it for themselves.”

The various aspects of shadow want respect and want to be seen for the spirit guides and teachers that they are, not something to get rid of. They must have gifts if they won’t go away. They’re the way they are because they’re trying to change us, but we’re trying to change them. And they’re going to win.

This new level of awakened consciousness is awesome (the whole group was at peace and stillness yet again, as happened so often), and our old problems don’t exist here. Everything is seen from a different vantage point. So just unpack your bags and move in and stay!

Awakened consciousness is perceiving life in an extraordinary way, as opposed to a series of extraordinary experience.

Notes: Matt Kahn Retreat, Friday AM

Posted Posted in My Stories, Spirituality/Religion

Here’s the second installment of my notes from the Matt Kahn retreat in January. And my initial impressions are written up here in case you want some context.

NOTE: He uses certain words interchangeably: the Universe, Source, Life, God, Light, the Divine. If you have any baggage with a certain word or words, just pick one that works for you! The last thing we ever want to get hung up on is a word, as I’ve done a million times before. It’s just a symbol, so always look at what the speaker is pointing to rather than what your meaning is. Because they’re often not the same. And they’re the one that said it anyway. This is such an important thing to be aware of as humans that are always in communication with one another. Okay, here we go…

The old way is asleep consciousness trying to act like awakened consciousness. Let it go, don’t resist, accept what is, etc… And it can’t. The new way is to steep in awakened consciousness using love. It’s all about truth and love. Exploring the deeper truths (i.e. awakening) while using love to integrate it, loving ourselves and others. And balancing those two things in any moment.

Say this: Who I am is how I love, not what I do. Whoa. We’re so focused on what we do. So in the morning, ask, “How will I love today?” Ask the universe to show me how to love, or how to love more in this moment. And if we’re having a hard time with it then the one that’s having the tough time is the first to get love. Say, “It’s okay.”

Nobody has to agree on anything, ever. We’re all reporters from our own universe, reporting our uniqueness of what we see, hear, feel, and think to contribute to the whole. We’re all in different places and at different levels, so we should just cheer each other on and support each other.

The 4th dimension is like a hallway from the 3rd to the 5th. It’s where the spiritual ego gets constructed and then deconstructed, or unraveled.

Dimension just refers to the level of consciousness you live from and see things through. 5D is unity consciousness, and it’s all about how the truth is already within me and who I am is how I love.

Each dimension has its own history. It can feel like turning a blind eye to the problems of the world when we start to live in 5D, but we’re starting to live in a consciousness where those problems don’t exist. So we’re bringing that energy to the earth and anchoring it. Higher consciousness is what will solve everything, not trying to fix it from within the same consciousness.

Your specific mission from consciousness is only what’s directly in front of you. And when you’re way into something that’s not your mission, there’s fear. Like conspiracy theories or whatever. It’s like a guy in an office wandering around to everyone else’s cubicle like it’s some office mixer and he’s trying to do their work. Go to your cube and do YOUR work! And then later you see he has a wrench and is trying to fix the copy machine, but he’s not a copy machine repairman. Hilarious. Stay in your lane.

We’re either looking at reality or we’re looking at a screen (phone, computer, etc.). He uses technology, but he only relies on his consciousness, his intuition. It’s the best app there is.

A judgment is a reminder that we’re afraid to love in that moment or situation. So it’s an opportunity to soften and open and become more loving, by first loving the part that can’t love.

Try to see beauty in everyone to anchor that more and more on earth

Soul contracts are present only when it resonates or there’s a desire or intuition. Even if it’s just like, “I have a feeling I have to do this” (as opposed to I really want to). If you don’t want to do it or you don’t have that feeling that you are supposed to do it, then it’s not a soul contract. And if someone else is involved, someone else will show up for them that actually has the contract. And then there will be growth for all involved. Spiritual people can say yes to everything, even when they’re not supposed to. We have to learn to say no. Be firm but polite.

Start self-love with the easiest thing, not the hardest. The ego goes to the hardest thing, as if to prove it wrong. The ego hears “whatever arises, love that” and immediately says, “You mean I should love Hitler?” Hilarious. Instead start with something about yourself that you truly like. Even if it’s that you’re not a terrible person! You’re not the worst person in the world; there are lots of worse people. Seriously, that’s fine! Just start wherever you can and it’ll spread.

Instead of wondering when the voice in the head will shut up, listen to it. It usually just wants to be listened to (i.e. given our loving attention) as opposed to resolving serious problems. When a person talks, we listen. It’s just being socially normal, no big deal. And maybe it’s God preparing us to be better listeners. Listening is engaged loving. So it’s about love and not about whether what you hear is right or wrong. “The floor is yours.”

If you just give your mind permission to speak fully, it’ll go silent. (Note: we all did this and that’s exactly what happened. And it’s happened every since I’ve returned, too. I notice chatter and give it my attention, and there’s silence. Crickets. It just wants attention, like a little kid.)

Same with hatred, when given permission to hate fully, we’ll get bored after a minute or so. A big part of feeling hatred is that we don’t have permission to, like it’s taboo. And we’re not talking about acting out on it, but just feeling it fully. Hating as much as we want to in that moment. Knock yourself out. And see what happens, see how long it lasts.

Being an unconditional listener is easy, just letting the person empty out. And it’s easier the more we can listen to ourselves. When we’re rooted in love, we lead with listening. When we don’t need the other person to be interested in us, we find their words to be more interesting. Because I’m already interested in and fascinated by me! So I don’t need it from them.

Cool Q&A from a woman that shattered her wrist. She went to a cabin in the woods for three days to listen to the wrist. It said it was mad at her for being too active. It wanted her to slow down, more “being” and less “doing.” She felt like it was too much, though, and it was taking her life away. He had her do a repeat after me that was really cool. Totally respectful and permissive of the wrist’s feelings. But asking if they can sort of start a new relationship. When the wrist is mad, it’s an opportunity for them to rebuild their relationship. And she appreciates its honesty. It was really cool to see.

Cool Q&A from an energy healer with a bi-polar client that’s not even totally there due to so much medication, but that wants to be healed. And the healer can’t. The client has this darkness that’s big and aggressive, and the healer is hiding behind her masculine mind and “wisdom” to try to prescribe what will help. But it ends up being a pissing contest. Instead, use the feminine and spaciousness and hold it in love. And the clients’ path is her path, too. Maybe she’s not supposed to be healed at this time.

Cool Q&A from a woman trying to forgive herself about abortions many years ago. But then it turned more general, into how she’s a perfectionist, which is nothing more than a misuse of our imagination. And it was a cool part about listening to the mind honestly and without judgment. So the feminine heart listens to the masculine mind. Then that makes the mind feel good, so it marries the heart. Then the heart opens and we see through the eyes of love. And we see it was actually an act of love the whole time (because she was young and not supported and not ready for a child at that time). She had assumed she had done the wrong thing, but she had done the most loving thing.

For spiritual folks, let’s take a vacation from checking in so much and asking, “How am I doing?” Because it’s an invitation to micromanage and judge at a ridiculous level. We’re already hyper-aware! So that question is for other people on their path, not us (we’ve already done that).

The divine is already awake in all of us spiritual folks and empaths and energetically sensitive people, it’s just suppressed by a lack of confidence and not trusting ourselves.

Cool Q&A about the dark night of the soul. It was from a woman whose life is being stripped down, one thing at a time. Relationships, job, etc. It’s the last stage of the dark night of the soul, in which God is saying to simplify and walk with me – let go of all else. It’s unraveling the ego’s need to control. Make sure to rest in having all needs met, but only in one moment at a time. Abundance is already there and waiting on the other side of this process. The old paradigm is dissolving and making room for the new to emerge in full.

Abundant thinking: when we lose something, ask what is life preparing me to receive? Loss is always an initiation.

Note that this is all pointing to how is life helping me? How has life gotten this right? And that’s the theme of the retreat.

Notes: Matt Kahn Retreat, Thursday PM

Posted Posted in My Stories, Spirituality/Religion

Here we go, the notes pretty much straight up. My initial impressions are written up here in case you want some context, super interesting stuff… And I’ll probably write plenty of posts later that expound upon this material, because there’s just so much here, very dense. He seems to drop bombs every time he opens his mouth. And I’ll publish them in several posts (as I get around to doing it!), since there’s so much. Enjoy!

This was the opening session on Thursday night from 7:30-9:30. My original flight to San  Jose, CA had me arriving early that afternoon, and I got a notice a couple of days before departure saying it had been cancelled. The airline automatically re-routed me to San Francisco, which is much farther away from the retreat center, and late at night so that I’d miss the opening session. There was a button saying to click for other flight options, so I clicked it. Lo and behold, there was another flight leaving later that arrived to San Jose around 6:30. I had no checked bags, and they have Uber drivers lined up at the airport. I made it to the retreat center, 1440 Multiversity, by about 7:25. I checked in and made my way to the auditorium just a few minutes after he had started. And keep in mind that this guy has been blowing me away for a while now, but since last summer I’ve been listening to his past retreats non-stop. I know first-hand how ridiculously powerful they are, so the feeling was quite surreal that I was actually there, making my way to the auditorium, about to be there in person.

NOTE: He uses certain words interchangeably: the Universe, Source, Life, God, Light, the Divine. If you have any baggage with a certain word or words, just pick one that works for you! The last thing we ever want to get hung up on is a word, as I’ve done a million times before. It’s just a symbol, so always look at what the speaker is pointing to rather than what your meaning is. Because they’re often not the same. And they’re the one that said it anyway. This is such an important thing to be aware of as humans that are always in communication with one another. Okay, here we go…

The theme of the retreat is the title of his upcoming book, How Everything Is Here To Help Us. Everything that comes our way is a gift. And we don’t have to like it. We might want to start to get on the same page as what Life wants for us, though. Because its plan is probably going to win…

Do your best to see the Divine/Light in everyone. Especially those that hurt others and also those that have been hurt, because sometimes it’s not easy to see that they’re God, too. And they’re in the process of awakening just like everyone else.

You’re the only one in your life that has to change. Everyone else is in charge of themselves. Ask what Life is asking you to change.

To stop the pain, we have to go through it honestly. “Yes, I hate this. This sucks.” Or whatever is honest for you. Don’t blame God and don’t ask why, though. It’s a gift. It’s medicine. It’s the fine print before incarnating on earth: pain is a part of growth. Just like after we eat, we have to digest the food. Eating is more fun than digesting. And if we eat a lot, like a whole pizza, it might be great at the time but the digesting part won’t be fun. Same with integrating big spiritual experiences and insights.

The four stages of ego unraveling (not in order) are frustration, loneliness, boredom, and confusion. We just love whatever arises (i.e. the lonely one, the bored one, etc.). Nothing wrong is happening. In fact, it’s right, because all are simply parts of the awakening process.

To love these four, start by simply saying, “I’m here for you.” That’s the beginning of love. Say, “I may not always agree with you, but I’ll never turn my back on you. I’m here for you.” And let the unraveling happen.

Thus we begin to end the war within ourselves by loving the ego. It’s only been trying to protect the inner child, after all. Even when it wants something that’s not good for us, say, “No we’re not going to do that, but thanks for letting me know how you feel.” It’s so honest and permissive. Thus we become love’s guarantee and not the one looking for a guarantee of love. Bam!

The part of you that doesn’t understand in any moment can’t understand. Just let it unravel by loving it. Breathe. It’s not supposed to understand.

It’s ironic that the most selfish thing, the ego, is on the most selfless journey of dissolving to make more room for the soul to come into the body.

Boredom is saying that it’s time for the ego to slow down. Whenever there’s a lack of stimulation, the ego thinks it’s not being valued. And loneliness is underneath all of the other three. Say to the part of you that feels lonely, “I will never leave you.” And by not abandoning loneliness in that manner (i.e. by loving the part of you that feels lonely), you don’t have to be afraid of losing anyone or anything. We’re always gaining and losing stuff. Loss is inevitable but we don’t have to fear it. It’s always making room for something bigger. What do I have to lose in order to gain what I want?

He finished the night by having us constantly say, “Thank God I’m me.” And appreciate that we’re so awake in consciousness. That we feel. That we care. Even though it’s been painful, we’re finally making peace with that. Also we’ve been always wanting to commune with Oneness, but Oneness came to earth to be an individual. And that’s us. “Thank God I’m me.” And we were to say that all the time to ourselves until the next morning. Feels so good!