After that synchronistic lunch I told you about a while back, I guess I should tell you about when the same thing happened regarding a coffee shop several months ago. I guess I was either a slacker or something shiny came along and got my attention at the same time that I was going to sit down to write about it. Good thing for keeping lists of blog topics…
So I was going through a fierce bout of trying to switch from espresso to tea, which happens from time to time. When I do this, tea will usually gain some ground and then espresso will shake it off like a dog shaking off a case of fleas. It’s pretty funny to observe, to be honest.
Side note: I’ll be writing about a guy named Matt Kahn pretty soon and how we try so hard to change certain behaviors (like the coffee or tea), when we’re actually putting the cart before the horse. In the meantime, feel free to check out the first 23:30 (or more) of this video: http://bit.ly/1RKSDGm. Warning: you might end up totally in love with this dude as I am now, along with some of the folks with whom I’ve shared it. He’s hilarious, too. Highly recommended. Again, I’ll be writing about what he’s saying in detail very soon. Back to the story…
So green tea was winning at this particular time, and I was driving to work one morning. And I had this really strong feeling to go to one of the many excellent cafes we have here in Pensacola (I’d name it, but I don’t want to incriminate anyone, as you’ll see). The angel and devil made an appearance on my shoulders, and I thought about being strong and heading to the office and going with the tea. But that feeling was just extra strong, and a bit different from the normal coffee addiction feeling. So I said screw it, I’m going with the feeling, and I went to the coffee shop. By the way, and this is SO important, I also declared that I’m absolutely not going to feel guilty about it! I’m owning this decision and moving on to have a totally awesome day. No nagging going on in my head about it. Done and done.
So I went there, and the reason for the feeling was apparent right away – the barista had just broken up with her longtime boyfriend and really had the blues. And if you can’t tell, I’m pretty friendly, so I usually get to know the folks who work at the places I frequent. And based on some of the details of the dude’s actions and how it all went down, she was pissed. And she was WAY in her head. And the pain was strong. And my readers know very well that “way in the head” and “the pain was strong” go together like a…
Wow, I jumped into that analogy like jumping out of a plane with no parachute. I thought there was some standard one I knew, but nothing came out. I just googled it, in fact, and there are lots of sayings. And none of them was the one. Peanut butter and jelly? Horse and carriage? A wink and a smile? Nope. Oh, well. I think you get the point.
So I talked to her some just as a friend and not as Counselor Guy, but this stuff is part of my life. That’s why I went back to school and created this gig in the first place. This is real life, real stuff. If someone is making things a thousand times worse by listening to this voice in their head that’s loud, mean, critical, talking fast, makes no sense, and seems to be coming from outside of them… And it’s optional! And they’re the one doing the talking!! I can’t just sit there and watch it. So I have no idea if hanging out there for a while helped her or not, because it was so fresh and raw, but it was pretty clear where that espresso feeling came from. “Go spread a little bit of love to this person and then go about the rest of your day.” And yes, they have tea there, too. That wasn’t happening, though… So once again, follow the feeling. Follow the feeling and see where it leads. Practice this like you practice anything else that’s new. For just two weeks, even! And take notes. Because following the feeling is where the magic is.