Well folks, it’s that time of year again… The Holidays! So here’s your 2017 Guide To The Holidays. This might be the earliest it’s ever come out, in fact. Last year it might’ve even come out after Thanksgiving. Not good. Let me check… [checking]… Umm, even worse, there was no 2016 Guide. The 2015 Guide was the one that came after Thanksgiving. My, how time flies… Anyway, I think we’re doing a great job this year, so let’s get this party started.
So what can we expect this year for our Holiday Guide? You guessed it, a huge dose of self-love. It’s been a big year for us, since A Clean Mind 3.0 emerged this summer. And it’s all about loving the one inside that shows up in any moment and is having a tough time. Love is the most powerful stuff there is, so it only makes sense that that’s what we’d be using on a moment-to-moment basis as needed to heal our hearts. That’s why this work can be so transformative, and often so fast, considering the huge shifts we’re making. So if love is that powerful, and if we’re learning how to use it pretty darn skillfully with ourselves and with our hearts, then that’s what we’re going to use during the holidays in case things get dicey. And for many people, if not for most, things absolutely will get dicey. Because they’re the holidays! So bring it on. Because we got this.
First of all, note that we have eight previous Holiday Guides: 2012 General, 2012 Thanksgiving, 2012 Christmas, 2013 Thanksgiving, 2013 Christmas, 2014 General, 2014 Special Edition: Being With Bad Family, 2015 Christmas. Wow, I had no idea. So you are very supported. You can also click Archives on this blog, scroll down, and find gems like Dealing With A**holes from November 2012. Fortunately that was written before the world ended later that year. And wow, I see that I published sixteen blog posts that month. Maybe I was preparing for the apocalypse, but it’s more likely I just didn’t have many clients yet and had nothing else to do. And wow, how this work has transformed since then! I could never have imagined this. And my, how I have transformed as well. What on earth will 2022 look like? That’s another five years away. Maybe those flying cars from The Jetsons will finally be here. Back to the holidays…
So the main thing we’re doing is loving our hearts whenever it’s needed. We can expect family to do what family does best, which is to remind us of the past. To define us by the past. To hold us to the past. It’s usually not even conscious, so don’t even worry about it. Just get really curious, and have an attitude like, “Wow, I wonder how this year’s going to be? Maybe it’ll be awesome! But maybe it’ll be a total train wreck!! I’m going to just buckle up and enjoy the ride. Because I’m going to do my best, and I’m going to love myself through whatever happens. And when it’s over, I’m going to gently look back and see how it went, and with absolutely no self-judgment; only self-love. And I might even talk to someone like Ashley to help me grow faster so it’s not so painful in future years. And then I’ll have a long break, and then bring on next year’s holidays. Because I got this.” Doesn’t that feel good? That’s an excellent attitude right there, very healthy. And very realistic and honest, too…
Two things come to mind to talk about now. One is how amazing it is when you’ve de-powered evil family members that used to hold great power over you. And you get to a place where you honestly feel sorry for them. They’re in such pain, and they might know it or might not. But they’ve never dealt with it, and you were always a convenient target, so they tried to put their pain out on you. They’ve abused you. They’ve neglected you. They’ve mistreated you. And you never deserved it. But then something miraculous happens. You learn this stuff that we talk about, and you practice it, and eventually the balance of power starts to shift. It comes back to you. Because it’s actually yours, and it’s been yours all along. It’s just that nobody told you that when you were a kid. And you know what, it’s okay to be angry about it! Love the angry one, and tell him or her that since there’s no time machine to go back and try to change things, we’re going to do our best to master it now. That’s all we can do. But man, it sure starts to feel good when the same things that would’ve destroyed you in the past don’t even create a feeling in your body except one of sorrow and sadness – not for you, but for them. It is sad. But some people are just not ready to deal with their stuff. Which brings us to the next point (and that segue was not planned… I love it when that happens).
It’s the analogy of the seed and the flower that I heard from Matt Kahn that I think I’ve mentioned before. The universe is in charge of timing, and the universe is actually really smart. So if something’s a seed, it’s supposed to be a seed; it’s not supposed to be a flower yet. Period. And I’m sorry if somebody else’s “seed-ness,” or spiritual immaturity, has affected you in a negative way, or even in a traumatic way. Thanks God for healing. I work with lots of the people that have been affected, perhaps by abusive parents, and I know that it can be very painful. And in many cases, these folks are seeing me decades later to heal. But you know what? They are healing! They are healing, and that feels so good. I mean, it feels amazing for me, so I can’t even imagine how it feels for them. So there is hope for you. But as for family members that’s just aren’t the best people, they’re still seeds. And it’s not your job to know when they’re supposed to bloom into flowers. This doesn’t mean you have to let them mistreat you, though. So do your best with that and see someone like me to help prepare yourself if that feels right. But loving yourself through it by loving your heart the second it notifies you that it needs it, through a feeling of pain, will help more than anything else I know. And it’ll give you the strength to respect yourself and your boundaries, and to communicate that as needed. This self-love stuff really does lead to some serious power, folks.
So here’s to the 2017 Holidays. Even if you feel like an alien in your family. Like, how did I incarnate with these people?? There’s actually a reason, but it sounds a bit woo-woo for this blog. So come in if you want to talk about that. (As a hint, it means you’re actually a badass). But using what we talk about here, you got this. Bring it on, because you got this.
And a note to my family, if any of them are reading this: you’re amazing! Seriously, I came into a pretty awesome family, where people were either already pretty well-developed or they took care of their stuff when they needed to. I work with so many people, though, and I help them with their families, so I can say for sure that this stuff works. Oh – and if at any time you revert back to feeling like you’re a ten-year-old, go to the self-love big time! That’s just old stuff coming up to be released. If super old feelings, super old energies, come up, then good riddance. It’s literally old energetic debris leaving your system, that’s all. The cells of your body are being freed of some very old garbage. A 250-pound backpack is being removed from your back. Yay! And you can look back afterwards to see what it took to trigger you that much, work on it, and then see what happens next year. And the intelligence of the universe will give you the exact practice that you need during the time in between. So we can relax into this whole thing and let it happen. You got this, and as always, I’m here to help if I can.