The Edge

Hello folks, let’s talk about The Edge. And no, I don’t mean the guitarist for U2. Even though I just saw them in New Orleans ya heard, woohoo!! It was awesome. They apparently have the biggest LED screen in the world, running the width of the entire stage behind them. Inside of a huge football stadium where very few bands can play because it’s so massive… Wow. Whatever your opinions are of massive screens, it can make for a pretty powerful visual effect. And the band was great. Beck was the opener, and he was awesome as well. He had an amazing band, too. And when he introduced the band members one by one at the end of their set, they’d launch into a snippet of a well known cover tune featuring that musician. So it was this awesome collection of perfectly played covers, and just for a minute or two each. Perfect Rolling Stones tune for the amazing lead guitarist. But I’m telling you this because when it was time for the drummer, this huge beast of a man (“beast” is actually a huge compliment in my language), they played In The Air Tonight by Phil Collins, starting with that iconic drum fill. You know the one. Legendary drum fill. I was so pumped. Back to the story of The Edge…

The Edge is basically the edge of where you feel comfortable. I mentioned it in a recent post called Don’t Be Sorry, Be Specific. In that case, we were talking about how there’s this edge where many people feel comfortable being honest with another.┬áThere comes a point at which you might feel an uncomfortable feeling in your body being honest and open. For many, it’s that you don’t like hurting another person’s feelings. Letting them down. Feeling responsible for their feelings. Which is all actually crazy! Because sometimes that’s a part of their path, and that’s what it takes for them to grow. But I know that either I came in programmed like that, or I learned it at a very young age. So I’m pushing my edge in this area. And it does come from a good place, wanting everything to be roses. So that’s good. But that’s not reality…

So we learn about our edge. For someone that experiences social anxiety, it could be the edge of where they feel comfortable in a social setting. The library might be okay, but the mall is out of the question. And a restaurant might fall somewhere in between, with some restaurants being more doable than others. For someone with a fear of heights, they might be cool on a porch three feet above the ground, but then they start to feel less comfortable as the height increases. And the rooftop porch might be out of the question. Someone that gets anxious while driving might be cool on back roads or even on smaller city roads but not on the interstate or highway. And there’s this grey zone in between where the tension rises as the road and traffic grow. You get the picture.

The edge of where we’re comfortable shows up in any situation, so let’s talk about what it is. It is energy. So it moves and expands! Bam. So when someone starts to feel their edge, it might feel like a pressure in the body somewhere. It could feel like a cringe. Or a wall. Or a pit in the throat or stomach. When people feel this, they usually retreat, and they are usually not calm about it (internally, and often externally as well). The mind is saying, “No! Danger! Don’t go there! Stop!!!”

So what’s the other option? That’s right, you might’ve guessed it… Breathe. Breathe into it. Give it some attention, but not with a bunch of thinking and analysis. It’s just energy, and it will open and move. Breathe into it, relax into it, be open yet strong. Do you want to push your edge a little bit? Or a lot? Because you have that option now, now that you know what’s going on. You’re feeling your thinking, and your thinking is freaking out. But your wisdom might say, “Wait, I’m safe. This is okay. Let me explore this. Let me explore my edge a little bit.” And you relax the body, and the edge expands. You start to live this way, noticing the edge and immediately breathing into it and staying out of your head and in your deeper breath. And what’s more, you’re giving yourself some major love for being brave and feeling into your edge! And that feels really good… And it’s legit, because what you’re doing now is important. Because it can change your life.

It can change your life because all of a sudden you might proceed in situations in which you would’ve retreated before. And some of those things that you couldn’t do in the past become less and less of a big deal. And you can do so much more now, and you feel so much freer, and you see that wow, you were living in such a prison before! And the prison walls were merely energies in your body, coming from your thinking and from your past. And you’ve learned how to melt those walls, expanding them more and more with time. So cool.

I love when people come into my office, learn about this, and then return not believing that certain things were a big deal before. I remember someone talking about OCD tendencies, and one of them was that the volume of the car stereo couldn’t be on odd numbers. So volume levels 16 and 18 were fine, but not 17. I had her sit in her car after the session, put it on 17, and breathe. Problem solved. She felt a massive cringe, of course, as her body was freaking out. But breathing means her mind was not. Just “inhale… exhale… ” a few times. And the body calms down. Why? Because the edge just expanded some.

So there we go folks, that was the tale of The Edge. This is really cool. And never beat yourself up if you have trouble with this or feel like you can’t proceed! Because that’s fine; it’s a process just like everything that we talk about here. Anytime you even think about it, you’re peeling layers. Timing is always perfect, and you’re playing your role beautifully. And nobody can do YOU any better, because they are not you. You couldn’t mess up being you if you tried. So allow those edges to be where they are now, and let their expansion unfold naturally. But knowing about the edge – knowing exactly what it is and what it is made of – is huge. Important information! So enjoy, and happy exploring. And as always, let me know if I can help.