More Gumbo

Posted Posted in My Stories

I wrote a post called The Gumbo back in February 2017 and another called Those Constant, Background Gumbo Ingredients shortly thereafter. Those are great, and they’re very useful to understand for any of us humans. But this one has nothing to do with them, this one actually has to do with real gumbo. And more importantly, it has to do with the intelligent, connected universe and surrender. You see, I wrote about The Twelve Minute Session! recently, and it was a great story about a client and what he was going through. There’s another side to it, though, which is about me and what was going on in my life at the time. Think about this as what they call lagniappe over in Louisiana and beyond, which basically means “a little something extra.” Because it’s nothing earth shattering, but it’s just sort of cool and worth sharing. Here we go…

So this was a Friday afternoon, and I was leaving straight from work and driving a couple of hours away to my friend’s annual birthday weekend on Bay St. Louis over in Mississippi with a bunch of old friends from New Orleans. They’d be arriving shortly after lunch, so I was itching to leave as soon as I could. And I could’ve done a better job of scheduling myself off that afternoon, since I’m my own boss and all. My boss is such a jerk… So this was my last session of the day, and I had a thirty-minute window before it, in between sessions. I’m always in charge of bringing the gumbo to this affair, and I get it from Captain Joey Patti’s Seafood Deli, which is run by my good friend Charlie. I love this guy! He’s so awesome. And this place is not to be confused with Joe Patti’s World Famous Seafood Market next door; they’re relatives, of course. Hey, I always have to plug lovely Pensacola…

So I’m picking up a gallon and a half of frozen gumbo, which means it should be put on ice right away. I had a tight window to pick up the gumbo, take it home and put it in the freezer, and then come back to the office to do the final session. Then I’d go home, grab the gumbo (and some shrimp that I already had on ice), and roll. And the final session was with a new client, so I thought it would be 90 minutes long (or close to it). So the gumbo really did have to be taken care of in that half hour window. But not according to the universe!

It was a bit busy at the restaurant when I got there, so I was delayed in getting the goods and paying for it all. They did nothing wrong, it’s just a popular place! And Charlie’s not always there, but he was, and as I was getting ready to leave they called him up to say hi. So we were catching up, and he’s super nice, and he always puts extra fish and shrimp in my gumbo. I get it for a family feast over the holidays every year, too, so there are usually two times a year when I’m getting at least a gallon. Anyway, I can’t just say I have to leave, because that would be rude. Plus he’s super nice and he’s my friend, and I like hearing what he’s been up to. He has some cool projects going on that I’m legitimately interested in. The moral of the story is that there’s no way I’m going to make it home and back to the office in time for that last session. And this was made crystal clear, too. No way, no how, no chance. The entire universe is saying that I’ll be driving back to my office with a bunch of frozen gumbo, it’s part of the plan, and I don’t have to know the plan. This was all so clear. And it was super interesting that I knew what was up while it was happening. I didn’t know why or even necessarily like it, but I knew what was up.

So I get back to my office, and I don’t have many options. A hot car in Florida in June isn’t the best place for gumbo, so the best I can do is put it inside the office, behind my chair where my client won’t even see it. So I put it there. It’s frozen so it should be fine, and even if it starts to thaw it’ll be put on ice right away and all good. But still, I have no idea why the gumbo had to be handled this way. I did know, however, that I had chosen the best option out of those available. What are your options and which feels best? That’s how we go through life. And the gumbo would be fine until I got to my friend’s house anyway, so all good. Still, though, I was curious. Then fast forward twelve minutes, and we’re done! Ahh, the universe was saying don’t worry about it, this session won’t even last very long. In no time flat, I’m driving home to get the rest of my stuff and roll, and more than an hour ahead of schedule at that. Hilarious. That sneaky universe…

NOTE: This bears repeating… that we’re learning to live our lives by staying as relaxed as possible. And when situations arise, we look at our options. And we choose the one that feels best. And then we keep on rolling. Wash, rinse, repeat. What are my options? Which feels best? Done. A+

I think I told my client this back story to illustrate the intelligent, connected universe (ICU) and how it works. And off we both went on our own adventures. And the weekend was awesome, nobody got sunburned, and we had a great time living “the bay life.” Or should I say #baylife. So there you go, you never know why the gumbo might have to sit on your office floor, but there’s always a reason. And the more we let that reason come to us, the better we feel and the smoother life becomes. Because we aren’t fighting it and questioning it so much. And as these experiences pile up in our lives, we begin to have more and more of a trust, a calmness that of course it’s working out how it’s supposed to. Always. And by gently practicing what we talk about here at A Clean Mind, we’re well on our way.

Talk This Friday!

Posted Posted in My Stories

Hi folks, I’ll be giving this new talk for the fourth time this Friday at Breathe Yoga in Pensacola, Scenic location, from 7-8:30. And so far they’ve rocked! And it’s never occurred to me that I should obviously advertise them here at the very place where I write about this stuff. Because some people aren’t on Facebook, and they don’t have to be!

It’s a talk about exactly what we write about here, so it’s nothing new. Wait, actually there is new stuff. If you’re empathic or energetically sensitive then there’s some life changing stuff. And I haven’t figured out how to talk about it here yet, as I’ve been expanding the woo-woo factor on this blog. Because hey, it’s totally a woo-woo universe; just check out quantum physics. So there’s that.

So come on, I’d love to see you there. And it’s a small, intimate space, so get your tickets here if you’re interested. Peace out 🙂

New Talk: Welcome To The New Spirituality!

Posted Posted in My Stories, Spirituality/Religion

I had the best time Wednesday night giving a new talk called “Welcome To The New Spirituality!” It was at a lovely place in Fairhope, AL called From The Center. And I say this a lot, but it’s just such an honor and a massive joy to share this way of living in which we learn to be our own best friend instead of a critic or enemy. It’s called loving what arises, and it’s the fastest way that I know of to heal the heart. And then we combine that with learning to flow with life, which already has a customized plan for our most efficient growth into the best version of ourselves we can possibly be. Read that again… So I’m writing here to summarize what we talked about as well as to provide links for some of the things that I mentioned. And I thought that instead of emailing it to my new friends that were there, why not post it here? So buckle up, because it’s pretty long. But it covers everything, and it’ll be a great resource or road map that’ll be there to serve you at anytime. It’s also been a great exercise for me to write this out, since I want to start getting this in compact forms like books, apps, and online products. It’s time to blast out 5D!

This is pretty much the same talk that I’m going to start giving all around Pensacola, and then I hope to branch out from there. I have two scheduled already, at Wild Lemon and at Breathe Yoga, and I’ll be giving more information on those as they draw near. Also I have contacts all over the southeast, and it’s a catchy title, and Facebook works wonders for getting people there! It’s interesting how my being so social all my life is looking like it’ll come into play to help spread a ton of light all these years later. That darn universe, so smart… Also, this talk can be de-woowoo-ified by calling it something like Peace Is Actually Here Now!, which will be more appropriate for certain venues and audiences. Hey, not everyone has to be into 5D! But the core of it all, loving what arises, is for everyone. That plus knowing that the universe is always helping us grow. That’s our one-two punch.

Now onto the talk… I started by saying let’s all just relax and breathe and be in “receiver mode.” Let what wants to sink in sink in. It’s no different than sitting and watching a movie and just taking it in, as opposed to trying to understand and “get it” and figure things out. If that happens naturally, then great. Otherwise, just breathe. Breathe and be dumb! Breathe and drool. Because the truth is that you end up so much smarter that way…

Also know that confusion is often a good thing when it comes to deep stuff like this. It means the small mind is getting blown, and that’s exactly what we want. Because a bigger and better mind is right there, ready to take its place. I’ve been calling that your “wisdom” all these years, and “plain old common sense” will do, too. It’s the quieter voice that’s always there. And let’s face it, it’s smarter… I also said that since the group had varying backgrounds and degrees of woowoo, if something doesn’t feel right or doesn’t make sense then all good, it’s simply a sign to breathe and relax. Wait for the next thing, no big deal. A big part of the talk is about how we’re all EXACTLY how we’re supposed to be, right now! Because the universe is so smart that if it wanted us to be “further along” then we already would be… So it’s literally all good.

With the stage set, we jumped right in with the question, “Who are we?” And the answer… angels in training! Okay, that sounds pretty good. Next up was, “Why are we here?” To help spruce this place up. To come down to help raise the vibration of an entire planet. That’s right, an entire freaking planet. To come and heal this place for the benefit of all. And yes, it’s a very big deal! That’s why the idea of judging ourselves and beating ourselves up is utterly ridiculous. In fact, we’re the LAST people that deserve that. It’s like we were looking down at earth and thinking, “Wow, it’s such a beautiful and lovely planet… But, umm, what the hell is up with those humans?? They fight with each other and do mean things. You know what, let’s hop into some bodies and go down there and fix it! Who’s with me?” And… I’m not sure how many answered the call, maybe just those of us that were crazy enough to do it. And I am honored to be one of those crazies! And now we’re banding together and learning what we actually are. And after a while it feels really, really good.

Then we talked about how we heal and transform a planet. The answer is really cool: we do it by hopping into a body and healing and transforming that one body, that one individual, that one person. You. You transform yourself. And by the principle of oneness or unity consciousness (which is what 5D means), any and all individual healing goes out to the collective. This path is very “divinely selfish,” and because of unity consciousness that means it’s actually very self-less. That’s oneness in action, folks, very cool. So if you’re doing anything better than your parents or those that came before you were able to do, then you’re actually healing and clearing it out of the whole lineage. You’re doing what those that came before you were not able to do, because you can! And that’s why you’re here. And yes, that’s means you’re a badass, and it’s okay to own that and be proud of it…

So you don’t have to be a yoga or meditation master or have the shiniest chakras (although that’s all perfectly good and awesome, for real). That’s not the focus of the new paradigm, though; it can be an effect, but it’s certainly not the cause (and there’s great confusion around this on the spiritual path as we transition from 4D to 5D, and this confusion causes many people to question themselves and beat themselves up). Do you know how many of my clients, for instance, were abused by a parent or parents? And while not condoning it, they can see clearly that their parents were just not able to act in any other way. They also see that their grandparents did it to their parents and so on, up the chain. And I ask them if they’ve ever abused their children. Do you know what they say? “No way, never! I told myself a long time ago that I’d NEVER do that. There’s just no way that that I could, no way. It’s not even possible.” And I point out, often with a tear in my eye, the bigness of what they’ve actually done. They’ve done their part to clear abuse out of their lineage and off the planet. And I say, “Thank you!” Because again, it’s a very big deal. So that’s how we transform a planet, by transforming ourselves.

So we’ve talked about how we’re angels in training that incarnated to raise the vibration of a planet, and we’re transforming the collective by healing and transforming ourselves. Next is, who’s running the show? Why, it’s the universe! Or God or Source, you get the idea. As I said above, it already knows the most efficient path for how we can become the most amazing versions of ourselves. This means lots of light or soul inhabits the body, so our energy fields have to be cleared of all the emotional debris from the past. This is huge, because it explains why we feel crappy sometimes (trust me, it doesn’t last forever). The universe triggers us intentionally as an opportunity to heal the past. Because when we’re emotionally triggered, it’s all about the past and not whatever has triggered us. The present trigger is actually just a pawn of the universe. Now, don’t stay in an abusive relationship or that type of unhealthy situation, of course; that’s just common sense. But in general, we’re triggered to give us an opportunity to clear out the old junk we’re carrying to make room for more light to move in. And after a while, there’s nothing left to be triggered. The same things happen that used to cause a visceral response, and that feeling just isn’t there in our body anymore, or it’s a lot less. And in this way, we’re shaped by the universe into an exquisite work of art, one more beautiful than we could ever imagine. The triggers are what buff you out and shine you up into a brilliant, radiant light. And that’s why we say, “Universe, have no mercy on me!” And yes, that’s pretty hardcore. I’ve been doing it, though, and so far it rules!

Another way to phrase this is that everything is here to help you. And you know what? That’s actually the title of Matt’s second book! What a coincidence… It comes out in June, and I was given an advance copy by a promo person that found my blog, so I’ll be writing a review very soon. But in short, it’s awesome! When we’re always asking, “How is this here to help me?” then we’re seeing life through the soul’s eyes and not the ego’s. Can you feel the difference as you read that, how major this is?? And as we make this shift, life starts to become really magical and exciting rather than super stressful and scary. This is what I wrote about in the post called The Essential Shift (To The Blame-Free Zone).

NOTE: This will be in my post about the new book, but I might as well go ahead and include it here since some of you may be ready. You can pre-order it from Hay House here, and if you do there are some freebbonus gifts. Back to the talk…

We also talked about “hand over your burdens,” which I learned from the retreat that I was just at. It’s in the notes from Day 3, afternoon section. It’s really cool, getting the power of the entire universe involved in helping us handle difficult things in the best possible ways. Hand them over one by one and watch what happens. You’re not ignoring them; you’re just admitting that you need some help. And the universe says, “Thank you, I’ve been waiting for you to ask. Let’s take care of this in an efficient way that benefits all.” Note that you’re also asking, “How is this here to help me?” So you’re making sure to learn whatever it is that the universe wants you to learn; that’s part of the deal.

We also talked about some of the differences between the old spiritual paradigm and this new one (which arrived in full at the big eclipse last August, I believe). The old way, and I’ve written about this before, is very masculine. We’re trying to enlighten ourselves by trying hard and working and doing it right and being in charge and seeking and all of that sort of thing. We’re constantly trying to fix a problem. We’re always working on ourselves, and we’re putting ourselves under a spiritual microscope while we’re doing it. We’re micromanaging our every feeling, thought, action, and intention. Sound familiar? The new paradigm is much more feminine, as we embrace the awakened consciousness that we already are, and we let the universe guide us into embodying it. The universe is in charge, not our ego. Which brings me to the next point of differentiation… if you really look at the old paradigm, the ego is totally in charge! And it’s literally impossible for it to awaken itself. That’s like a caterpillar trying to change into a butterfly while still being a caterpillar. Not. Gonna. Happen. So the new paradigm puts the soul fully in charge, and we do this by always asking, “How is this here to help me?” Gone is the blame and judgment that’s SO rampant in the old way (even though it can be subtle). I sure experienced my fair share of that… Who, me? Yep, a freaking ton. I have so much gratitude because this feels SO much better.

We talked somewhere along the line about being empathic or energetically sensitive, which Matt does the best job of anyone I know. He’s as empathic as it gets, and he’s mastered it. Much of the stuff on sensitives that I’ve seen really treats us like energetic wimps, even though it can be subtle. This stuff helps you see that you’re actually the strong one; you’re a badass! Afraid of nothing. In fact, darkness is afraid of you. Read that again! The big picture is this – you are the light that’s always clearing stuff; that’s just what the energy field of an empath does, and there’s no turning it off. So you’re this badass ball of light that’s clearing lower vibrational stuff all the time, wherever you go. So here’s the big question… Do you identify with the light that’s clearing stuff, or do you identify with the stuff that’s being cleared? Since nobody ever told you this (because we’re in a transitional time and it’s so new), you’ve probably been identifying with the sludge. No more. And we talked about how when you feel yourself shrinking or cowering, you can actually breathe IN that stuff and breathe out light and blessings for the planet. You’re naturally an energetic converter or transmuter, raising low stuff to step it up in vibration. What?? That’s right… Because you are the one that sends it home. I know this is different… Also send me your email (anyone) and I’ll put you on the huge Dropbox folder I made with lots of extra mind-blowing talks by Matt. Several of them explain exactly this. Just read the text file I put in there called READ THIS! and it explains the tracks. These are the ones I was listening to and my head exploded, usually within the first ten minutes. And I was thinking, “I have to share this with people!!” So I created this Dropbox folder.

We closed with two cool little experiences, some folks with eyes open and some with eyes closed. First, we relaxed into our breath and asked what this moment would be like if we weren’t anticipating anything? Just this moment, not forever. What if it were fine to want stuff, but that all takes time to unfold. Is peace actually already here now? What if we didn’t tie our peace to having whatever it is that we want to be different? Maybe those changes are on their way, but it takes time for things to unfold; that’s reality. So maybe we can have peace in the meantime. Maybe peace is actually here all along, sitting in the background as the space in which all other states come and go. Hmmm… And it felt really awesome. We might’ve also slipped in a super powerful one here, and that’s asking what if how I am now is exactly how I’m supposed to be, right now in this moment? That includes all perceived faults, imperfections, etc. What if this is EXACTLY how I’m supposed to be now?? How do you know it’s not? After all, that’s a really big assumption. So cool…

Then the final thing got a bit weirder. But it’s so cool. It’s the coolest thing to me now, in fact, and it comes from the track in the Dropbox called Unobjectified Feeling. And it’s hilarious, too – you really have to listen to how he does it. The audience can only laugh because he’s totally moved their minds out of the way. Gone. Again, we had some with eyes open and some with eyes closed. And we pondered what life would be like if we didn’t consider ourselves to be a person with a name, a past, tendencies, etc. What if we were just the breath, sitting in a chair and breathing now? Our name is breath, our occupation is breath, our age is breath. We simply go through life breathing. And as experiences come, we handle them. And we keep breathing and we move on. The experiences are what they are without being some big thing with a story and a bunch of meaning. We handle it as best we can, and we move on. And the consensus was pretty much that this would be a huge upgrade! Life would be so much simpler. We’d feel way better, and we’d handle situations way better, too. Anyway, we might talk about this more in future posts. Matt says “me” is M.E. = My Experience. So we breathe and we have experiences. And we handle them. No judgment about what they mean. Whoa. Listen to that track and then tell me how you feel. It’s so crazy that the audience can only laugh. Because their minds are all blown. In fact, he has them look for their mind. Can’t find one! He has them look for their past. Can’t find it! So funny… If you want to try right now, close your eyes and try to find your mind or your past. In fact, find who or where you are while you’re at it. There’s just space. Awesome.

I also mentioned some things I’ve written about before, like the Energetic Vacuum Cleaner, How To Spill A Smoothie, Women Rising Up!, and The Slow Way Is The Fast Way. You can always click Archives to see all the posts, since there are so many of them. Know, though, that my big shift with the “loving what arises” stuff was last summer (July 2017). So as things get earlier than that, there’s lots of great stuff but I’ve definitely shifted a ton. So keep that in mind. But still, there should be lots that can be helpful. It’s been a wild journey! And fast, too, all things considered…

Finally, here are some resources about Matt Kahn. Send me your email (again, anyone) if you want the tracks in the Dropbox folder. Highly recommended… His YouTube channel is amazing, and they’ve already posted a video from the last day of the retreat that I was at two weeks ago. That video is called The Power Of Self Responsibility. His first book is Whatever Arises, Love That, and that’s the foundation for everything, an entire book about it. And the second book, Everything Is Here To Help You, comes out in June. As I said above, I was given an advance copy to review and it’s pretty awesome. These two concepts are literally how I work with my clients everyday. And of course myself! That’s always where it all starts, it has to be. An overview of how he works comes from my initial impressions from the first retreat of his that I went to back in January, here. I’d definitely check that out for some background. And all my notes are posted after that, very interesting. Then my impressions from this second retreat are here, and the notes follow. Finally, he’s doing a book tour with Hay House over the next six months, and you can live stream it for super cheap. It’s done on his website, right at the top. If you want a taste, go here and watch the little two minute intro video and you’ll see why I love this guy! It’s very, very potent stuff.

So enjoy! And never hesitate to reach out if I can help in any way. Again, it’s an honor and a pleasure to connect with you, and it’s time to let the world know that there’s a new way. There’s nothing wrong with the old way except that it’s outdated now. It’s old and long and slow and more painful. We can heal and grow faster now than ever before, allowing life to do what it wants to us to allow our highest potential to emerge. And the whole thing is honestly pretty ridiculous (that’s a really good word to me, by the way). We have to allow life to trigger us to clear out our emotional bodies, though, but when you get the hang of it it gets better and better. And you’ll even start to say, “No mercy, bring it on.” Then you’ll know you really are one of the crazies that came down here to raise the vibration of a planet. And it’s high time we get the band back together. Until the next time, I wish you all the best. And as always, let me know if I can help.

Notes: Matt Kahn Retreat, Days 4 & 5

Posted Posted in My Stories, Spirituality/Religion

Hello again. These are my final notes from Matt Kahn’s 5-day Standing For Love retreat (they’ll have the audio for sale in July). It was at the World Forestry Center in lovely Portland, OR on April 25-29, 2018. You can read my general, mind-blown impressions here. Because it was freaking insane!!! Okay, I had to get that out of my system… But seriously, it was craaaazy!!! I guess there was a bit more…

His retreats (and everything he does) always unfold intuitively, based on what the universe deems necessary for that situation at that time. It’s so cool to watch because it just happens, it just comes through. He said that this retreat ended up having a theme for each day. Day four was Saturday, and the theme was Relationships. That was a big day for everyone… The planet needs healing around this so much, so it packed quite a massive charge. And day five was Sunday, a shorter day, and the theme was Self-Responsibility. Which was perfectly appropriate for releasing us back into the wild as we set out to take our brand new selves back home!

Saturday 4/28/18 am (Relationship Day)

We had an amazing session! We did these huge repeat-after-me group clearings with the men first and then the women and then both. HUGE releases for so many people. Lots of emotion running through many of the attendees. Like, primal releases and sobs. For a long time. The men went first to ask the women for forgiveness for all the atrocities and abuses of power, etc. over the centuries. And the woman said yes. And I forgot what the women’s was, to which the men said yes. I mean, hey, I had enough on my plate with our own stuff! But whatever it was, I wholeheartedly agreed. And then altogether, men and women, the gist was that we’re healing everything from the past that’s gender-related and moving into a whole, healed, balanced future. With the men embracing the feminine within and the women embracing the masculine within (like my post from a free years ago, Women Rising Up!). Anyway, this was a major group healing.

NOTE: when I’m saying “men” and “women,” it’s really referring to masculine and feminine energies. So it could be in a body of any variety. It’s the energy, not the body. Back to the notes…

For all of us, all the time, act with integrity no matter what. I’m the only one that has to be polite, and no mercy for me. 

To another person, or to your inner child, say, “How may I serve you?” The inner child is actually your soul or “higher self,” which is the whole freaking universe – dressed up as a baby! So when we ask it “How may I serve you?”, the universe sees a master. And then the universe says to us, “How may I serve YOU?” 

Loss is only initiation for more gain. “What am I being prepared to gain?” 

Saturday 4/28/18 afternoon (Relationship Day)

The talked a lot about the tendency and need to be right. The price of being right is that the other person feels unsafe. It’s all about the right to be seen versus the need to be right.

You can even vent without the need for the other person to agree. You just “let it out.” And their job is to literally just stand there. And then you’re done and you move on and have a great day. They don’t have to agree or have any opinion whatsoever. It’s not their stuff, anyway, so let’s let them off the hook. There’s much more peace in a relationship this way. 

When you don’t need to be right, those that do need to be right don’t bother you. If you just let them be right, it’s the end of the dance (even though they’re never really going to be satisfied with anything you say or do).

People can only waste your time when you don’t choose to use it to grow (remember to use the forgiveness process for when you’re triggered).

Talking about bodily illness and symptoms… “May I change my relationship with it?” Look at it as an opportunity. Try to have a different experience with it. What is it inviting me to do or see or change? 

Sunday 4/29/18 am (Self-Responsibility Day)

NOTE: Here’s the link to a video of 90 minutes of this morning session, so you can watch it for yourself! And he goes through the forgiveness process called “Send it Back” several times.

Lots of talk about boundaries… Check in with yourself before saying yes! And you don’t need anybody else’s approval. Only do things for others if you want to AND if you also have it in the tank to give. 

Be caring for others, not their caretaker. The difference is that your peace doesn’t hinge on their healing. That’s their journey. 

The Mirror Teaching 2.0 (for empaths): The good in others mirrors the light of your soul. Their conditioning that doesn’t trigger you is what you’ve healed. If it triggers you, you’re still healing it. 

Narcissists come from emotional neglect. Most people have a tendency to be self-absorbed at some point, to varying degrees, as opposed to self-aware or self-responsible. A narcissist has the inability to consider other people.

Let It Go 2.0 (for empaths): “My feelings matter.” 

NOTE: this is what I was talking about in my recent post about honesty, and especially the follow-up called More Honesty: Don’t Let It Go

When someone triggers you, they’re showing you there’s something in you that’s ready to be healed. So it’s a good thing; embrace it! 

Again, here’s the trigger (forgiveness) process. You’re triggered. How do I feel? Look back to whoever made you feel that way the first time or the most. “I forgive you, and I send it back as blessings for your journey ahead.” Then to the person that triggered you, “Thank you for triggering me” (obviously this can be said silently). Also the very relaxed form of sitting with ourselves that we did Thursday night is great for doing this, as well as for self-awareness and self-responsibility in general. 

Triggered always means there’s another layer that’s ready to be healed. And this process clears our whole lineage and also clears some density in the one that triggered us, too (because oneness or unity consciousness is here!). 

A Christ says, “God, if there’s anything in me that needs to be buffed out, then trigger me now!” And life can have anyone do it, because it’s not about them, it’s all about healing the past. Plus, it’s always Source (God, the Universe) dressed up as a person anyway. 

Communicate your needs, don’t share your blames. Set the person up for success. Rather than an “I statement,” for example, at least have another suggestion. And own your own stuff. Like, “Hey that triggered me and I know it’s my stuff, and I’m working on it. But if you can communicate with me in this way instead of that way it’d be great.” And of course we’re always doing the trigger process to clear the past as well. 

If the feeling (or some of it) stays after doing the forgiveness process, the sidebar to the process is sitting with the feeling. It’s the parent sitting with the child to heal the neglect it’s experienced. Be the softness around the emotion that says “It’s okay” and “I’m here with you.” And if it replies that it’s not okay, say, “Then it’s not okay, but I’m here with you.” It’s a memory, so it only knows the past (which was not okay). But we’re the observer, so we know the present (i.e. that we’re okay now). It’s the innocence of the memory sitting with the parent (the observer). And this is how the memory is healed. 

Like an expectant mother sits with a hand on her belly, we’re sitting in excitement waiting for a moment of transformation to be birthed. Waiting for a new, expanded consciousness to be birthed. 

This is a big deal! We’re the cosmic liberator, because when we do what those before us – generation after generation – couldn’t do (The Process), we’re healing all of them. By clearing our emotional cellular body. None of it is ours; we came here to heal the collective, and it just looks like we’re each doing it in one body. It’s a very big deal! 

Now we know how to be around other humans! We know the rules of engagement. We have the right to make boundaries. And we clear stuff whenever it arises (the radical forgiveness process) instead of judging and blaming. The Cosmic Liberators. “Free people free people.” Wow! 

Sunday 4/29/18 afternoon (Self-Responsibility Day)

After an experience like this, what else can you say????? WOW! I’ll be back at the next one in October, can’t wait. And I can’t wait to go back home in the meantime, too, because it’s time to live and deepen this awakened consciousness and shine more and more light.

Notes: Matt Kahn Retreat, Day 3

Posted Posted in My Stories, Spirituality/Religion

Hello, You. These are my notes from Matt Kahn’s 5-day Standing For Love retreat. It was at the World Forestry Center in lovely Portland, OR on April 25-29, 2018. You can read my general, mind-blown impressions here. Because it was freaking insane!!! Okay, I had to get that out of my system… But seriously, it was craaaazy!!! I guess there was a bit more…

His retreats (and everything he does) always unfold intuitively, based on what the universe deems necessary for that situation at that time. It’s so cool to watch because it just happens, it just comes through. He said that this retreat ended up having a theme for each day. Day three was Friday, and the theme was Oneness. Enough said…

Friday 4/27/18 am (Oneness Day)

Oneness is about bringing things into harmony. It’s about bringing twos into ones. 

When rooted in ego, the mind tells the heart how to feel. When rooted in soul, the heart tells the mind how to see, believe, and think. 

What we’re about to talk about is very empowering, how everything is an opportunity for growth. 

For the most part, our threats are behind us. This is because we’re more evolved now and can use everything for growth (using the forgiveness process from yesterday). So when we feel threatened (i.e. triggered), we ask if it’s a true threat. And of course it’s almost always not. If not, it’s a chance to turn to the past to reclaim a part of ourselves, send stuff back (others’ old feelings/energies), forgive, and clear all lineages and the collective. Bam! 

Fear, or the ego, asks what the trigger tells us about the present. The soul asks what in the past needs clearing. Turn away from nothing! It’s all here to help you. This is huge!!

Friday 4/27/18 afternoon (Oneness Day)

Enjoyment comes when we’re not waiting for other things to happen. So ask, “What am I waiting for?” Stop waiting! Including for your biggest dreams and goals. 

The steps for being happy: 

1. Admit you don’t know how. When you do this, you open up to the universal, your higher soul, and your angels and guides to help. They’re waiting! 

2. Stop doing the things you used to do that didn’t make you happy. This opens space for something fresh and new. 

Failure is an opportunity to step out of personal will and into the will of the universe to do it through you. 

Hand over your burdens. Your gifts are yours to embrace; your burdens are not yours to resolve. Life gave them to you (burdens) so you can give them back. Huge! In this way, we become the space through which burdens are handled better than we could ever handle them on our own. It’s like the nucleus of the atom (personal self) surrenders so that the power of the whole atom can be used. Also, trying to do everything by ourselves negates unity consciousness. This is major!! We’ve been trying to do everything by ourselves for so long and often times staying stuck. 

We also talked about light and dark. Our job is to be totally anchored and grounded in the light. 

Friday 4/27/18 pm (Oneness Day)

Tonight is about not knowing and getting cool with the unknown. When knowing drops in, that’s great. Otherwise just keep on rolling without needing to know anything. What’s it like to not need to know? Awesome! Amazing. Freeing. 

So what’s it like to not need to know anything about yourself? You’re the one you know the most about, and you’re also the one with whom you have the biggest problem. 

A problem is based on what we know. But what we know is all imagination! Because knowing is based on things that come and go in time; that’s how we draw our conclusions. And anything that’s come has already gone. So we’re basing all that we know on stuff that’s not even here! 

Just be ‘I’ (which is the Roman numeral for one). “Abide as I and the One awakens within.” Whoa… 

A therapist says to a new client, “Tell me about yourself so I can determine what your problem is.” Hahaha… 

Don’t refuse to know yourself, just let life handle what you need to know. Just live and don’t make conclusions. Flow with the river of life and its comings and goings. 

Nail this first and then you’ll have amazing relationships. Because we project the need for happiness onto others because we’re dealing with the problems we have with ourselves, which are based on all we know about ourselves. No more! 

Your partner says, “What do you need from me?” Say, “Just a moment to bask in the glow of your perfection.” Bam!

“No experience” blows away bigger and bigger experiences. It’s the PhD program! And clarity just drops in when it needs to. Why don’t people do this? Because they have too many problems, since they know too much about themselves. 

The easiest way to validate yourself (and not need it from others) is to just sit with yourself like we did last night and give attention to yourself. 

Notes: Matt Kahn Retreat, Day 2

Posted Posted in My Stories, Spirituality/Religion

Hello friend. These are my notes from Matt Kahn’s 5-day Standing For Love retreat. It was at the World Forestry Center in lovely Portland, OR on April 25-29, 2018. You can read my general, mind-blown impressions here. Because it was freaking insane!!! Okay, I had to get that out of my system… But seriously, it was craaaazy!!! I guess there was a bit more…

His retreats (and everything he does) always unfold intuitively, based on what the universe deems necessary for that situation at that time. It’s so cool to watch because it just happens, it just comes through. He said that this retreat ended up having a theme for each day. Day two was Thursday, and the theme was Emotion. Which is so huge and foundational for us humans to master… And we’re totally doing it! I know that myself, my readers, and my clients certainly are, anyway. It’s a process, and we’re on it. So cool, and as my path unfolds, it’s my greatest honor and joy to share. Here we go…

Thursday 4/26/18 am (Emotion Day)

Manifesting is coming into alignment with what was always meant to be.

The four factors of how conscious or unconscious you are (that he “downloaded” from the universe at breakfast this morning) – and we use this to shine a light on our growth edges and opportunities, NOT as a weapon against ourself in any way (which is so common on the spiritual path).

1. How quickly or easily to you become agitated? 

You can be very awake but still have lots of emotional density, emotional debris.

2. How genuinely do you receive compliments?

A compliment is trying to destroy your hiding spot to get out of hiding. It’s a spiritual missile that destroys the heart’s walls.

But you’re never ready for the words that matter most to your heart. You have to learn to be seen and to take it, by saying those words yourself. 

Let love destroy your barriers to life. A compliment is an assassination attempt to the inferior ego structure. 

Sometimes we don’t know how to take eye contact, too, which is also an assassination attempt. But they’re both gifts to the soul. 

Fear of intimacy is when an ego is coming to the end of its grip. We all go through it. It’s the ego’s last stand, losing its grip on object consciousness (thinking you and everyone else are separate objects rather than the same Source energy appearing in different costumes) and emerging into unity consciousness. 

3. How openly and generously do you give to those you love? 

When merged with the light of consciousness, we’re replenished by the vibration of giving. 

The activity of presence is interest. How interested are you in being part of another person’s passion? Passion is very interesting, no matter whose it is! Presence is being equally interested in your loved ones’ interests as your own. 

4. How deeply do you respect the space of someone else’s process (and your own)? 

Can you give space without feeling abandoned, rejected, or not good enough? 

Giving space is the balance of number 3, giving openly. Can you shift gears when that’s called for? 

When one partner is triggered, it means they’re not getting or taking the space they need. 

And then after those four factors, he continued…

Self-Love is the bridge that takes unconsciousness to consciousness. It melts unconsciousness and strengthens consciousness. 

Agitation is a sign of inner conflict in which one wants to be valued and validated by others but hasn’t learned to value and validate themselves

To see yourself is to see your inner beauty, i.e. your worth or the soul’s radiance. Have you ever taken the time to acknowledge your own beauty? 

I’m here! I’m so proud to be me. I’ve arrived. I’m there. As opposed to “when I’ve arrived, or when I get there, or when I make it, then blank…” This is it! 

There’s beauty in everything. Even pain: “I’ve earned this pain, and the right to be present with how fast I’m evolving.” Because it’s only emotional debris and physical inflammation that’s being cleared out so that more light can be embodied. 

The beauty in fear is the innocence that only wants to be told it’s going to be okay. 

The real spiritual journey is about finding our imperfections and embracing them with the perfection of unconditional love. What needs your love? In other words, where are you your greatest enemy? Where are you an enemy and not an ally to yourself? 

The final war of ego: the ego has a tantrum and gets nasty and mean when we don’t give into what it wants. And we respond by just loving it more and more, saying, “Go for it (i.e. say whatever mean things you need to say). I love you.” The shadow is like a child that didn’t get unconditional love so it replaced love with alcohol, food, etc. Now we’re giving it love instead. And when it gets hard and harsh, we get more soft. 

The only enemy to be found is our past choices. So let’s make peace with them, because that’s how we grew in consciousness to become what we are now. The shadow comes from the regret over those choices or the victimhood of others’ bad choices. 

If you feel bad about yourself, you’ll do things to confirm it. So flip it. Start to feel good about yourself to give permission to make powerful choices that are aligned with soul. It’s all just the way that energy moves. You have to feel better about yourself to choose better. 

AMAZING! I locked eyes with Matt for like a minute, and it felt like the strongest ray gun blast of amazing energy vibrating through my body. Wow! I was seeing white light around the periphery, too. 

When you face darkness, only more light is given. Glory be to those that feel. 

Darkness is afraid of being destroyed by light, so it has the vibration of fear. So if we fear darkness then we have the same vibration. When we face it, we reclaim another part of ourselves and we shine even brighter. Darkness is afraid of our light. So it doesn’t hunt us but just pushes up against anything that might destroy it. 

How much time do we spend being tender with ourselves? Like just sitting with yourself. 

Thursday 4/26/18 afternoon (Emotion Day)

To be grounded is to have interest in the moment at hand. Be still and be interested in what’s in front of you. 

He wanted a new teaching on forgiveness that’s empowering, not disempowering. So he asked the universe and this is what he got… 

First, have the right not to forgive. Take as much time as you need. And you have the right to be angry or sad, or even to hate. 

The three rules of Heaven are come as you are, be as you wish, and feel it now (it = IT = infinite truth). 

Back to forgiveness, let’s lay the foundation. First of all, know that people hurt others only to avoid their own pain (“hurt people hurt people” – and what he adds to that is, “free people free people”). It’s nobody’s fault because it’s unconscious. They haven’t learned to feel pain yet. 

We were chosen by the Divine to be hurt because we’re evolved enough to use the abuse for our growth (which is what this radical forgiveness process is about). And it heals the collective of abuse. 

They’re imprinting their pain onto our consciousness to avoid it. And our judgment (lack of forgiveness) allows their pain to squat in our consciousness, rent-free. And this kind of radical forgiveness says no more! You’re not going to use my energy field to hide your unconscious pain. 

“I forgive you” doesn’t condone it; it takes our power back. It gives back to others what’s not ours. We can’t be meek but strong. It comes from the warrior. 

Saying “I forgive you” (doesn’t have to be in person) says, “That doesn’t belong here – not here!” And after a while of practicing this, you don’t attract predatorial behavior. 

Walk into any place and silently say, “Who’s ready to be forgiven?” It’s going on the offensive and your light just blasts stuff. Forgiveness will keep you safe, literally. It’s a bomb of well-being, a love bomb. It’s great to exchange light with another but not to hold their pain. 

Forgive first (preemptively) and their behavior is not needed. Forgive first and nobody gets hurt. Forgiveness is about spreading and passing on blessings. 

The Process: Your personal problem is another person’s pain, so take your biggest problem. How does it make you feel? And who’s the first person that made you feel that way (or the one that made you feel that way the most)? Say, “I send this back to you as blessings of light for your journey ahead.” Send it back mercifully, powerfully, and decisively. 

So “let it go” really means “send it back.” And our team of angels and guides makes it happen. Bam! And we’re sending it back mercifully, knowing that it’s all part of evolution. 

To know God deeply is to live as God lives, and that’s to the rhythm of forgiveness. The giving back is the meaning of forgiveness. 

NOTE: This “send it back” forgiveness process is new, and I look forward to hearing the audio when it comes out in July so I can really master it. But know that everybody needs to deal with their own stuff, their own pain. If we’re holding their stuff then that’s holding up their journey of evolution. That’s why “send it back” is a part of evolution.

QnA led to his process for writing books. He has a title and subject he loves, since he’ll be teaching it for a while in support of he book (so you really have to love it). Then he channels an outline in like ten minutes. Then he writes and then edits, looking for repeated material. And of course he can add and subtract anytime. 

QnA – A woman said when she’s in a dark place, she can’t see any light at all. He said you can’t see light in darkness because you’re the only light that’s there. You’re the light that illuminates the darkness. The process is that you go to the dark to retrieve a part of yourself and bring it back to the light like a slingshot at higher and higher frequencies. Say to darkness, “Hello, friend, how may I serve you?” And we serve darkness (not its needs) to get it back to the light. 

Don’t love things as objects (they’re expressions of Source, not objects). 

Thursday 4/26/18 pm (Emotion Day)

Self-love is all about how interested we are in ourselves. 

Time is the ultimate enemy of the ego and the ultimate ally of the soul. How much time each day am I interested in me? Not my growth or my spiritual path, but me. 

Breathing through pain doesn’t make it better. It changes your relationship with pain, though, which does make it better over time. 

Then we did sitting for a long time. Just sit. It could be called sitting meditation, or zazen, but it was very informal and without rules. It’s more about what you’re not doing rather than what you’re doing. And you’re not doing anything except sitting. This is how to be with yourself. And how to be with your feelings; you just sit with them. Really cool! 

Notes: Matt Kahn Retreat, Day 1

Posted Posted in My Stories, Spirituality/Religion

Hello, Beautiful. These are my notes from Matt Kahn’s 5-day Standing For Love retreat. It was at the World Forestry Center in lovely Portland, OR on April 25-29, 2018. You can read my general, mind-blown impressions here. Because it was freaking insane!!! Okay, I had to get that out of my system… But seriously, it was craaaazy!!! I guess there was a bit more…

His retreats (and talks and everything he does) always unfold intuitively, based on what the universe deems necessary for that situation at that time. It’s so cool to watch because it just happens, it just comes through. He said that this retreat ended up having a theme for each day. Day one was Wednesday, and the theme was expansion. So let’s expand…

Wednesday 4/25/18 am (Expansion Day)

He talked this morning all about blame, and it was amazing. Consider that whatever the problem is, the problem is not you and the problem is not anybody else. Presence is when there’s no blame. Discontent arises from blame. Unconsciousness is a dream of blame. 

Object consciousness is needed order to have blame. Object consciousness is when everything is precisely defined as this or that, rather than being more open, like, “this is just how I’m seeing things.” 

Give everything to the moment. And another person is just the moment in a costume. If they don’t give back, then they’re still integrating or digesting what you’ve given them. So give all of yourself to another and don’t wait for it to come back. There’s no separation, so you’re giving to yourself. If you give all of yourself, you don’t get exhausted. So go for it! To withhold takes you into object consciousness and not the infinite that you are. 

Consciousness is power. Unconsciousness is lack of power, so it can’t actually touch consciousness. Unless there’s blame. 

You don’t have to protect yourself (i.e. an empath or energetically sensitive being) unless you think you’re an object. 

How do you give yourself fully to the moment? Put aside any idea of where you end and another begins. How do you know another isn’t just an outer layer of you? 

Wednesday 4/25/18 afternoon (Expansion Day)

How do we get out of blame? It’s just an innocent tendency, that’s all. So how do we get out? First, see that we need a problem to have blame. But a problem is actually just a process, a spiritual growth opportunity, that we don’t understand yet. It’s all a gift. “It’s not a problem, it’s a process.” If you have trouble with something, just say to it, “You’re a gift that I haven’t been trained to recognize, so please teach me how to receive you.” 

Only objects have problems, and he doesn’t see himself as an object. 

Co-creation is really about cooperation. If you don’t remember creating it in Heaven, then you didn’t create it. Surrender and cooperate with what you were chosen to play out and life will get way better than your ego could ever imagine. This is the new Law of Attraction.  

Cooperation is the bridge from where you are to beyond your wildest dreams. 

The ego say, “I never get what I want.” The soul says, “I always get what I need.” 

Rejection is redirection (for the soul’s growth). 

Instead of wanting a bunch and having lots of desires, just say “thanks” or “thank you for choosing me” (for life’s path). The line to get in to Heaven of people that are wanting all the time is miles long. But the line of people that just say “thanks” only has like three people! So you’ll get in a lot faster. 

Take one moment to not want a single thing to be different. Just one moment. We did this, and WOW! A major shift. 

Getting what we want doesn’t change how we feel, because that comes from how we see ourself (ego vs. soul, object vs. expression of Source energy or consciousness). 

Cooperation with life is the key to fast evolution. This is HUGE! 

To speed things up, say, “No mercy. No mercy for me. No mercy for this one. Bring it on! Please would something devour me so I can be re-created in a greater image.” Be passionate about the process (remember that nothing is a problem, it’s a process). Darkness gets afraid when we say things like this. 

All that arises (i.e. fear, anger, jealousy) is for the purpose of deepening our relationship with it to be more intimate. And remember that these feelings come from the one that feels that way… the inner child. So you’re deepening your relationship with your self. 

Being totally willing to listen to our thoughts clears it because we’re finally treating thought like God would. And we’re God! 

“Oh well” is a mantra of cooperation, like when we don’t get what we want. “Oh” is the recognition that what we didn’t want to happen happened. And “well” refers to the fact that the one that witnessed the experience is eternal wellness in form.  

Take your growth seriously but don’t take yourself seriously; that’ll really help. And the more successful you are, the more flexible you have to be. 

QnA about cancer. Cancer isn’t something to be conquered but to be be-friended. It pushes against our boundaries of mortality and fairness. It’s a very deep opportunity to bring wellness into your life. And over time, you’ll see what’s in the Akashic records (what’s planned to unfold over time). 

Nothing says “bring me more” than being content with what you already have. 

Huge insights are only needed when you’re off course. So maybe you’re already just fine and on course. Also more intense spiritual experiences take longer integrate and are tougher to integrate. 

Life’s too perfect to be imagined (i.e. the ego trying to manifest versus “thanks fort what I have” or just “thanks”). 

Life’s also too perfect to be fair. And may we be freed from the character that thinks it’s not fair. 

Receive all that life gives, and it’s always giving, from a place of wholeness, contentment, and freedom. And that always brings more wholeness, contentment, and freedom. 

Wednesday 4/25/18 pm (Expansion Day)

The night session was a total deconstruction that blew our minds to help integrate all that happened and shifted on this big first day. And to help us sleep well and start Day 2 reborn and ready to fly! 

I’m Baa-aack, Again….. OMG………..

Posted Posted in My Stories, Spirituality/Religion

Howdy folks! I got back from the 5-day Matt Kahn retreat in Portland on Monday night. And, it was amazing. OMG… WTF… LOL… You get the idea. Lots of folks have asked me how it was, and it’s been the hardest thing to describe, because it was just that ridiculous. Comically ridiculous. Me and some of my friends there, in fact, were joking about exactly this. He was making the same joke, too, because what can you say? It was simply nuts. Bananas. Craziness. This dude is channeling some powerful stuff, and it’s so cool how the retreat unfolds over the five days into a complete whole. It all happens naturally and with precision, and none of it is planned. So cool.

There were three sessions a day except for two on the last day, so that’s fourteen total sessions. There were maybe 300 or 350 people there? But it felt small and intimate. And each session was just ridiculous. (Yes, I seem to be using that word a lot today. Hey, I’m doing my best!). This dude just opens his mouth and what comes out takes a subject and completely blows your mind in a way that you just couldn’t have seen. And that happens literally each and every session, so the whole experience just grows exponentially. He thought it was nuts, his staff thought it was nuts, and the “old-timers” that have been to lots of these retreats over the years thought it was nuts. It was just… nuts.

He’s growing and shifting a ton, and so are all of us, and it’s happening really fast! So it’s no surprise that each gathering would build on the previous one. This one seemed to blast off into a whole new dimension, though. The other thing about his events is that you leave changed. You might not know what the hell happened, but you know you are not the same. That change, in fact, begins right away in the first session, and it continues from there. It’s pretty wild. I’ve been to a fair amount of deep spiritual retreats and events over the last fifteen years, and they pretty much all have you feeling on top of the world when you leave, but then it tends to fade. This is permanent. That was my take, anyway, as well as that of some friends there that have also been around the spiritual block. So that’s a cool takeaway.

I’ll be posting my notes before long, so stay tuned. I went in thinking that I wouldn’t take as many notes as the last one I went to since this was being recorded, but then he started dropping bombs. And the audio won’t be available until July, and I didn’t want to wait! So I broke out the pen and paper. I took more notes the first three days and less the second two days. That’s because I got a front row center seat on day four, and I didn’t want to be “notes guy.” Plus, it was the universe’s way of shifting me into something different. So what I’d do is write down some thoughts after the session, or just here and there. It all worked out very well.

The story of getting the front and center seat was really cool. They say ahead of time to move to different seats in each session to circulate the energy. Makes sense to me. The only thing, though, is that nobody really did it (except for each day, since we couldn’t leave our stuff there overnight). Those that got good seats definitely marked their territory all day. They got there super early in the morning to get up front, so I totally get it. And there really wasn’t a bad seat in the house. It’s like a concert or a sporting event or anything, though – being up close just has a deeper feel. For what it’s worth, that type of posturing happens far less at his events than at many others I’ve been to, which shows the maturity of the audience. Which reflects the maturity of the teacher. But we’re all still human, so it’s still there.

Anyway, I had a great seat in the morning session of day two. So we broke for lunch and I took my stuff with me. I came back a bit early from lunch, and I was in prime position to get a good seat for the afternoon session when they opened the doors to let us in. So they opened the doors and I walked in with a big smile on my face. Until I saw that all the seats had jackets on them. Ha! All good, because we’re talking about some serious “first word problems” here (or “zero world problems” if that’s a thing). But I did want to ask one of the staff members just so I was clear on the rules. His name was Eric – he’s my bro now – and he was just the nicest guy in the world. He knew exactly what I was talking about, and he said they like people to move around, but they can’t really control them. The message I got was to just mark my seat if I liked it and all would be well.

So I had another amazing afternoon session and then a transcendent night session. Then the next day, he said they saved a seat for me – front and center! I was right next to another staff member, Aaron, who is my bro now as well. I love these guys! They’re so nice. And they said I was so nice and gracious that they wanted to do something really nice for me. Honestly, I was totally blown away. I mean, it’s just a seat at a talk, in a very small venue, so it’s not that big a deal. But it’s the thought that counts, right? I certainly think so. So that was really cool and totally unexpected.

One thing that was interesting is that each day was sort of like a retreat in itself. It’s all intuitive for Matt (here’s my description from the retreat I went to in January that describes how he works), so the universe is in charge of how everything unfolds. And at this retreat, each day sort of had a theme (not planned, it just unfolded that way). Day one was expansion, day two emotion, day three oneness, day four relationships, and day five self-responsibly. One aspect of self-responsibility or self-awareness involves acting with integrity, and that’s huge with him. Remember that this is all about integration and embodiment. Going up to the heavens with our big awakenings and insights, but then coming back down and bringing it all into the body to be a fully divine human. To be a DESCENDED master, that’s why we’re here. Most of the old paradigm is really about the first half of the journey. And honestly, I wanted to get the hell out of this place for years! It was Matt that helped me finally see and accept my mission to be here in full and anchor tons of light on earth. And we’re doing a pretty good job of that, I think! And we’re just getting started.

Something else happened during the morning session of day two that was really cool. It was an intense part of the session, and there was a long silence as he just looked around the room, letting things sink in. And I locked eyes with him for like a minute. And I’m telling you, it felt like the strongest ray gun blast as my whole body vibrated. It felt amazing! This dude is running some energy through him. And the periphery of my vision had a white light sort of glow around it. I see that in sessions sometimes at peak moments, but this was greatly magnified. This dude packs a serious punch! So I went up to him after the session and said how cool it was, and I also told him about what I’m doing in Pensacola (I’d done the same in California when I first met him). I want him to know that his stuff is reaching lots of people that are connected to me. And of course I got another picture with him since I still have a huge man crush…

Well, that’s probably a fitting place to end this tale of my second Matt Kahn retreat. Freaking wow, bring on the next one. I think it’s in October, and I can’t wait. I’ll be posting my notes before long, and the audio will be out in July. He also has his second book coming out in early June, Everything Is Here To Help You. Someone he hired to promote it found my blog and sent me an advance copy (which I also told him), so I’ll be writing about that in the coming weeks. It’s pretty incredible and very practical, your guide to seeing life through the soul’s eyes instead of the ego’s. WOW. And he’ll be doing a six-city book tour with talks being live streamed for a super low price, so I’ll share information on that as well. Check it out and you’ll see what I mean. And as crazy as all this sounds, his talks are equally relaxed and simple and easy to digest. That’s the new paradigm that we’re in, the best of both worlds. So check it out, and then I might not sound like such a crazy person about this guy. I’m not sure that’s possible at this point, though… Anyway peace out! It’s nice to be back, and as always, let me know if I can help.

I’m Going To See Matt Kahn Again!

Posted Posted in My Stories, Spirituality/Religion

Hello, great folks. As you may have noticed, about three months ago I had quite a profound time at my first Matt Kahn retreat. So… I’m going back! It’ll be next week in Portland, Oregon. I lived there briefly with my younger brother about ten years ago, so it’ll be nice to return. I also have some old friends from Pensacola there that I’ll be able to connect with. There won’t be a whole lot of free time, though, because the hours are pretty long. But that’s okay, because after all, that’s why we’re there. This one will actually be about twice as long as the first one, so it should be pretty crazy. I’m very psyched!

I think we’ve had a pretty strong run of posts since I got back from the last one, so who knows what will go down next. I have several partially written posts that I’d love to finish before I go, but no pressure. I just love where we are, though. I think we’re really ready to deepen and deepen into this new paradigm of loving what arises and understanding that the universe is always serving our highest growth. Even when it’s painful… And as I always say, I have absolutely no idea why the super bad stuff happens to people that don’t deserve it. But I do know that we can heal and thrive, so we focus on that and move on (because we don’t really have a choice).

Something else that I’d like to share here is another way to differentiate the old way from the new way. This is something that I learned recently from Matt, and it makes a lot of sense, makes it really clear. If you really think about it, the old way of growth has traditionally been very masculine. There’s lots of work and effort, spiritual work, personal growth work, however you want to phrase it. And at some point, this usually takes lots of personal will to get it right and do it right and try harder if you don’t. And of course this inevitably leads to lots of judgment, mainly against ourselves. There’s also usually an enemy to defeat, which is also a very masculine idea. It could be the ego, the mind, the lower chakras, feelings, resistance, habits, patterns, etc. I’m not saying that this masculine way is wrong or bad; rather, for so many of us it’s just no longer the time for it. So it’s ineffective; it’s no longer working. It had its time and place, and that time has past. It’s still the right path for many people, but not for anyone that would be reading my stuff! For us, it’s time for the feminine to rise up and take its rightful place. And if you’re curious or confused, just ask yourself if those masculine ways are still working. If you’ve ever thought you weren’t working hard enough, then I have good news for you – you weren’t supposed to be! You were in the wrong classroom, innocently blaming yourself. And this is the right classroom for you. It’s a totally different ballgame. I mean, are you truly at peace? If so, then great! But I know for a fact that most people are not, and they’re trying soooo hard. Then they wonder why their spiritual tricks aren’t working anymore, and they get into the judgment and blame game. I’ve been the king of that, and it’s not very fun…

So what’s this more feminine way all about? Loving what arises. Whatever arises, love that. And we aren’t in control of what arises; the universe is. It could be anger, jealousy, sadness, fear, stress, insecurity, etc. As we notice a feeling (or thought), we trace it to the one inside that feels (or thinks) that way. And who is that? You guessed it, it’s the inner child. That little dude (or dudette) is using those annoying or painful feelings or thoughts to get your attention, saying, “Hey, I need you now.” So we give it an inner embrace, an inner hug, an inner “I got you, I love you, I’m here for you.” Right there on the spot. And then we go on about our day, as is appropriate. We’re being an open and loving space for whatever arises, and that‘s how we heal.

And again, the intelligent universe is in charge. That’s more feminine, too, because now you don’t have this intense inner boss trying to run the show (of the peace and healing that it can literally never comprehend!). The universe knows the order of the most efficient path for you, not the inner boss. Heal (i.e. love) this first, and then that, and then that, etc. And we might wonder if this is ever going to end! So we immediately love the one that’s concerned. But at some point, we start to feel better, and more confident. We start to get the sense that the super sensitive child in our heart is toughening up, is feeling stronger and more grown up. Why? Because we’ve learned to be its nurturer and protector by loving what arises. And this feels good, very good. That long line of who needs love is starting to get smaller. Amen.

This more feminine way is actually very balanced. We’re not afraid to do any work we have to do, or address what needs to be addressed, so the masculine is always on call (and if we do notice that fear, we love it by loving the one inside that’s afraid). But bringing in the feminine is the name of the game now, and it’s so powerful! How do I know? Because I’ve been experiencing it. And it’s so cool… I’ve been experiencing it in my sessions with clients as well as in the talks that I love to give. And in regular interactions with people, too. I’ve been bringing more space into all of these situations and interactions, slowing things down, and it’s been getting more and more powerful. Deeper. You can feel it. So cool. And the good news is that this is totally not natural for me! So there’s hope for all…

So there we go! Just a little update. And it’s always my honor to pass this stuff on. I’m seeing with the clients that are finding their way to me that my role is pretty clear: to be one of the ones that’s ushering in this new spiritual paradigm. It’s just such an honor and privilege to share this. It’s really the best job in the world, because I’m seeing how needed it is. These beautiful and innocent souls have been coming in, and they’ve been working and trying their asses off. And they’re not at peace and they’re crushing themselves for it. And life just doesn’t make sense. And then when I share what I’ve been learning and experiencing, things feels so much better, often right away. Things get simpler. And the journey starts to make sense.

There’s a good bit of this new stuff that I haven’t shared here yet, because to be honest I don’t know how at this point. It’s more of the big picture “why” sort of thing, and it’s definitely getting further into woo-woo land. But I’m obviously a major woo-woo (because I’m so damn logical and have studied so much, like near death experiences and quantum physics, without a prior belief system to adhere to), so it’s only a matter of time. So we’ll see how that shakes out. I’m pitching a really cool talk to give around town now, and it’ll explain everything. So if you’re local, be on the lookout for it. And in the meantime, take care, and love that “little buddy” or “little honey” in your heart as best you can. And if that seems difficult or impossible, try your best to love the one that can’t love yet; that’s your doorway in. And as always, let me know if I can help. And I’ll see about those partially written blogs posts… And then Portland! OMG……. Peace 🙂

Notes: Matt Kahn Retreat, Sunday AM

Posted Posted in My Stories, Spirituality/Religion

Here’s the sixth and final installment of my notes from the Matt Kahn retreat in January. And my initial impressions are written up here in case you want some context.

NOTE: He uses certain words interchangeably: the Universe, Source, Life, God, Light, the Divine. If you have any baggage with a certain word or words, just pick one that works for you! The last thing we ever want to get hung up on is a word, as I’ve done a million times before. It’s just a symbol, so always look at what the speaker is pointing to rather than what your meaning is. Because they’re often not the same. And they’re the one that said it anyway. This is such an important thing to be aware of as humans that are always in communication with one another. Okay, here we go…

He said there’s nothing like the feeling of getting all areas of your life dialed in. His last was getting healthy, which he said was the hardest thing he’s ever done. And his recent marriage tied into this as well.

Back to abundance from yesterday, he said it’s hard to talk about it without it sounding like reward and punishment. So he asked the universe for a way to talk about it objectively to take the personal sting away. So here it is, and it’s pretty awesome. And so simple!

The universe is objective and energetic. It responds to intensity. The polarity is excitement and fear. Which are you most aligned with? Whatever you desire, are you more excited about it or afraid? If you’re more afraid, then the benevolent universe would rather protect you from what you’re afraid of than give you what you’re less excited about.

We’re always sending mixed signals. Children are good manifestors because they just want, want, want. Be specific and decisive with the universe.

Why be afraid? That’s in the ego’s domain. The ego wants what it wants like crazy, as long as it’s not here. Anticipation is the prime function of the ego. The ego lives to anticipate, needs to anticipate. That’s why people get so triggered at retreats! The ego can’t stand to sit still with nothing to anticipate.

Ask, “What would this moment be like without anything to anticipate?” Everything is waiting for you, and you’ll get there when you’re supposed to. It’ll all be revealed when you’re ready. All we do is commit fully and live this moment out and let it all come.

Waiting for enlightenment is anticipating what happens when we stop anticipating. Bam!

Do we anticipate the breath? We don’t, and it just comes. And it’s already within us. I’m saying this so you can relax.

So what else can we not anticipate? True love, plus everything else we desire. Anticipating is just what most of us do to pass the time until it comes. Life already knows what you want, whether you have a vision board or not, so just relax.

You can’t prepare for your destiny. It’ll show up not when you want it but when you need it. It doesn’t come when you expect it because it’s there to take you beyond your ideas, not to confirm your ideas.

Relationships often come when each person isn’t ready, because they’re being more themselves. The more natural we are, and normal, the more doors open. That has big implications to all this spiritual work, too, with so many of us always trying to attain and be better.

It’s actually normal to feel good about yourself. Of all things to question, why question yourself? Unless you’re doing things that are really bad for you, that’s obvious. Judging ourselves so much is like making a judgment about a movie character before they become the hero by the end of the movie. They’re still being molded. So just sit back and watch the movie!

We balance the deep stuff with being normal: a routine, interactions with others, etc. And not always having something to process! Don’t try to always better yourself, because it’s going to happen anyway. Let life be in charge.

Take a break from checking in on yourself. If you’re going through emotional upheaval, then check in; that’s common sense. Else relax. We have a spiritual hyper vigilance. Then he gave the hilarious analogy of a hotel employee constantly knocking on your door to ask if you’re okay and if you need anything. Like every few minutes. Finally, you say, “No, I’m not okay! I’m not okay because you won’t leave me the hell alone!”

Even self-love needs to be spacious and natural.

Also let’s not use inner spiritual work to hide from other areas of our life that need attention. Spiritual work is what we do when all of that has been taken care of.

Ask if you always have to have a spiritual process going on. Often there’s a secondary gain when you always have a spiritual process, because if you don’t then you might not feel connected to God or to yourself. But you’re always connected! Have a hobby or interest instead.

His desire for us is to be the most heart-centered, awake beings we can be. But he wants to instill in us the most natural way of approaching it. He and others (like his friend Kyle Cease) are part of a new breed of spiritual teachers that are teaching how to go about all of this. The “what to do” has been taught, but the “how” hasn’t been taught in a way that doesn’t leave us feeling spiritually insecure and weird. Just weird people, not normal. And that leads to insecurity. Hilarious.

There’s a time for spiritual stuff and a time to be normal. It’s like a firefighter that always has the full set of gear on. Trying to eat with the mask on, trying to sleep with that huge suit and mask on. Wait until the alarm sounds for all that! If we relax our spiritual impulse, then everything we’ve received this weekend will be fully integrated and will stick.

After so many years of intense spiritual process to prepare for the work that he’s doing, Matt’s spiritual process now is just being a human without a process.

Have at least one interest other than spiritual growth that’s in the direction of self-expression and creativity.

Consciousness has a masculine and a feminine aspect. The drive for spiritual truth is masculine. But the receiving is feminine. We need balance. The expansion of consciousness must be tempered with creativity because creativity is in the domain of the feminine. Creative expression plus spiritual expansion is the magic combination.

He’s helping us to become more settled, which is what he means by “normal.” And those that aren’t settled are in the process of becoming settled.

The deeper we go, the more natural life wants us to be. And when we’re not, it comes to a halt. And then some external things might shift, too. Like relationships coming to an end.

We can be settled right now, and it begins with having nothing to anticipate. There’s everything to receive and nothing to anticipate. Being settled is just being you, exactly as you are. It’s your natural state. Your life’s purpose is to be settled in yourself.

Sometimes when the universe doesn’t seems to be answering your questions or responding to you, it’s helping you to become more settled. It’s like the parent that’s holding a child so that the child can fall asleep. If the parent keeps talking to it, it won’t fall asleep. That’s the universe with us, but we’re falling awake. Whoa…

No matter how near or far we are from our goals, life’s trying to settle us right here, right now. Then we taste and feel perfection, and life really begins. The universe can’t help us decorate our space until we move in. And this is what it feels like to move in (that amazing feeling in the room now and throughout the retreat in every session). WOW!