Matt Kahn & The Fast Path to Awesomeness

Posted Posted in Breathe Yoga Newsletter, My Stories

Hi folks. I’m here to write about a novel concept… being nice to yourself. We’ve talked about that before here and then a follow-up two week challenge here. And then a couple of weeks ago, I found myself watching a video that will blow you away. It’s by a guy named Math Kahn that I totally love right now. He might be enlightened, sure seems it. And he’s hilarious. And I totally have a crush on this dude. And I like chicks. So there we go.

So what I’m saying is, watch this video. It’s over an hour long, but I watched the first 23 minutes the first day and it totally blew me away. It’s a real hashtag gamechanger. Do it! And then I watched another few minutes later, so I’ve only seen about the first half hour in total. So if he endorses awful things later, please don’t blame me. I don’t think we have to worry about that, though…

So here we go. It’s called Raising Your Vibration. And if you’re thinking that that means eating better and exercising more and quitting smoking and stuff like that, then definitely watch it! Because that’s actually not what you focus on. He talks about how we focus on those actions and behaviors that we think will improve us as a person, but the changes either don’t happen or they’re a real struggle. He says this is because you’re trying to write checks from your emotional bank account, but the balance of the account can’t cover the checks. So you need to make some deposits. And how do you do that? You talk nicely to yourself. Actually, you feel love for yourself. You give yourself credit for what you do right, and you pause for a second and feel it. And man, it sure feels good.

He talks about how by contrast, most of us focus on what we’re doing wrong and what we want to change and improve. In other words, we’re always “working on ourselves.” He points out that nobody has actually ever finished working on themselves because the list just never runs out. There’s always something else to work on and improve. The people that finish working on themselves are the ones that decide to just give that up. Instead of focusing on what’s wrong, they focus on what they’re doing right. They’re nice to the person at the gas station, for instance, and when they get in the car they just tell themselves for a few seconds, “That was awesome. Way to go, spreading a little love in the world.” And they feel that nice feeling of giving themselves credit. And the bank account just got a deposit. And it builds and builds. And this is the fast way to raising your vibration, if that’s how you want to look at it.

And as the balance of the bank account grows, the behaviors that we want to change fall away naturally. They’re no longer a fit. And it’s not just external things like diet and exercise and vices, but also qualities. Are we critical and judgmental? Are we nice? We start becoming who we want to be naturally, simply because we stop focusing on what’s wrong. You see, the universe is like a waiter. I heard a teacher named John Mark Stroud say it this way. A waiter knows only one word – yes! Whatever you order on the menu is yours. I want a hamburger. Yes! I want a cheeseburger. Yes! I want some french fries. Yes! And onion rings. Yes! And some apple pie. Yes! You get the point. So when I’m into working on myself, the universe says, “Sure, I’ll give you plenty to work on since you seem to be so into it!” And it never ends.

The other way is a 180. We get into harmony with how things are now, warts and all, and we give ourselves actual credit for what is good. Wash, rinse, repeat. And see what happens. At the very least, try it for two freaking weeks! Make yourself some reminders, though, because most of us have been too hard on ourselves for quite a long time now… Matt is also so funny, talking about how we will try all kinds of things in the name of peace and happiness and growth. But we rarely try being nice to ourselves. We don’t have to go anywhere or do anything. We don’t have to pay any money. There are no techniques that are needed, and no training. No coaches or teachers. And the easiest way to start is right now. Note: it’s more of a feeling thing than a thinking thing. Also note that if it’s hard to do, just keep doing it as best you can and totally without judgment and it’ll shift fast. Fast! Trust me on that one… Give me two weeks. Actually, give yourself two weeks. You are worth it. And watch the video, or at least the first 23 minutes. You can always watch a few minutes here and there and keep track of where you are. One client said, “Ok, I love, love, love Matt Kahn… two days of listening and I’m addicted.” Do it! And let me know if I can help. Nicely.

More Espresso??

Posted Posted in Uncategorized

After that synchronistic lunch I told you about a while back, I guess I should tell you about when the same thing happened regarding a coffee shop several months ago. I guess I was either a slacker or something shiny came along and got my attention at the same time that I was going to sit down to write about it. Good thing for keeping lists of blog topics…

So I was going through a fierce bout of trying to switch from espresso to tea, which happens from time to time. When I do this, tea will usually gain some ground and then espresso will shake it off like a dog shaking off a case of fleas. It’s pretty funny to observe, to be honest.

Side note: I’ll be writing about a guy named Matt Kahn pretty soon and how we try so hard to change certain behaviors (like the coffee or tea), when we’re actually putting the cart before the horse. In the meantime, feel free to check out the first 23:30 (or more) of this video: Warning: you might end up totally in love with this dude as I am now, along with some of the folks with whom I’ve shared it. He’s hilarious, too. Highly recommended. Again, I’ll be writing about what he’s saying in detail very soon. Back to the story…

So green tea was winning at this particular time, and I was driving to work one morning. And I had this really strong feeling to go to one of the many excellent cafes we have here in Pensacola (I’d name it, but I don’t want to incriminate anyone, as you’ll see). The angel and devil made an appearance on my shoulders, and I thought about being strong and heading to the office and going with the tea. But that feeling was just extra strong, and a bit different from the normal coffee addiction feeling. So I said screw it, I’m going with the feeling, and I went to the coffee shop. By the way, and this is SO important, I also declared that I’m absolutely not going to feel guilty about it! I’m owning this decision and moving on to have a totally awesome day. No nagging going on in my head about it. Done and done.

So I went there, and the reason for the feeling was apparent right away – the barista had just broken up with her longtime boyfriend and really had the blues. And if you can’t tell, I’m pretty friendly, so I usually get to know the folks who work at the places I frequent. And based on some of the details of the dude’s actions and how it all went down, she was pissed. And she was WAY in her head. And the pain was strong. And my readers know very well that “way in the head” and “the pain was strong” go together like a…

Wow, I jumped into that analogy like jumping out of a plane with no parachute. I thought there was some standard one I knew, but nothing came out. I just googled it, in fact, and there are lots of sayings. And none of them was the one. Peanut butter and jelly? Horse and carriage? A wink and a smile? Nope. Oh, well. I think you get the point.

So I talked to her some just as a friend and not as Counselor Guy, but this stuff is part of my life. That’s why I went back to school and created this gig in the first place. This is real life, real stuff. If someone is making things a thousand times worse by listening to this voice in their head that’s loud, mean, critical, talking fast, makes no sense, and seems to be coming from outside of them… And it’s optional! And they’re the one doing the talking!! I can’t just sit there and watch it. So I have no idea if hanging out there for a while helped her or not, because it was so fresh and raw, but it was pretty clear where that espresso feeling came from. “Go spread a little bit of love to this person and then go about the rest of your day.” And yes, they have tea there, too. That wasn’t happening, though…  So once again, follow the feeling. Follow the feeling and see where it leads. Practice this like you practice anything else that’s new. For just two weeks, even! And take notes. Because following the feeling is where the magic is.

One Class Beats Six Years of Counseling??

Posted Posted in Client/Friend Stories

I recently had the privilege of teaching a series of one-hour weekly classes to a group of women about this stuff that we talk about here at A Clean Mind. The first class went very well, as they usually do. Because this is just really awesome stuff to talk about! And everyone can relate to it pretty much immediately. And I get kind of excited… Anyway, when I showed up the second week, I asked them if there had been any changes in their lives as a result of what we had talked about the week before. And a couple of them raised their hands.

One of the women works at a restaurant. This particular place gets super busy at peak times like lunch, so this information is crucial for her. It might’ve been that her boss said something harsh or critical during a busy time, and of course she felt the emotional fireworks right away. But she took a breath and simply listened to him, centered herself, then got back to work. And she was amazed that while it was not a fun experience, it was nothing like it would’ve been before our class. It didn’t ruin her day; quite the contrary. It made her day when she realized that we make so many mole hills into mountains, and it’s totally optional! But nobody tells us this stuff. Until now.

While this might seem like nothing, it’s not! This is major. It’s a different way to live, so I was very psyched to hear about it. She has already learned too much to ever be a stress ball at work again. She knows the secret. And how cool is that?? From learning two simple facts in an hour, work will never be as stressful for the rest of her life. Wow. And for her, this insight regarding work will start spilling over into the rest of her life right away.

And here’s the other one, which honestly brought some tears to my eyes. Another young woman raised her hand and said that in between the first class and the second was the anniversary of the death of her very young sibling that died, I think she said at age 2. She said that this one class helped her more than six years of counseling had. Wow. I was very moved. And it’s not me but just the information that is shared. It’s not like that day was the best day of her life, but she was able to stay in her breath, in her wisdom/common sense, and out of the chatter. This way those feelings can pass without getting so stuck. It’s normal to feel emotional on this day. It’s normal to feel sad, or even angry. Just let it be, breathe into, put space around it, and let it pass when it wants to pass. And the day came and went and her experience was way different than it had been each year before. Again, WOW. I love this stuff!!

Then the next week, the first woman said she had received some very painful news, news about a major part of her life that she didn’t want to hear. And she was very proud, and somewhat amazed, at how she handled it. She said she definitely had a moment, but she would’ve had a panic attack before. She said, “Usually news like this would send me into orbit.” Bam! I’ll take a moment over that any day. So cool, and well freaking done. Well done. Painful things still happen, and they’re just not as painful as they used to be. And even if they are, it doesn’t last nearly as long.

So there you go, just sharing some more experiences people are having from learning this simple stuff and then practicing it. The two simple facts, by the way, are that you are feeling your thinking (and not feeling the world directly) and that you have a good source of thinking built in. And if you know of any other groups that could benefit, please let me know! It’s so fun sharing with groups. More people can be reached that way, too. Other than that, enjoy the Fall weather wherever you are. We had the hottest summer in years here in Pensacola. I’m scheming to find a way to take this show on the road in the future so I can beat the heat. And if you’re somewhere like South Carolina where there’s lots of flooding, all the best and be careful. Peace out and let me know if I can help!