Here’s the second installment of my notes from the Matt Kahn retreat in January. And my initial impressions are written up here in case you want some context.
NOTE: He uses certain words interchangeably: the Universe, Source, Life, God, Light, the Divine. If you have any baggage with a certain word or words, just pick one that works for you! The last thing we ever want to get hung up on is a word, as I’ve done a million times before. It’s just a symbol, so always look at what the speaker is pointing to rather than what your meaning is. Because they’re often not the same. And they’re the one that said it anyway. This is such an important thing to be aware of as humans that are always in communication with one another. Okay, here we go…
The old way is asleep consciousness trying to act like awakened consciousness. Let it go, don’t resist, accept what is, etc… And it can’t. The new way is to steep in awakened consciousness using love. It’s all about truth and love. Exploring the deeper truths (i.e. awakening) while using love to integrate it, loving ourselves and others. And balancing those two things in any moment.
Say this: Who I am is how I love, not what I do. Whoa. We’re so focused on what we do. So in the morning, ask, “How will I love today?” Ask the universe to show me how to love, or how to love more in this moment. And if we’re having a hard time with it then the one that’s having the tough time is the first to get love. Say, “It’s okay.”
Nobody has to agree on anything, ever. We’re all reporters from our own universe, reporting our uniqueness of what we see, hear, feel, and think to contribute to the whole. We’re all in different places and at different levels, so we should just cheer each other on and support each other.
The 4th dimension is like a hallway from the 3rd to the 5th. It’s where the spiritual ego gets constructed and then deconstructed, or unraveled.
Dimension just refers to the level of consciousness you live from and see things through. 5D is unity consciousness, and it’s all about how the truth is already within me and who I am is how I love.
Each dimension has its own history. It can feel like turning a blind eye to the problems of the world when we start to live in 5D, but we’re starting to live in a consciousness where those problems don’t exist. So we’re bringing that energy to the earth and anchoring it. Higher consciousness is what will solve everything, not trying to fix it from within the same consciousness.
Your specific mission from consciousness is only what’s directly in front of you. And when you’re way into something that’s not your mission, there’s fear. Like conspiracy theories or whatever. It’s like a guy in an office wandering around to everyone else’s cubicle like it’s some office mixer and he’s trying to do their work. Go to your cube and do YOUR work! And then later you see he has a wrench and is trying to fix the copy machine, but he’s not a copy machine repairman. Hilarious. Stay in your lane.
We’re either looking at reality or we’re looking at a screen (phone, computer, etc.). He uses technology, but he only relies on his consciousness, his intuition. It’s the best app there is.
A judgment is a reminder that we’re afraid to love in that moment or situation. So it’s an opportunity to soften and open and become more loving, by first loving the part that can’t love.
Try to see beauty in everyone to anchor that more and more on earth
Soul contracts are present only when it resonates or there’s a desire or intuition. Even if it’s just like, “I have a feeling I have to do this” (as opposed to I really want to). If you don’t want to do it or you don’t have that feeling that you are supposed to do it, then it’s not a soul contract. And if someone else is involved, someone else will show up for them that actually has the contract. And then there will be growth for all involved. Spiritual people can say yes to everything, even when they’re not supposed to. We have to learn to say no. Be firm but polite.
Start self-love with the easiest thing, not the hardest. The ego goes to the hardest thing, as if to prove it wrong. The ego hears “whatever arises, love that” and immediately says, “You mean I should love Hitler?” Hilarious. Instead start with something about yourself that you truly like. Even if it’s that you’re not a terrible person! You’re not the worst person in the world; there are lots of worse people. Seriously, that’s fine! Just start wherever you can and it’ll spread.
Instead of wondering when the voice in the head will shut up, listen to it. It usually just wants to be listened to (i.e. given our loving attention) as opposed to resolving serious problems. When a person talks, we listen. It’s just being socially normal, no big deal. And maybe it’s God preparing us to be better listeners. Listening is engaged loving. So it’s about love and not about whether what you hear is right or wrong. “The floor is yours.”
If you just give your mind permission to speak fully, it’ll go silent. (Note: we all did this and that’s exactly what happened. And it’s happened every since I’ve returned, too. I notice chatter and give it my attention, and there’s silence. Crickets. It just wants attention, like a little kid.)
Same with hatred, when given permission to hate fully, we’ll get bored after a minute or so. A big part of feeling hatred is that we don’t have permission to, like it’s taboo. And we’re not talking about acting out on it, but just feeling it fully. Hating as much as we want to in that moment. Knock yourself out. And see what happens, see how long it lasts.
Being an unconditional listener is easy, just letting the person empty out. And it’s easier the more we can listen to ourselves. When we’re rooted in love, we lead with listening. When we don’t need the other person to be interested in us, we find their words to be more interesting. Because I’m already interested in and fascinated by me! So I don’t need it from them.
Cool Q&A from a woman that shattered her wrist. She went to a cabin in the woods for three days to listen to the wrist. It said it was mad at her for being too active. It wanted her to slow down, more “being” and less “doing.” She felt like it was too much, though, and it was taking her life away. He had her do a repeat after me that was really cool. Totally respectful and permissive of the wrist’s feelings. But asking if they can sort of start a new relationship. When the wrist is mad, it’s an opportunity for them to rebuild their relationship. And she appreciates its honesty. It was really cool to see.
Cool Q&A from an energy healer with a bi-polar client that’s not even totally there due to so much medication, but that wants to be healed. And the healer can’t. The client has this darkness that’s big and aggressive, and the healer is hiding behind her masculine mind and “wisdom” to try to prescribe what will help. But it ends up being a pissing contest. Instead, use the feminine and spaciousness and hold it in love. And the clients’ path is her path, too. Maybe she’s not supposed to be healed at this time.
Cool Q&A from a woman trying to forgive herself about abortions many years ago. But then it turned more general, into how she’s a perfectionist, which is nothing more than a misuse of our imagination. And it was a cool part about listening to the mind honestly and without judgment. So the feminine heart listens to the masculine mind. Then that makes the mind feel good, so it marries the heart. Then the heart opens and we see through the eyes of love. And we see it was actually an act of love the whole time (because she was young and not supported and not ready for a child at that time). She had assumed she had done the wrong thing, but she had done the most loving thing.
For spiritual folks, let’s take a vacation from checking in so much and asking, “How am I doing?” Because it’s an invitation to micromanage and judge at a ridiculous level. We’re already hyper-aware! So that question is for other people on their path, not us (we’ve already done that).
The divine is already awake in all of us spiritual folks and empaths and energetically sensitive people, it’s just suppressed by a lack of confidence and not trusting ourselves.
Cool Q&A about the dark night of the soul. It was from a woman whose life is being stripped down, one thing at a time. Relationships, job, etc. It’s the last stage of the dark night of the soul, in which God is saying to simplify and walk with me – let go of all else. It’s unraveling the ego’s need to control. Make sure to rest in having all needs met, but only in one moment at a time. Abundance is already there and waiting on the other side of this process. The old paradigm is dissolving and making room for the new to emerge in full.
Abundant thinking: when we lose something, ask what is life preparing me to receive? Loss is always an initiation.
Note that this is all pointing to how is life helping me? How has life gotten this right? And that’s the theme of the retreat.