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Thanksgiving Again…

Howdy folks! I’m ba-ack, as they said in Poltergeist. I think that was the movie, anyway. Since we last “talked,” I’ve gotten licensed and am now on my own as a counselor. This is week #4 in my new office, which is really cool. I’m in a room in an old house in historic downtown Pensacola that’s informally known as “The Healing House.” It’s felt like home since the first day. So I haven’t totally been slacking…

This is just a brief Thanksgiving message, similar to what I’ve written about before about Thanksgiving, Christmas, and the holidays in general. Let’s all chill out and relax. Let your crazy family members be as they are. They probably aren’t going to change, and my whole point is that they don’t have to in order for you to be at peace. You might not want to hang out with them much, though, but that’s your call. Honestly, I’m lucky to have a family where everybody pretty much likes each other. I know plenty of people, though, where that’s not the case. So I know about it enough to say let’s all chill out. This is an annual measuring stick for seeing how you’re doing. Let’s take responsibility for our peace and see if it really takes two to argue. Let’s see if we can intentionally avoid some of the same arguments and patterns that have occurred for years. Years! And if the other person brings them up, can you be less reactive and more calm? Practice!

The people in your family (and friends) who are far from perfect are honestly doing their best, just like you are. I’m far from perfect and so are you. Look at things through their eyes, because there are reasons why they are as they are. It’s not random. Let’s let them be. Let’s at least try something different if we tend to get into the same bad conversations and painful interactions. Break the pattern! And if you do choose to say something, then use “I statements.” Don’t start pointing the finger at them, saying, “You shouldn’t do this or that.” Rather, say “I feel this way when you do this or that.” Big difference. And your tone is HUGE! You’ll notice they don’t immediately act defensively, like a caged animal under attack. You’ll get much better results. Say “we” as much as possible, too. It works. And take responsibility for your part. Be very clear about that.

So that’s my rant regarding family, which you might or might not hear again before the year is up. It really is important to keep these things in mind and see how peaceful it can be this year. What a convenient measuring stick, too. How am I doing? Am I less stressed out because I’m learning how to be less stressed out? Am I seeing that I’m in charge of whether or not it’s a good day or a bad day? Is my power shifting back to me, rather than “out there” in the world? If so, then it should take more to rattle me in terms of holiday stuff like busy schedules, traffic, traveling, money, and relatives. And when I don’t do so hot, I look at it and say, “Man, I totally sucked at being peaceful yesterday – I practically bit my uncle’s head off when he started talking about politics! But I’m going to try to do better today.” And I’m not too serious when I do that, either. That’s so important. I stay light and simply observe how I did and try to learn and grow. Then that argument serves a useful purpose and can even be viewed as a blessing.

So there we go, good folks. It’s always an honor and a pleasure talking to you while we’re on our respective journeys, which I’m pretty sure is ultimately the same journey. Cool things are coming up here, too. We’re going to talk some about the new science that’s coming out. It means we’re all connected. The scientists are very slowly catching up to the mystics who’ve known this for thousands of years. And you know by now that I’m only interested in how this knowledge helps me when things go south and I spill my smoothie all over my planner like I did yesterday morning. You can grab a sponge with a dirty mind or A Clean Mind. And now we’ll be deepening that more and more. It’s hard to take it so seriously when I start to really believe and feel that I’m an infinite being, literally connected to everything, right now at this very moment. Whoa… And that’s just what the scientists are discovering. This new science has pretty wild implications for our concept of time, too. As in it’s not like we think. The whole point is to open, open, open. It’s actually very good news. So we’ll be talking about that more and more. If you’re interested now, just get a book called The Field by Lynne McTaggart and start reading. It surveys the whole thing. So cool. In the meantime, happy Thanksgiving and happy everything else. And if you’re not happy at this moment, then do your best to own it and accept it and see if you can start where you are and slowly but surely move towards more peace. And as always, let me know if I can help.