Client/Friend Stories

Contraction… Optional!

This is pretty cool… And sorry for all the posts on anxiety recently, but they’ve been coming into my world and so I share them. Here’s the deal, though – they’re SUCH good illustrations of how all feelings work; anxiety is just a more extreme version. So it’s great for teaching purposes. Here we go… So my friend has a history with his dad. They totally love each other, but my friend finds his anxiety triggered by interactions with his dad. He’s been learning about what we talk about here, though – that most of our feelings are our body giving us information about our thinking. A brilliant feedback system, if you will. So he’s learning that he’s creating the anxiety based on thinking, most of which is invisible. Like is he a failure in his dad’s eyes, that kind of thing. His body is saying, “Dude! This is what you’re thinking. Take a look and decide if this is how you want to be thinking. Make sure these thoughts are 100% true. Maybe you believe these thoughts and maybe not; I’m just trying to get your attention to make sure you can see them. Bring them to the surface and take a look.” Well said, body…

So my friend is exploring this new way of seeing things, and he noticed recently that he had been texting with his dad, but without the anxiety. Woohoo!! This is cause for a major celebration. You see, anxiety is a contraction of the body. The body is tightening up and closing. This is how the body reacts to thinking such as, “I’m probably somewhat of a failure in my dad’s eyes. And he is totally qualified to be a universal judge of failure.” Both of these statements are probably wrong, by the way. And even if the first one is right, the second one is always wrong! So it nullifies the first one. But the body will still contract if this is what we’re thinking.

My friend now knows the rules of the game, though. He has learned Human 101. So he’s been able to ask his body what kind of thinking is responsible for the anxiety around his dad. And thoughts like the ones above have floated right up to the surface for viewing. They’ve been been brought from being unseen to being seen, and the anxiety is the reason why. Thank you, anxiety! Thank you, feelings! What valuable information to be given. And he was able to process these thoughts, either by himself or by talking to someone like me. He was able to think about them with his good source of thinking that’s built-in. The high quality thinking that came with the package. Call it inner wisdom or common sense, same thing. He is able to ignore the chatter and only listen to this, his inner best friend. A wise version of himself that’s always been there. And he’s seeing that he has been believing lots of false thoughts. Lots of 1+1=3. And he isn’t doing that anymore. And how do we know? Because the same text conversation with his dad that used to trigger anxiety doesn’t anymore. Or it triggers less of it. Good job, dude!

And here’s what it looks like if it comes back. He notices the anxiety while interacting with his dad, and instead of shutting down and thinking, “Oh no, it’s back” he relaxes into it right away. And he says to himself, “Yes! Sweet! There must be some more BS I can see. I know how this works now, so I’ll just take a look under the hood of my mind. But first, I’ll relax my body and totally open it, using lots of breath and putting the breath in the tight places. Relaxing and opening, relaxing and opening. And then I’ll take a look. But I don’t have to identify with this feeling right now or be afraid of it. I’m going to relax into it instead. It’s not me; it’s just by body giving me a temporary feeling to get my attention, so no big deal. I’m going to relax my body and see if I can handle this same exact situation, but without such a heavy feeling.” So cool…

Send this to people with anxiety, please! Let’s eradicate this. It is not a condition of the body. It is not a disease or a disorder. It is actually a really awesome illustration of how our body is constantly reacting to what’s going on in the mind. It is a really awesome illustration of how powerful our minds are. Our thinking, in an instant, can cause tight muscles, pounding heart, sweating, stomach issues, etc. Wow! I’ve just seen too much now, and I’ve seen too many people get better, with this simple understanding. And then practice, lots of practice. But you’re going to live anyway, so might as well practice. So cool… Peace out, and let me know if I can help!