Summary of Unity Talk, 2/21/16

Posted Posted in Other Cool Topics

I had the huge honor of speaking at the at the Unity of Pensacola church service today, filling in for Rev. Jamie Sanders who was out of town. I know that he’s very good at what he does, and I know that the congregation is always filled with the most beautiful of souls. So I was quite honored to share with them. This post is a very rough summary of what we talked about, which is LOVE and all that I’ve been learning and experiencing about love recently, which has really been rocking my world. Understatement of the year…

And a heads up for some of my readers or for those reading this blog to see if they want to do counseling or coaching with me: this will sound WAY more deep or new agey or woo woo than normal. If so, then definitely read some other posts! This one is totally of a different flavor. I wanted to provide a reference for those in the congregation, though. You do NOT have to think this way to do counseling with me. Not at all, not even one bit. The work that I do with clients is SO general, in fact, that it can work with any human. So please don’t judge just based on this. There we go, now let’s have some fun… Also note that there are lots of recent blog posts about love and what is written below, both before and after this one, so feel free to check those out as well.

Receiving Love

Here’s what I learned in a crowded restaurant on a Friday night with a bluegrass band playing… It was the Original Point Restaurant at Innerarity Point over towards Perdido, near the FL-AL state line on the coast, and Bubba & Them were playing. They’ve been there in different incarnations for decades now, I think. I was with an enlightened guy (literally) named John Mark Stroud and his wife Cindy. I love them. He is totally real, and totally awesome – not on a pedestal or something like that. Quite the opposite, in fact. His website is Check it out. It’s definitely a different flavor of spirituality, but it sure cuts right to the truth. And from the top down, too: you already are that which you seek. Yes, it might take some work to cut through the layers of forgetting, though. My life changed forever that night. Here we go…

First of all, the soul is like a sun, beaming love constantly everywhere. We incarnate in a body and forget what we really are, and then we do all kinds of unloving things out of fear. Yet the whole time, the soul is still doing what it does… sending infinite amounts of love indiscriminately. Even if a person is yelling at you, for example, their soul is still sending you love. What?? This means that at any moment, you can stop, put the world aside, and receive love; it’s NEVER missing. And trust me, I know that it sure feels like it is at times. You can always choose to receive it, though, from anyone or anything. You don’t have to know them. They don’t have to be anywhere near you. And they don’t have to currently be alive (in a body), either. Wow! Try this out for yourself. Pick someone, whether you know them or not and whether you are near them or not, and simply acknowledge that they are a soul beaming love, as you are, and simply say, “Thank you for your love.” And then relax, open, receive, and see what you feel. When I first did this, he had me choose a random person in the restaurant. I chose an older woman sitting at the bar with her back towards me. I did as he said, acknowledging the truth of what she is as an infinitely loving soul, and then silently said, “Thank you for your love.” And then I sat back and received. Instantly, my body started to vibrate in the heart area and above. Wow! It was not subtle, either. And I was not told what to expect. His point was simply that love is never missing. Also note that we are all of different sensitivities, so you might feel a nice vibration or you might not. But the body definitely gets more sensitive with gentle practice, as mine has. And finally, don’t forget to beam them back as well! Effortlessly…

Being a Channel for Healing

John Mark showed me another exercise as well, and it was pretty cool. I now realize I forgot about this one while giving the talk, so think of this is a bonus exercise. And what a major, powerful one it is! So we’re still in the crowded restaurant, bluegrass band playing a few feet from us, and he had me say to the Spirit, “If there is anyone here that needs healing, I am open to being a channel for your healing.” Then just be open. Wow! This time, that vibration was even stronger. Like, very strong. Again, it was in the heart area and above for me. Wow. He explained that we don’t have to know who it is or what they need. But the fact is that a person in that restaurant could’ve just gotten the answer to a prayer, or a text message, or the person they’re with could’ve told them what they needed to hear. We have no idea; we are just the instrument. Then he warned me that when he learned this, he really wanted to wake up fast. So he did this 24/7, going to hospitals, malls, and the like. This guy is pretty hardcore… After a few days, he got the flu! This practice brings in such high vibrational frequencies that the lower frequencies have to go. He was a bit extreme, so the body had no choice but to get rid of them in this manner. So he said to be aware of that…

Loving Yourself

Now let’s do some self-love. To start, you can pick something for which you are proud of yourself, big or small. Now close your eyes and breathe in love for yourself as best you can for this. You are simply stopping and giving yourself credit. Breathe it in and feel it. Breathe it down to your toes and let it swirl around the entire body. And don’t worry if this is difficult to do. If it is, well of course it is! It’s new. It can shift SO fast, though. I’ve seen the shift too many times. Just be consistent and don’t pay any attention to the results; just keep showing up and doing it. For example, do this for one minute three times a day and see what happens after two weeks. Also note that the reason for love could also be your intention rather than the result. As in, maybe I don’t think I’ve been the best at this or that, but I sure want to. My intentions are pure. This alone is justification for love from myself.

Now to see where we’re headed, choose someone that you know loves you unconditionally, be it a friend or family member. And some of the best examples are pets, especially dogs. Even a dog from your past. Close your eyes and simply receive love from that one. Breathe it in, all the way to your toes. Picture that one if it’ll help. If it’s a dog, picture how happy s/he is when you get home. Then just receive that love and feel it. Relax into it with your whole being. Just fall back into it, saying “Ahhhh.” It feels amazing! Especially with some practice. Most people can do this quite easily since it’s from another, so let’s note that this is how it’ll be for you loving yourself after a while.

Now notice that that one didn’t need a specific reason for loving you. This leads to unconditional self love. We picked a reason before, even a small one. Now let’s think about the fact that living on earth is hard enough and I’m doing my best! So that’s reason enough to shower myself with love at any moment. Well, there’s unconditional self-love. And, I’m a soul beaming love everywhere all the time anyway, so why would I be left out of that! Practice this for one minute, three times a day. Before you get out of bed in the morning, when you get into bed at night, and any other time during the day. You can do it at a red light or in the bathroom (just sayin’). See what happens after two weeks. And don’t judge the results; just do it. If you need help, then feel free to call or email me to set up a session and let’s explore. It’s just too important!

Another thing you can do is silently (or not) say, “I love you” to yourself over and over. A lot. Fast or slow. Just do it a ton and see what happens over time. It might sort of take you out of the equation and melt some of your defenses. Sometimes, I’ll say it over and over pretty quickly, for a minute or so (which seems like a long time when you’re doing this). I’ll do this no matter how I’m feeling, and not even thinking about “if it’s working” or “If I’m feeling it” or anything like that. Just do it. And after just a little while, sure enough, my chest area will feel lighter, more expansive, more open. Then I’ll take a big breathe into my heart, and it will have opened up and shifted. Pretty cool… Try it!

Breathing In God’s (Source’s) Love

I forgot about this as well during the talk and only did this for a bit during the meditation afterwards, and yes the meditation was a bit short. This is MAJOR, though, and it sure speeds up a meditation and getting to a deeper space. So maybe I’ll get to come back to focus some more on this. So let’s talk about the breath and our Source. The breath is said to literally be Spirit. Let that sink in for a moment… And for another moment… And for one more… This is HUGE! And it definitely is not currently common knowledge, even among spiritually-minded folks. Some call it the Holy Spirit. Some call it God’s (Source’s) Love. It is the real-life bridge, accessible at any time, to our Reality as spiritual beings, connecting every cell in our bodies to our true Self that exists in perfect peace outside of time and space. That might sound like a bunch of slick talking, so let’s put concepts aside and do it: simply close your eyes, relax your body, and breathe in Spirit. Breathe in God’s love, or Source’s love (the name doesn’t matter). Also some call God “All That Is.” Are you separate from all that is? Am I? Is anyone or anything?? No! Thankfully… Here’s something else I was not able to get into the meditation: Some say that our inbreath is God’s outbreath and that our outbreath is God’s inbreath. Think about that for a moment and let the mind be blown… And then do it! Do some relaxed breathing while considering this, with no goal or anything like that. Just doing some innocent – and playful – experimenting (a playful quality really speeds things up). You might just have a profound experience with the breath. And note that there’s no special technique or anything like that. You don’t need a course or a certificate. It’s simply information, understanding. And it’s available to you for free anytime, anyplace. Just breathe in through the nose, up the base of the spine. Breathe up into the heart and let it gently roll over into an out-breath. And then breathe in again in the same manner. And know that you are breathing in Spirit or God’s love, and see how it feels in the body after not even one minute. Talk about a stress melter… This alone can change your life. Also note that you can always breathe in this manner. Always. Some call it LovesBreath. Check this out for more information – you might want to try it out (or anything else on this website):

Deeper Healing

There’s another level of this that can be applied to very deep personal healing, but that’s pretty much for another talk and another writing. It’s so transformational, though, that I’ll mention it here briefly. This stuff is hot off the presses for me, too, so I’m still learning. Let’s say you’re triggered, meaning you’re in a really bad place feeling-wise. You’re feeling upset, sad, anxious, abandoned, rejected, not good enough, unimportant, etc. Now let’s take a close look at what’s really going on. In that moment, it feels like love is missing. Love is what you need, so the answer is love. But you expected it from someone or something else. Since they did not supply it, you can now do the radical thing of supplying it for yourself, NOW! You become the source of the love that you thought you needed. Bam! Can you see the power in this? It’s pretty huge. Again, this is just a taste here. Just a taste. We will go into much more detail when the time is right. And I hope that time is soon, because this is big stuff.

Let me give an example before we go. Something happening to me not long ago and the feeling was huge. I was really, really triggered. And I thought, “Why am I this triggered?” It just seemed exaggerated and out of proportion. So I thought back and realized that a similar thing had happened years ago that really rocked me emotionally when I was younger. And what happened recently reminded me of that older event, without my even knowing! And it served to really amplify the feeling. When I finally took a step back and saw what was happening, I was able to see that there was a younger version of me in there that was super scared and thought that love was missing. He needed love. So I gave him love. I flooded him with love, right then and there. Then things shifted and I was able to see the current event more clearly.

That’s just a very brief illustration, but it’s the best we have now. In the meantime, though, I highly recommend that you get a copy of Matt Kahn’s new book, Whatever Arises, Love That. It’s describing a new spirituality for a new time, which is now. We are here, and we are ready. Any of his videos are amazing, too, including the one that I wrote about in a blog post from October 2015. And his website is I can’t say enough about this guy or the love revolution that he is helping to usher in. Great videos, great articles, and a great email newsletter. And the book is where it’s at. We are ready and you are ready. It’s a major honor to join with you here, wow, and as always, let me know if I can help. And… I love you!

Why You Can Always Love Yourself Unconditionally

Posted Posted in Essential Topics

We’ve been big into self-love lately here at A Clean Mind. Last week, we wrote about moving from thinking about loving ourselves to actually feeling it; anytime, anyplace. Now let’s get to the reason why. Because we can be SO hard on ourselves. I know I sure can. I can honestly say that I’ve achieved mastery of that… And as best I can be, I’m done.

I’ve mentioned that awesome Matt Kahn video so many times, the one about being nice to ourselves. When I wrote about it last October, we talked about finding specific reasons to love ourselves, no matter how big or small, and focusing on those rather than on what we don’t like about ourselves. Maybe I was nice to the person at the gas station or to a co-worker. That’s REALLY awesome when you think about it, so stop and feel some love for yourself. Give yourself some credit for making the world a better place, even if it seems small. It really shifts how you feel. In Matt’s words, it raises your vibration. And if that sounds too woo-woo or new-agey for you, don’t even worry about it. They’re just words, pointing at some meaning. Just feel out the meaning as best you can and focus on that. And the meaning here is simply that this is a really awesome and powerful practice, for you and for your peace. Nice, I’ll take two then.

Today we’re going changes gears and go all out with a blanket reason to love yourself all the time. All. The. Time. Are you ready? Here we go… Life can be a bitch and you’re doing your freaking best! You’re trying! Good lord, it’s not easy! Can I cut myself some slack?? Wow, I’ve been way too hard on myself. And it might finally be time to try out a different way. Now pause, take a breath, and just let that sink in. Breathe with it for a minute or so, without analysis. Just breathe with it and see how your body feels. Relax into it. Give it a few seconds, and we will check in afterwards……….

……………..[Breathing with it]………………

So how does that feel? Did your body open some, even if there was resistance at first? If so, that would be pretty normal. That’s why we don’t let the mind jump right in and analyze it. Staying with the breath for a little while actually accesses a greater intelligence that’s built-in. It’s not trying to compete with the thinking mind, though, so it can take a few seconds. But when it kicks in, the body begins to open. And we see there’s some truth there that we might’ve missed had we done our habitual over-thinking.

So we now have a reason to love ourselves all the time. Not bad for a Thursday afternoon! And if we look closely at what this means, we see that less love is never the answer. If things are going well, then I deserve more love and not less. And if things are not going well, then I still deserve more love and not less. This is because more love will help me become the person I want to become. Not less. I’ve tried that, and it has not worked. Maybe it looks like it has worked some, but doesn’t it feel like there’s a ceiling there? If so, then play with this new idea for yourself and experiment. See what works for you, and just be curious. And note that we are not condoning any “bad behaviors” or anything like that. We are honest when we don’t like how we’ve acted. Let’s own everything, but let’s also look at our perceived shortcomings in a field of love rather than a field of judgment. Breathe with that for a few seconds… Because we just might grow faster this way. And that’s exactly what we want.

So play with this idea. Play with it for two weeks, perhaps. Why not – isn’t your life worth it? For two weeks?? I’d say so! This really is a game changer. And all we’re doing is trying out something new. You might also want to read Matt Kahn’s book that just came out, Whatever Arises, Love That. It has really helping me to shift and deepen my understanding of what love is and especially what self-love is. Wow… So check it out. And if you don’t, all good. You’ll be hearing more about it here. In fact, I already know what the next two installments will be on this topic. And they’re pretty cool. And so are you 🙂

FEELING Love More Deeply. You. NOW!

Posted Posted in Essential Topics

I’ve written a bunch here over the years about being nicer to ourselves, talking nicely to ourselves, loving ourselves. You know, that sort of minor thing… You see, I realized just a few years ago that I was being a total jerk to myself! And I thought about it, and that just didn’t make sense. So I decided to give it up, right then and there. It was in the name of “trying to be a better person.” When I’m more like this or that then I’ll love myself more. Said another way, when I’m “perfect” then I’ll love myself more. And you know what? Perfection never came. I never got there, never arrived. I’d been moving the finish line out further and further of where the original destination was. Clever mind trick, huh?  I looked back over the years and realized I had totally surpassed where the finish line used to be! I’d blown by it years before, and yet I had never stopped to celebrate. I kept adding things to it, and I didn’t even know I was doing this. So I kept being hard on myself. And I was not truly happy.

Let’s get real here… Not loving yourself is like emptying the gas tank of your car and then trying to drive somewhere. Umm, you kind of need the gas… And you kind of need your own love. Pause and take a (loving) breath of that, letting it sink in all the way………….

Again, we justify this harshness by thinking it makes us a “better person.” If this resonates, then just start paying attention to see if it’s really true. Look back and ask yourself if it has truly worked. If so, then knock yourself out! You might notice, though, that you can be just as firm and yet still be loving. And you’ll feel better. And then those qualities or behaviors that you don’t like about yourself might even shift faster as well. Now that would be cool…

When I watched that amazing Matt Kahn video about this very topic back in October, the one that so many friends, family, and clients have been transformed by, it changed everything completely. It really took this loving yourself thing to a whole new level, a palpable level. Palpable – that’s the difference. It’s not just a bunch of thinking; it goes much deeper than that. I started to put the world aside for a few seconds and intentionally feel love for myself, breathing it in. Relaxing into it, just like that. Any time, any place. And you can, too. This has become a big part of what I do with clients, so I’ll share it here. Here we go…

First I’ll have clients simply close their eyes and feel love for themselves as best they can in that moment. For what reason? Eventually it’s unconditional, so we don’t need a specific reason. And we’ll be talking about unconditional love for yourself very soon; it’s on the list. Until then, though, let’s make it really simple. Pick one nice thing you’ve done recently. Just one! Have you stopped to give yourself credit for this? Wouldn’t you compliment a friend or family member for doing the same thing? As I wrote back in October, it could be something as simple as being nice to the checkout person at the grocery store. Seriously, that’s really awesome! You just extended love in the world. And you never know how the most minor-seeming comment or gesture can have a real domino effect, or what chaos theory calls the “butterfly effect.” You never know. And you don’t need to know! Just bask in the awesomeness of being nice and extending love. So stop and tell yourself, “That was really nice. Good job.” And then feel that nice feeling, literally breathing it down to your toes. Feel it swirl around in your body. It’s pretty cool. And talk about a stress melter! Pause and do this now for a minute or so……………

Good job, you. Many people report this being difficult to do at first. Not everyone, but many. It might even feel inauthentic. That’s okay; I’ve seen it shift SO fast. So don’t judge how it goes at all. Not even one bit; just do it. Try it for one minute, three times a day. Morning, lunch, and before bed. Like when you’re lying in bed before you get up in the morning and before you fall asleep at night. You might even have a better day and sleep better, too. So pause and try it again for minute or so…………..

Great job, you. Now let’s deepen it. An idea popped in my head a few weeks ago to speed things up. After the above exercise with eyes still closed, shift to feeling the love from a loved one or even from a pet. From someone you KNOW loves you at the end of the day. Dogs are great for this exercise. So do this now: Close your eyes, picture that one (pet, friend, family member, etc.) and simply breathe in their love for you. Don’t analyze it. In fact, don’t think at all! Just fall back into this loving feeling and let it swirl around your body, from your head down to your toes. Feel those cells sing. Wow! This can be pretty awesome. But now here’s the really cool part – now do it for yourself again. Love yourself, but in this way. Many people need to experience the love from another first to see how strong it can be. This is how you can learn to love your own self.

Here’s my invitation to you. Simply play with this for a couple of weeks. Make a note. Put it in your calendar. Write it down in your car. You can do this at a red light or in the bathroom. Just sayin… Do what you have to do to remember, knowing that this can be the beginning of a whole new life, quite literally! You’re tapping into MAJOR power here. Major. And you’re worth it. So give it a try and see what happens. One minute, three times a day. And don’t beat yourself up when you realize you haven’t been doing it – just do it on the spot for a few seconds. Do it, people!! You can see that I get kind of excited about this stuff… Also know that this is becoming a VERY central part of A Clean Mind, so get in there and play, explore. There is no failure. And as always, let me know if I can help!