Happy February, folks. And since Valentine’s Day is this month, let’s talk about… relationships! We actually have a full month coming up of great stuff about relationships, in our customary, super zoomed out way, so stay tuned for that. The way in which we talk about things here is often different than what you’ve heard before, because our main goal is always this – learning how to see through the eyes of the universe. What an upgrade that is over seeing through the eyes of our conditioning, our wounding, and how everybody else sees things. I’ve been talking to clients about relationships in this way for a while now, but I don’t think I’ve ever written about it before. This is exciting!
So here’s the deal, the universe is all about growth and transformation. That’s why everything in our lives is actually a gift, serving the purpose of helping us on our journey of being brighter and shinier than ever before. And as this happens to more and more people on the planet, over time earth will become a much more amazing place to live. So since everything is here for our growth, relationships are no different. They are for the growth of all involved, the best vehicle for you to thrive in at that time.
Now, my understanding is that for the most part, we’re designed to be “serial monogamists.” We’re meant to be with someone that’s right for our growth at that time. And when that time has expired, we’re meant to move on. And we each grow that way (see the Note below, because I’m not saying to just bounce from relationship to relationship!). We also usually have periods of time in between when we’re not in relationship. During those times, we’re actually integrating everything we’ve learned in our previous relationships. And we’re also learning to be in better relationship with ourselves. Boom! Let that one sink in.
You see, the better the relationship you have with yourself, the more whole and complete you are. And the more whole and complete you are, the more whole and complete a partner you will attract, like a magnet. It’s all about the vibrational match. You don’t have to find that person, let them find you. Just focus on your own transformation into an amazing person. Isn’t it so interesting to see things in this way?? I love this stuff so much… And as always, you don’t have to decide on anything or believe anything. Just take it in and see what lands for you. All good.
Note That I Mentioned Above: I’m definitely not saying to just run from relationship to relationship at the drop of a hat. Slow down and really tune in to whether it’s right for you – at this time – or not. Take your time, there’s no rush. And some relationships are absolutely meant to be “until death do we part,” more on that below. Most are not, though, at least not until we’ve done a certain amount of growing. Then since all of that growth is no longer necessary (because we’ve already done it), we might find that we attract a partner to really settle down with.
Another note: I know lots of people these days aren’t sure that monogamy is for them. There are open relationships and polyamorous relationships, and I’m sure all kinds of things in between. I can see how this can be for some people, at some times. Look closely though, because what might seem to be the calling of the soul might actually be the ego’s inability to commit. Boom! So just feel into that if you’re curious about these different kinds of relationships. If it’s really that the ego can’t commit, then your best growth will be… in commitment. And the ego does NOT like to hear that. Grrr…
One More Note: I’ll be writing about this more, because it’s one of our central things, but you can think of your ego as the beautiful and innocent child within that I talk about all the time. Spirituality and psychology can make the ego out to be an enemy of sorts, to be gunned down and killed if you get a glimpse of it. But it’s just an innocent baby. Our approach is to love it into submission, so to speak, so that it relaxes its grip on our lives and allows itself to be healed and integrated, allows itself to grow up. Grow up into what? Into the mature adult of your soul! So it’s kind of a big deal.
At this point in our talk, let me be clear that I am NOT anti-marriage; not at all! But I’m pretty sure that marriage as we know it is a human concept. Remember what we said above, that the purpose of relationships, from the perspective of the universe, is for growth. So if a relationship is stagnant, and the soul feels like it is dying, then the universe could not possibly endorse that! Because that would be “clown shoes” (and clown shoes are ridiculous – don’t you like that? My friend told me that one).
So let’s break it down. As I said above, some relationships are absolutely meant to be “until death do we part.” But I think it’s pretty clear, if you take an honest and objective look, that most definitely are not. For starters, look at the divorce rate. And of the marriages that survive, look at the percentage that are vibrant versus those that are pretty much dead. Also look at all the people you know in vibrant marriages that had one or more “starter marriages.” Interesting how that works… That’s the growth that I mentioned above.
Remember our recent post about how nothing is a mistake (because it’s all a process); that totally applies here. So marriage is fine, marriage is great, marriage is amazing… but it’s not the “set in stone” thing that many of us were taught (innocently) that it is. That’s the “human creation” aspect of it that I was talking about earlier. Looking someone in the eye and saying “I do” is actually your best decision at that time. And sometimes the person we marry changes into a totally different person, one that we definitely did not marry, nor one that we would have ever even considered marrying! So there’s also that. If that’s the case, then it’s time to move on. Because neither of you is growing anymore.
We’ll talk in a future post about how you will know if a relationship has expired or not, according to the universe. And by “expired,” I don’t mean that it will necessarily come to and end. That’s often the case, but it can also be the case that it changes form, from intimate to friends. And sometimes you still end up being very close and deep “soul friends,” very valuable to each other and to each other’s growth. Just not in the intimate way that it was before. So Happy Valentine’s Month, people! And if your valentine this year is YOU and your beautiful, innocent heart, then that’s just what is happening. And it’s not an accident. And it’s a big deal, leading to the healing necessary to attract the kind of partner that you truly want, if you want one at all. And if you don’t, then you get to eat all the chocolates by yourself. Amen, enjoy. And we’ll be telling the amazing and hilarious story of The Eviction very soon.